The Complicated Simple Life

Just keep plodding on...

2010-07-17T09:08:00.002+01:00

Well, this has been an interesting week indeed.
A few weeks back we both decided that we wanted to buy a house and start family ASAP... the day after those talks, he changed his mind completely and ruled out having kids all together and became seriously depressed. As you can imagine, this devestated me and ever since I have been stuck in a really horrible place debating whether it is just a phase and he will come back or if I a wasting my time with an incredible man who simply doesn't want to pro-create.
Talk came back to that subject last weekend and he wrote me a letter stating that if he has the choice of keeping me and havin a child together or losing me completely, he would pick the first option. Great! I can now have a child with someone who doesn't 100% want one. That has now put me into an even more difficult place! I honestly don't know what I want, I know that I definately want a baby, which I will of course wait until the time is right... but is this the right to bring a life into the world with?
As always, talking about the future brought on a deppressive episode for him the following day which had been steadily getting worse over the week. Wednesday night I thought was his real low point... it wasn't. Thursday morning we woke up for his early alarm and he said he wasn't going into work and he would phone in and say he had been sick in the night. No matter how much I protested, I couldn't change his mind.
I also called my work and said I needed to be there for Tony. Thankfully they are really understanding and I still have some annual leave left! He slept/laid there moping until 11am when I was finally able to coax him out of bed. I thought that was huge progress and perhaps it wouldn't be as bad as I was expecting... I was wrong. He had a shower and went straight back to bed :-(
Around lunchtime I was able to get him up and we went for a really long walk which seemed to help massivly and that night, he was well enough to go to his delivery job. I talked him into it as it was only going to be an easy shift for a couple of hours, how wrong was I?! He didn't return home until midnight as they were short staffed! Doh!
Again I had to do a whole lot of reassuring about going to work the next morning which seemed to have worked. What a relief. He is now on the mend preparing for the next time...
I spoke to his Doctor yesterday who Tony had told me was referring him for cognitive behavioural therapy... She's not. She said to me there are no talking therapies that will help someone who is bipolar and CBT is not proven to work for a bipolar sufferer. That is very different to all of my research and even what my carers assessor has told me! She says medication is the only way to help control it. I now have to break to him the news that he is not going to get the CBT lifeline we thought would fix everything.
And just to complicate matters... A chap at work is flirting, heavily... He is very nice, good fun and a great distraction, but there is a line he and I must not cross. I can only imagine what that would do to someone as fragile as Tony.

2010-07-01T22:28:00.000+01:00

The downside to posting few and far between is that I need to update you with alot of things that have been happening!
Tony suffers from Bipolar and is now on medication. He never took anything for it when we first met but that has had to change what with his episodes becoming more frequent and severe. The turning point was when he told me he hadn't been to work, despite pretending he had. In reality, he spent the day sat in the woods by himself planning his suicide. When something like that happens, you know things have to change. Since taking the tablets, the episodes have slowed and the tablets seem to soften the blow as it were. The main side effects of the medication is he is very sleepy and sleep talks regularly! Now that I have become more used to the sleep talking, his dosage has been doubled; This has led to further side effects of sleep walking! That I cannot get used to!
Last night he sat bolt upright and would not lie back down for love nor money. "Have you had your tablet?" I softly asked. "No." He then proceeded to take his tablet whilst being mostly asleep and barely remembered it this morning. Fingers crossed that never happens again and the sleep talking and walking eases off! It terrifies me to think that he may be able to get up in the night and wander outside.

The Joys of Boys

2010-05-12T20:32:00.002+01:00

Things have changed... Alot.
I have moved in with Tony and we have been doing up the house together since February. Very tiring but so satisfying seeing it all come together. To help with the bills we have to have a lodger... Boooo! We had a girl for all of 2 months who was so lazy and unhealthy it was unreal! When she first moved in, her boyfriend was helping her get her bags into the house. After it was all done, we all sat down and got to know eachother better and we soon found out they met online only 2 weeks before she moved in with us. Something I have missed is that she wanted to move in sooner than we would let her, so she moved in temporarily with her new chap. Quick? Very.
She was a strange girl. She practically lived in her room and would only sit downstairs when Tony was working. She never once cooked a meal and lived on ready meals and junk food. She often complained of not being able to sleep, however never once thought about the amount of Red Bull and fizzy, high caffeine drinks she had prior to going to bed. Daft girl, oh well, moan over... about that anyway! Four weeks after moving in, she sat downstairs with me whilst Tony was at work and said she had good news and bad news. I could tell already what she was going to say.
"Chris has asked me to move in with him" She only knew the guy for 6 weeks!!!
Anyway, we got through it and we now have the Bulgarian living here. I hasten to add he is a man! I didn't really want a male lodger living for us. I don't mind, but it's just when Tom is at work in the evenings I don't feel as comfortable as I could/should. Every so often I like to have a long hot bath and relax in the lounge in nothing but my dressing gown... However with a stranger man in the house, no.
The Bulgarian is turning out to be a very good housemate though, he washes up and has even asked if I can create a cleaning rota! He is the complete opposite of the girl. His only downside has come out tonight... he likes football. Tony was very pleased with this revelation and yes they are currently sat glued to the TV watching the match.
I am no longer a football widow but a football prisoner...

2010 - Time for Change

2010-01-02T22:23:00.002Z

Happy new year one and all!
We had a quiet yet eventful festive period. We spent Christmas with Tony's family again, just like last year, which was all nice despite the usual sibling rivallry over a game of Yatzee. Honestly, they need their heads banging together!
Just before Christmas, it was decided that I would be moving into Tony's house. For this to happen, one of his current housemates would be evicted. This being the troublesome housemate who is a complete pain in the backside! He almost always has his friends over, which is ok for some of the time, except the fact they often stay the night in the lounge and are still there in the morning even though the housemate has gone out to work! Cheeky sod! He has had several warnings before about smoking in the house (another major fault of his). To my great surprise, when Tony told said housemate things weren't working out and that his mum wanted him to move out, he appeared shocked! Even now, 3 weeks later, he is still shocked!!! What a dimwit!
Anywho, he has until the 31st of January to move out and I have until the 23rd February to air the room out and move in. I nipped into his room on New Years Eve (I knew he was out for the night) as I hadn't actually looked at the room before deciding I would move in. I opened the door and immediatly walked back out. It stank of cigarettes. I have never smelt anything so bad! I hang around with smokers and their houses don't smell that bad!
So that was the big event.
My main Christmas present from Tony was a beautiful white gold locket with a diamond on the front. When he gave me the present alot went through my over imaginative mind. I took the paper off to reveal an Ernest Jones bag (other jewellers are available!), I gulped but thought "it's a big bag, it's fine", I then opened the bag to find a small box. Gulp. I slid the sleeve off of the box to reveal a smaller box. GULP. I suddenly found myself thinking "Oh my God, is he proposing? Am I ready for this (again)? How can I say no in front of his entire family?!" I then opened the box to find the locket and alot of relief! Maybe next year and I will be ready!
On New Years Eve, we just stayed in with some movies and a bottle of champagne and made the night our own. It was nice, just a shame we were in Tony's grubby house. That will change when I move in!
Things to be done in 2010:

Move into Tony's house
Redecorate (touch up) our house :-)
Go to Malaysia to see one of my best friends who I haven't seen for 7 years
Go indoor skydiving

And one more thing... I have recentely taken up knitting, I am an old 23 year old, what can I say. I had been making a scarf, start simple I thought. I then got bored of making said scarf and was rapidly running out of wool so decided to turn it into a knitting bag (I really do feel old). As I was sowing it up I realized it would make a great hat, yeah, I 'm not really a hat person. I continued transforming it into a bag and I have finally finished making something for a change! I can't remember the last time I finished making something! I feel so proud!

Have a good 2010 all.

Decisions...

2009-10-31T12:15:00.002Z

Things have taken rather a dramatic turn...
Drew (an ex) sent me a message on my birthday and sparked a few memories (nice ones). When he left me, 2 years ago, there was no explanation and he vanished off the face of the earth! I was so close to saying those 3 words to him before he left and had to force myself not to say it.
Several messages went back and forwards aand continue to do so now. Unfortunately... I love Tony, we are planning on moving in with eachother in April time, however I have now sparked all these feelings I had kept buried all this time for Drew.
The other night I decided to see Drew and tell him straight... I love Tony and nothing was going to change that and pretty much draw the line there and then. The evening started badly... I sent a text to what I thought was Drew saying "Looks like he is working, are you ready?" Just as I hit send I realised it was going to Tony. Bugger. I managed to talk my way out of it but felt terrible for lying to him. When I arrived at Drew's house, all I could say was "I am such a horrible nasty person!" I just sat there feling guilty for the rest of the night and for some reason, I have agreed to go to the local beach with him tonight. I honestly don't know what I want now, things with Tony are getting tense and I am just wondering if that is because of me.
Only time will tell and noone knows what the future will hold. One thing I do know, I will not cheat.

Honey, I'm home!

2009-09-04T18:41:00.002+01:00

So then, due to being up all hours with my tummy bug I have cracked the writers block and have returned to the wonderful world of Blogdom!

There is a great deal to catch up on which I shall be doing gradually. For instance, Tony had a mental breakdown in January, quit his job, started a record label which ended before it even began, left me in February (for a week) and since then has been back to normal and better than ever!

We have been traveling here, there and everywhere! Well, Switzerland on a road trip for a weekend, Barcelona, Milan (beautiful!) and Chester to name but a few. Our adventures have cost us a fair few pennies and have left us being VERY careful now! The next trip will be to Copenhagen, but when is a whole other matter.

Oh and I have moved house... again. On the housing front, I usually get itchy feet after a year in a house and want to move again. Tony and I discussed our current living situation the other night. We both live in shared houses, separately. I hate sharing a house with strangers and he is rapidly going the same way. I now refuse to stay at his due to it being so filthy and grotesque. We have decided that in April next year, we shall start looking for a flat together! Hoorah!

I went to the Doctors today to find out what is going on with my stomach as I now know that it is not a pregnancy. I told him the symptoms and he poked my belly... "Oo", its never good when a Doctor says "oo"! He then went on to say that I had gotten there just in time, again, not a great thing to say! He has told me that I have acid reflux (the stomach acid keeps going up the food pipe) and has been eating away at the pipes. He has given me some capsules the size of a house and then took several blood tests. I shall find out next week if I have any of the following ailments (and more!): liver damage/tumor, coeliac, wheat and lactose intolerance, diabetes and many more. I then went to Tescos and got a few simple items and realized that if I am coeliac or even lactose intolerant, I would not be able to have anything that was in my basket. Fun times ahead...

Accidents... No thank you!

2009-09-04T18:29:00.000+01:00

I have found myself to be getting obsessed (and slightly paranoid) by the idea of “accidently” becoming pregnant. Please don’t take this the wrong way, I would never, ever dream of missing a pill on purpose or tricking my boyfriend into thinking I was on the pill when I wasn’t. I am an honest and upfront girl, if I decide that I want to have a baby, I would tell him straight. But that ain’t happening for a few years yet! I just love the idea of being pregnant.

On bank holiday Monday night I awoke in the small hours with the urge to be sick, I could feel it in my chest and believe me, it did not feel great. But a little part of me wondered “what if I am?”

The following day I was still feeling pretty grotty and called the office to make them aware that I wouldn’t be in (on the busiest day of the month). Later my housemate (a 50 something old fashioned hippy lady) was asking me about my symptoms and came out with the question, “Could you be pregnant?” Gulp. Someone else thought it too. She then rambled on about hippy friendly, non chemical, non intrusive methods of contraception. I convinced her that I was not “up the duff” and added a pregnancy test to my mental shopping list.

She then went on to describe in great detail a form of contraception she has used... twice. I honestly don’t think she has been with a man many more times than that. It was the Cap. This is a product that you have to insert into the vagina after smearing spermicidal gel all over it and yourself. You can just imagine it now...

You have had a wonderful evening with that special someone and a passionate onslaught of French kissing ensues. He swiftly unclips your bra and runs his hand up under your blouse gently stroking the small of your back. He slowly slides his hand up higher and brings it around to caress your breast. His hand brushes against your erect nipple and sparks fly throughout your body and every hair stands on end. You raise one leg and wrap it around his waist and feel the large package throbbing through his jeans. He moves a hand under your thigh and progresses nearer to your tingling groin. His hand slides in and his fingers begin twitching sending your whole body into spasm.

You begin unbuttoning his jeans and grasp his throbbing member. As you begin to massage his balls, he lifts you up. You wrap both your legs around and can feel the tip throbbing on your moist lips; you thrust your hips forwards. He throws you down onto the bed and climbs on top of you. He begins kissing your chest and slowly moves his mouth further down your body. He returns his mouth to your face and begins to enter you when it suddenly dawns on you.

“STOP! I need the cap! Pass me the spermicidal gel, honey, give me two minutes and I’ll be with you”

PASSION KILLER!!! So, for now I shall continue to pump my body full of chemicals (the pill) or, on second thoughts, it could well be his turn to take responsibility... Mans worst enemy, the Johnny!

For those who were wondering, two days later, I still have a poorly tum which prompted me to get a test. Negative. The pill still stands strong!

Until next time, have good fun, passionate and most importantly safe sex people! Don’t want any accidents now, do we?

Birthday treats...

2008-10-03T17:57:00.001+01:00

There had been a big build up to this day, my birthday. Everybody who knew Tony seemed to know what he had gotten me and it sounded as if it was going to be a big deal, so when the day came I tried (and failed) to contain my excitement!

First he woke me up with quite possibly the best sex ever; There’s something about morning sex, gets me excited just thinking of that feeling of him just starting to slip in… Hmmm. Any way, after the morning horizontal tango he presented the first gift of the day, a Coldplay CD. He is very musically minded and wants to “teach” me the ways and all that jazz.

Throughout the day he gave me more gifts which happened to make up the entire back catalogue for Coldplay. Nice touch I though. We went to the beach and walked along the shore hand in hand as if nothing else in the world mattered, it was just us on our own strolling along in our own little world.

Once back home he got out an envelope. It was a standard white self sealed envelope, like you would receive in the mail containing a letter from an office somewhere. I sat trying to rack my brains of the past few days, what could be in that little envelope? I felt it very carefully… there was no ring inside (lucky seeing as the divorce isn’t over yet), the paper inside felt sturdy, not quite card, but a high quality thick paper.

I couldn’t hold back any longer and ripped along the seal. I caught a glimpse of a metallic purple flash and felt even more compelled to rip open the envelope like an over excited child at Christmas. It was my birthday, I’m allowed right? So I figured it was ok and started shredding the envelope with Tony looking on with an excited glint in his eye. I pulled out the small piece of thick paper and saw “Voucher” straight away with an image of the Angel of the North. I felt confused, I didn’t realise you had to pay to go to see that! - You don’t by the way.

He told me to read the voucher very carefully and as I read I had glimmers of my own life throughout the suggestions on the back of the voucher. “A trip to Nine Springs, Ham Hill, football stadiums, National parks, Safari parks, art galleries” and the list continued, all picked out carefully to match my life and things we had done together and enjoyed. He then explained that he wrote everything himself and gave it to a friend who is a graphic designer and she was able to create this simple, unique gift. I have never received such a thoughtful present, and yes, I have to admit, it brought a tear to my eye and I collapsed into his arms crying with happiness. What have I done to deserve such a fabulous guy?

Am still alive!

2008-06-07T17:38:00.002+01:00

Thought I ought to say I am still alive, just a little too busy to post anything lately! I shall give a very quick and brief run down...
Work - Hectic as always
Man - Fantastic! Already seem very "couply"
Work - still hectic
Money - Brassic!
Work - hectic (you get the drift... I have been working ALOT)
Degree - On hold! My assignment is now coming up to being a month late. Bollocks.
Writing - Have written an article for Scarlett (women's version of Nuts/FHM but better!) which is strongly based around the threesome with Lou and Jen. Will possibly be published within the next couple of months! Woohoo!
Awards results - Got into the top 10 for a category in "The Best of Blogs" awards. But didn't win.
Been going out pretty much every weekend, so am currently contstantly knackered!
Hair - Gone blonde! (ish) Should be champagne blonde, but just looks more in between ginger and blonde (I am naturally a brunette) in the sun it is blonde. I figured it was about time my hair matched my personality/ditzyness. Tony was worried that I would start to act blonde... Hmmm, he obviously doesn't know me that well yet!
More to come when I get a chance to type it up!

Stuck in a rut...

2008-05-12T22:06:00.000+01:00

DOM phoned me today to say that none of the administrators were being offered an interview for the promotion. I apparently don’t have any management experience, despite having been an assistant manager and regional administrator! The only way to gain “field management” experience would be to go into our audit department, otherwise known as the most tedious and monotonous job in the world!
This means that if I want to gain a promotion I either need to move to Plymouth (an hour and a half away) and become Operations Manager or go into audit. Neither of which appeal in the slightest. In the Plymouth store, everyone has their own “clicky” groups, and not only that the other two administrators hate me. One of them was demoted after I had done a disastrous store visit last year and even now she is quite possible the laziest administrator I have ever met. The other doesn’t hate me, yet… but I am sure if I was to get the position above her it wouldn’t take too long for her to start! I also don’t particularly want to have to move down there as I have literally just gotten my feet back on the ground and love my house and housemate! Not only that, but it is so cheap, it’s perfect!
I also wouldn’t want to take the audit job as it would be such a lonely position, everyone is terrified of auditors and steers well clear of them when they turn up in store. I prefer being able to make friends within stores and to be able to make decent conversation and have a laugh with them. I’m not so sure that I would be able to check the exact same things day in day out.
Oh well, the right thing will come along eventually. There is also my degree to fall back on (once I have completed it that is!)

Another hectic day followed by a rather unexpected date!

2008-05-10T23:44:00.000+01:00

What a busy day! I have been non-stop all day and am shattered. For some stupid reason I woke up at 7 this morning, this is despite being woken up by mysterious voices on the landing a half two this morning. I didn’t recognize any of the voices but there were at least four people.
So at seven I was laid in bed and could hear the mystery people on the landing again. There were 2 guys and 2 girls from what I could make out, but I still hadn’t heard my housemate so I presumed she was in bed (and she was). I got up an hour later and got into the shower so that I would be reasonable to meet the mystery guests, however just as I was getting out of the shower I bumped into my housemates best friend on the landing who explained who had been staying over. She then dashed out of the door as these people were waiting for her in the car.
I ventured downstairs and soon wished I had stayed in bed… the kitchen was a mess! I found my last banana still partially in it’s skin, mashed into the leather sofa (thank God it’s wipe clean!) and there were numerous mugs and glasses scattered throughout the ground floor. I decided, as I was so awake and surprisingly refreshed, to tackle the kitchen as I figured my house mate would most likely be suffering this morning.
Once that was done, I went out into town and popped into work to send out an email. My manager took me into the back yard to show me what they had done in the morning brief. Dan is well known for being on the chubby side and he enjoys his food, a lot. So this morning, using the giant boxes from a delivery they created Dave’s lunch box and his English breakfast. It was all expertly drawn out including the oversized cutlery! I couldn’t stop laughing and realised that my car park ticket would run out soon and I still had lots to do.
I managed to get my tent for the festival I am going to later in the year (I had also arranged to go camping on the next bank holiday so had to get it sooner rather than later!). I got myself a 3 man tent with a porch, nice and spacious! I then went off to the “cheap” opticians round the corner armed with my prescription and NHS voucher to try to find some sunglasses. Nearly an hour later, I finally settled on a pair and quickly put the payment of £105 down before I changed my mind again and hurried out of the door almost able to hear my bank balance screaming at me.
I then ventured to the local Asda. I usually go to Morrisons, but decided as I am trying to save as much money as possible I ought to go to the “cheaper” supermarket. It did not work out cheaper. I ended up spending an extra £20 on my weekly food shop! I still haven’t worked out how yet!
When I got back home, I went out to help my housemate weed the garden. We have a 10 foot square mud patch which we were going to have seeded ready for the summer so that we can have a bit of grass to brighten the garden up. We were out there for nearly four hours and by the end of it my back started to itch. I knew what that meant, I had burnt my back. It was brighter than a tomato! But was in a perfect square from my vest top, it wasn’t the other side of the straps, just this perfect square of red!
Whilst I was eating my lunch, Mo noticed that she had a voicemail on her phone from her clinically depressed friend. She instantly worried as he never calls her and not only that, but he had a relapse recently. She phoned him back immediately and started asking him if he was ok and then I could hear her saying “I think so, yeah I will tell her, I reckon she would be ok with it.” I just presumed they were talking about one of their friends, but no, it turned out it was me!
He had seen me in some of Mo’s photos online and thought I looked nice and was enquiring as to whether I was single and what I was like as a person. It made my day, I actually had a single man that was interested in me! Mo gave me his number and I text him saying “Hi, how you doing? Mo said that you saw my photo on Face Book and were interested. Kel x”
He soon replied saying that he was ok and did I want to go out for a drink on Monday, I figured Monday would be bad as there is practically no one that would be out and could possible be really awkward on a blind date, so I suggested tonight. He was also free so we arranged it, we would have a blind date tonight at 8pm, he would come to mine and we would walk into town and go to a bar I know.
I jumped into the shower and started to wonder what to wear, my housemate was out, so I was completely alone on the fashion front! I attempted to curl my hair so I could be different for once, but as usual my hair was being stubborn, so it ended up being wavy.
He arrived on time and phoned me on the house phone to double check which house it was as they all look the same along my road! We walked into town and went into the bar I knew would be quiet and easy to talk in. It is also possibly the only bar in town which has some class and sophistication!
When I walked through the door and approached the bar my stomach flipped, two of Mo’s friends were sat at the bar and Craig pipes up “Hiya, so is this your other half?” “Not yet” I muttered and then went off into a quiet corner with Tony. I noticed them looking over every so often and then Mo’s boyfriend came and sat with them, so I had all 3 guys staring over constantly. How off putting!
We were getting on really well and seem to have plenty in common, we both listen to the same sort of music and are both training for the same qualification in accounting! He has even offered to help me out with the part of my course I am stuck on. Always handy to know people! Later on, when I got fed up with the staring from the guys, I suggested that we move onto a different bar, so off we went, however the only other place I knew would be “quiet” had their music pumped right up to the max! It made it rather difficult but we managed. Conversation soon turned to sport and he was amazed that I will happily sit and watch the football. After a while we headed back to my house and on the walk home he told me that he is not the sort of person who enjoys going out clubbing, which meant we had another thing in common!
I didn’t want to have to tell him about my operations as whenever I have told people that I am still recovering in the past, they suddenly treat me so differently and try to do everything for me, which at times can be nice, but not all the time! Unfortunately he was speed walking, so I had to tell him I had to take it steady with walking. It was my first time walking into town without crutches too. I told him the whole story about my legs and he looked pretty shocked and yes, at first he tried to treat me differently and every 5 minutes on the walk home he would slow down and apologise!
When we got home we bumped into my housemate and her best friend who both know Tony, so they were trying to find out from us how it went and were having a general catch up with him in the street. Once they had gone, I invited him in for a drink in the hope that he would make some kind of move on me, but no, he went and sat on the sofa opposite me. I realised that he was a little shy around new women. I paused on the doorstep when he left, almost urging him to lean forward and give me a goodnight kiss, but again his shyness got the better of him and he rushed across the road to his car. He did however, say that he had a good night and would like to meet up again.
There is hope yet!

May the best admin win!

2008-05-08T20:33:00.000+01:00

A week ago my divisional manager (DOM) was in my store. I decided to be a little cheeky and try to find out some gossip form her. One of our regional managers had done a disappearing act a couple of weeks ago and then put up on Face Book that he had officially left the business. I found out that eh had sent his resignation direct to head office rather than informing the other regional manager and divisional managers like he was supposed to.
I then piped up and asked if there was going to be a vacancy for his job and whether I would stand a chance of getting it. She said that I certainly have the ability and was making it sound as if I would walk it. I also mentioned about being off for 9 months and only recently having returned, her response was promising, “I had only been back from maternity leave for a couple of weeks before being promoted to divisional manager.” That filled me with confidence!
I decided to stay quiet about applying for the position, partially so that I would have a better chance at getting the promotion, and also to save the embarrassment if I didn’t get it. My regional manager and store manager were the only 2 people within the company to know (and DOM of course). However, somehow Sarah (another administrator) had found out.
She phoned me this evening asking me questions which I didn’t particularly want to answer as she would have been my biggest threat for the job. She told me that a couple of senior auditors had also gone for it and that she was applying tomorrow. Great. Just what I wanted to hear.
I know that she is a great administrator, I trained her myself when she had returned from maternity leave a couple of years ago and used to work along side her back in my home town. She had also taken on most of my regional work when I went off sick. The only thing I was really worried about with being up against Sarah, is that she has the confidence. I have never known anyone who shone with confidence like she does, if she has a problem with someone or something, she won’t leave it, she will say something until it is resolved. I hate to say it, but she would be great for the job.
Now is for the waiting game, closing date for applications is close of business tomorrow, so fingers crossed it won’t be too long.

999 - Helicopter now please!

2008-05-04T11:17:00.000+01:00

Went on a magical mystery tour… drove back to my home town to visit some of the family and decided to go across country. I knew that you turn right half way through one of the small towns so I was going slowly and looking out for the signs… I saw no sign and ended up in a completely different town and added 20 minutes to my journey rather than taking off the same amount of time.
On the way back home I came across an accident… a woman flagged me down and I could see a group of motor cyclists in the ditch (I was driving across the moors and the ditches are 5 feet full of stagnant water). I leapt out of my car and instantly slipped back into my old volunteer role of paramedic, I used to work part time on the St John’s ambulance team and attended a few RTAs (Road Traffic Accidents and yes, I know they have a different term nowadays). The guys were just pulling their friend out of the ditch and as soon as they laid him onto the road he came back to life and began thrashing violently around trying to get up. A couple of the guys tried to hold him down and the injured man began swearing and punching at them.
We just about managed to calm him enough to allow me to do the top to toe checks (checking for any obvious broken bones) which showed he had a clean break on one leg. It took a lot of persuading to stop his friends from removing his helmet which could have caused a whole heap of problems and I slowly and steadily lifted the visor to check his eyes. I instantly saw that one pupil was dilated and the other was shot to pieces, the entire coloured part of the eye was black and the white of the eye was red. I knew exactly what it was… A head trauma, and a bad one at that!
When the guys had called for an ambulance, we were told it would be between 15 and 20 minutes before it arrived at the scene, but I knew that he probably didn’t have that time to waste as when they arrive they would have to check him over, load him into the back and then there would be the drive to hospital with limited supplies. I dialled 999 and demanded the air ambulance. The woman on the phone kept on saying “I am sure he will be ok to wait for the requested ambulance”, I couldn’t believe her response! I soon launched into all the old jargon that we had to use and requested a particular helicopter which I knew used to be in the area and then she realised I was being serious. Ten minutes later, the helicopter arrived, closely followed by the ambulance. All the paramedics agreed that the local hospitals didn’t have the necessary equipment this guy needed to keep him alive and next thing we knew he was being air lifted to the main Brain Injury unit for the South West.
After all of that, the police spoke to me and said that I would need to pop into the station to give a statement (not that I even saw anything!). So off I went back home to clean myself up and try to get the smell of ditches out of my skin and hair. It was a pure coincidence that it was the right time to get to my churches evening service, so I made my way over there and had everyone pray for the guy I had helped just a few hours before.
What a day.

2008-05-04T02:11:00.000+01:00

This week Lou and I had arranged for him to come over tonight as my housemate would be out for the night. I figured it was about time to enjoy the new house fully and not have to worry about how noisy I could/couldn’t be! Earlier this evening however Lou text me to say that he wouldn’t be able to make it over which ended up turning into a big row (all via text of course). Not my dryness… I hate text talk!
Lou - “Heya huni. Im at Gaz’s then going to Brad’s. I won’t be able 2 make it 2nite how bout tom or mon?”
Me - “Can you not forget about Brad for tonight? Its not often I get the house to myself.”
Lou - “I cnt its bits I owe him and muney, I will text you when I’ve bin to his, it would be a real quickie and I don’t like it as its much nicer not to rush”
Me - “Just be quick at his. Simple”
Lou - “Did you want me to cum over even if its literally 2 mins and a quick squirt?”
Me - “Be nice, but I deserve better than that Lou. Im sure you could stretch to at least half an hour?”
Lou - “That’s wot I mean, dnt 4get im doin 12 hours packd out”
Me - “I know, you remind everyone constantly! You coming over then?”
Lou - “Lol! Its so hard going. I really want 2, I will txt u if I can.”
Me - “So you’re still not sure?!”
Lou - “Not yet, Im still wheelin and dealin Del boy style!”
Me - “Oh dear! Well hurry up!”
Lou - “Don’t 4get its 20mins each way and im up at 630 for another mulerin! If not tonight it will be in nxt day or so”
Me - “I won’t be happy… I want to be able to scream and not worry about housemates!”
Half an hour later he was still texting me saying that he was still over with Gaz but his messages were getting even more flirtatious and horny. I was stood in the kitchen making a jacket potato when I had another message saying “It’s me.” I was rather confused as I hadn’t even heard the door, so I crept out and he scooped me up in a tight embrace and pulled me into the lounge.
We stood chatting about the day for a minute before heading upstairs to my room. I was rather relieved that my housemate had gone out for the night as I had forgotten about the overly creaky stairs. He knew that I was still frustrated with him and how I was being treated. I even made a big thing about it to his face…. That is really not normal for me so it was obvious that it had gotten to me big time. We laid in bed cuddling with him gently caressing my back telling me that no matter what happened he would be there for me.
I knew straight away that he was referring to getting me pregnant, I rolled over and whispered to him that I won’t be getting pregnant until he was single. “I may be single by the morning” and said that he would stay the night just to be with me. I have to say he certainly has the charm with the ladies!
He soon began slipping his hands in between my legs and I was instantly turned on. I went on top, despite the state of my knees! We went slow to start then sped up and kept going until I came with immense force. I felt onto of the world. “Thought you said you don’t give golden showers?” He growled as he flipped me onto my back and started to speed up going deeper and deeper. I orgasmed over and over again and couldn’t even begin to speak to tell him that it was just me coming hard that he felt! He seemed to enjoy the thought and feeling and continued to pound deep in me.
A couple hours later we were laid back cuddling together enjoying the post coital warmth between us just talking quietly. We were just saying that it was surprising how Jen hadn’t tried to call him yet when his phone started. It was 2 in the morning and we had agreed that Lou would stay at my house so that we could spend a proper night together for once. We even discussed the excuse he would use, that he had been drinking over at a friends house and fell asleep on the sofa. Shockingly she didn’t fall for it. We knew that she would be pissed off with him, come one, name me a wife who would be happy for her husband to spontaneously stay at a friends house and drink (he doesn’t usually drink much).
What we hadn’t thought of was the reaction she came out with… “Get home now.” Pure and simple, she wasn’t happy, no, she was fuming. Despite him telling her that he had drunk at least 5 cans of beer, she demanded that he get in the car and drive home. This is after all that we went through with my ex husband and his drink driving habit. He was banned from driving because of drink driving when we first met and vowed he would never do it again. Just 2 months after getting his license back he was doing it again, with kids in the car.
So at 2am, Lou skulked back home. One day we will actually be able to spend an entire night together, maybe.

Revenge is sweet... for some

2008-04-27T11:53:00.000+01:00

Either my housemate is trying to get revenge on me for shagging too noisily the other night or she is just as filthy as I am!
When we went out Friday night, she pulled a guy… Yes he was hot! I certainly would anyway, but then again I would with most right now! Got to enjoy life to the full!
Last night she went out again whilst I stayed at home recovering from last nights antics. I went up to bed before she got home and when I went into the bathroom this morning, I noticed that the toilet seat was up, meaning she either had a guy over for the night or was sick during the night. I ended up believing the first choice.
When I returned home from church (yes, I try to be a Bible basher occasionally) she was out. She got home an hour after I did and was rushing around like a lunatic trying to get ready for something. She then disappeared for the rest of the afternoon and evening. When she returned home later that evening, I heard the front door click shut and heard a couple of voices in the hallway. Mo soon appeared in the doorway to the lounge and said “You remember Ewan from the other night?” And he sheepishly entered the room.
After chatting for five minutes, I got back to my film and they both disappeared upstairs where they have remained since.
I am now writing this laid in bed hearing her bed creaking and his balls slapping against her arse (she really needs to learn to shut her door!). I wouldn’t have minded so much if I could get some action that easily! She certainly has the looks. I have to admit though, my slightly evil side got the better of me and I couldn’t help but chuckle when I heard the cat happily wonder into her room to join them and soon retreat again!
Finally, sounds like they have finished. I really ought to get some sleep now, but feel far too frisky! Damn them! Let’s just hope they don’t go for round two! Time for me to open a fresh pack of batteries…

Exploring the new towns nightlife... Hmmm

2008-04-25T22:55:00.001+01:00

Went out with my housemate and her friends, got drunk, tried pretty much all the town centre places. Stayed in Remedies got more drunk, met a couple guys…. 1 had big sex appeal, very nice… Mo (my housemate) pulled him.
Mo’s friends all seem ok… very two faced but ok otherwise! One of them was obviously rather drunk when I arrived and wouldn’t stop talking all night. Apparently she usually gets like that and gets all serious on you. Great fun… Not.
As always I managed to attract a fight and got kicked in the leg… right where the break is. Ouch. Left Remedies to go to the only proper nightclub which was reopening tonight… Too much pain so left the others to go in without me and hobbled/stumbled home! Taken pain killers after drinking, now feel yucky!

2008-04-24T22:49:00.000+01:00

Oh dear, I have been a naughty girl again. Lou came over again. We sat down stairs catching up and chatting, he had been away for a week with the family and Barry and Phillis (Jen’s mum and step dad). Lou managed to get badly sunburnt on the first day, but still looked ridiculously tanned which he soon pointed out I looked blue next to him (I am naturally pale anyway!). I was not amused!
My housemate was in the shower when he arrived and was getting an early night which was a shame as Lou used to work with her years ago and wanted to see her. Her going to bed early also made it very awkward for us… It is impossible to sneak up our stairs, they creak more than an old lady trying to get out of her rocking chair!
We began to creep up the stairs and Lou ended up laughing all the way upstairs despite me trying to keep him quiet! I really don’t want to get a reputation with my housemate of being a sex mad woman who is quite happy to see a married man… Hmmm, think I’ve blown that one!
We got into my room and barricaded the door in case the cat decided to break in and spoil our fun. Unfortunately it wasn’t the cat who stopped short or night of passion… It was Lou getting far too carried away! So damn frustrating! I made it very clear to him that I wasn’t amused.

Sod's law!

2008-04-23T22:08:00.000+01:00

Bloody typical. I have just heard that the admin manager of the Taunton store handed in her notice yesterday. Place your bets now on how long it will be until the store manager and my regional manager will take to call me and demand that I transfer. Personally, I reckon it will be a matter of hours.
They will have another thing coming if they expect me to transfer over to that store. Yes, I used to want it, when I was still talking to my ex and living in Taunton, however now… I fear for my safety in that town. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near there on my own, not a chance! I dread to think what he would do to me if he was to see me, especially on my own. It scares the pants off me! And I shall tell my regional manager exactly that.
I would rather walk out of my regional management role and take a job on the checkouts in Tesco rather than transfer to Taunton! They shall have to suffer without me!

Bizarre... Nothing more to say other than bizarre

2008-04-22T21:49:00.002+01:00

Finally, my housemate has now returned from her holidays and is staying put for a while! She spent a week in Abu Dhabi, came home for one night and then flew out again for a week in Cyprus! And she has come back horribly tanned… Bitch! Any way, back to reality for her and let “normality” commence.
I may actually be able to start my new single life as of this weekend. Mo (my house mate) has invited me to a bar in town Friday night…. With her friends. I haven’t been out in a group for weeks, oh dear, come to think of it, it’s been months! I don’t think I can call myself a 21 year old single woman…. I swear I am more like a 40 year old! Such a boring life I lead, oh well, things will change! I wonder if I can actually pull off a social life?! It shall certainly be an interesting night.

The past couple of nights I have had some pretty bizarre dreams involving my soon to be ex husband. The first of these took place over a weekend… The Friday night (for some bizarre unknown reason) I appeared to have gotten back together with him and was staying back at our old flat in his bed… with him. Not a nice image from what I remember. The next morning he got violent towards me, in front of his 7 year old son (who looked horrified), also not a nice thing from what I recall. That evening I escaped (again!).
Then last night was an even more bizarre dream! The strangest part of it was the car I owned… It was a white Peugeot estate, a very old rust bucket version! Believe me, I have some class when it comes to cars and being a dream I would have hoped my car would have been a Lamborghini (or something in a similar price range!). Anyhow, back to the dream… I was walking down the street to where my white rust bucket was waiting to discover it had a flat tyre. Obviously as it was such a wonderful car (please note - SARCASM!) and I was very distressed with the flat tyre. A man approached me from behind and put his hand firmly on my shoulder, “Hey honey, it will all be ok, I can get you to a garage and we’ll have this sorted for free.”
I looked round to see Dale’s face just inches from mine and I felt my heart stop. I glimpsed down and saw Jonathon (his son) stood looking up at me, he looked so pale and different to how I remember him. “Mummy, just get in the car, Daddy knows a someone who sells tyres.” As usual I fell for Jonathon’s big puppy dog eyes and felt guilty for leaving. Dale’s hand remained on my shoulder and next thing I know he is pushing me into the back seat of the car. He shuts the door and both Dale and Jonathon jump into the front seats of the car and we speed off. Fear soon take hold of me and as the car slows to go around a corner I open the door and jump. Despite still recovering from a broken leg, I jump from a moving car!
Then I woke up to hear my housemate getting home! I told you it was bizarre, but terrifyingly, I believe that he could potentially do. All though I certainly would never ever have a car like that!

I need a distraction... Lou should be back from holiday in a couple of days, I think sex might just about do it.

2008-04-19T15:25:00.001+01:00

Shit. Everything has just dawned on me. I am very much alone, living in a new town where I only know a handful of people through work, and I’m not even that close to them. Not only that, but I am seeing a married man who is currently on holiday with his wife and kids. I am a horrible person! I know I should stop it, but the sex is just too good and always leaves me wanting more! Damn him!
My housemate is away for a few more days, meaning the house is still empty with just me rattling around in it. At least I don’t need to worry about whether she can hear my vibes or not! It’s not fair, I have had plenty of offers for this week, however all the guys are generally a couple of hours away from me! Sods law! Why can’t there be any decent single guys near home? Preferably that have their own place. Nothing worse than screaming out only to find afterwards on your way out that he has a housemate who has just heard everything!
I have to admit though, I am rather glad that I didn’t rent a house on my own… I get too lonely! Roll on Monday when my housemate gets home.

Nother fine and awkward situation!

2008-04-15T21:50:00.001+01:00

What a bizarre day yesterday was! These things can only happen to me... I was working alongside my regional manager again and the regions HR manager. It was the first time I had ever met him and boy was it weird! He has the most amazing sexy phone voice, seriously, I could happily orgasm listening to him discuss the latest staff disciplinaries! But as usual, he is nothing compared to his voice! I had to do a double take when he introduced himself. I walked into the back office and presumed that he was a low performing sales consultant waiting to be investigated, but no, the greasy haired guy stood in front of me opened his mouth and I knew the voice… “Hi I’m James, finally we meet!” Hmmm, bang goes all my phone fantasies with him! And for once, bang is not meant in a good way.

Later in the day whilst I was rushing around like a woman possessed, attempting and failing to get as much work done as possible whilst using 3 phones at the same time; the 2 regional staff decided that I had to watch a film clip they had on one of the laptops… They both knew just how dirty my mind can be at times, so obviously when the guy doing a speech in the film says “guys, you just need a couple extra inches”, they both looked straight at me smirking. “Bet you prefer an extra few inches Kel” said my regional manager. After that, how the hell was I supposed to take him seriously?!
About half an hour later, the HR guy was asking me some HR related questions to complete my new payroll account. One of the questions was “Do you have any upper limb disorders?” I put on my cheekiest smile and replied “Only being double jointed”, both of them looked over, their eyes wide… “Come on, lets see it then.” said my regional manager.
I instantly flicked my arms around and clapped my elbows in front of my chest, meaning my cleavage went even more extreme than usual, I thought their eyes were going to pop out of their heads! “Where else are you double jointed then Kelly?” Regional manager asked, starting to shift about in his seat.
“Well, let’s put it this way, I used to show people what to do in auditions for the Circus of Horrors. And I can fit in a bottle the same size as a demi-john.” (A demi-john is a large bottle often used in home brewing).
“Can you fit in that tote?” “Yes”, they both nodded in approval and looked pretty impressed. I am never going to be able to look them both in the eye again! Not only that, how on earth am I ever going to be able to remain professional when assisting with investigations and disciplinary hearings?!

Just another day then!

2008-04-10T21:46:00.000+01:00

Yet again another hectic day at work. I had a phone call from my regional manager before 8am demanding to know why I wasn’t in Taunton. Taunton manager phoned the Sasha (the old administrator) telling her that she had to be in store despite being her day off. Sasha said how she already had plans to spend the day with her dying grandmother… Taunton manager simply said “Change them”. What a bitch. This is one of the reasons I don’t want to work with her.
I finally agreed that I would stay in my own store for today and go to Taunton tomorrow. This should be fun… Not.
As always, work started off slow, however come lunchtime I was chocker with work. My regional manager decided that lunchtime would be the ideal time to call every manager in the region and gather some information which should ideally be collated first thing in the morning. I had to forewarn the managers that there would be a conference call for any sales staff who do not meet their target of customers seen/sat down. Obviously when you work in a very busy national chain of telecom stores, that is not exactly an easy task!
I also ended up speaking to Dec in the Plymouth store regarding customer issues. This was a guy who I ended up flirting outrageously with a few months ago, despite him having a girlfriend who also works in the same company. We continued our flirting and when I asked him for a small work related favour, he soon responded via email “what do I get in return.” I stupidly mentioned that I would be in Plymouth for a weekend soon… Uh oh.

The Kelly Tug-of-war

2008-04-09T23:59:00.000+01:00

I was booked in due to go to the Taunton store tomorrow and Friday… My manager didn’t want me to go. I had been away from my own store for nine months (due to my leg) and they were refused any admin support, so it was understandable that when Taunton requested my assistance for a couple of days, he didn’t want me to go. I was also pretty pissed off with the idea.
My manager had said to me earlier in the week that I wasn’t going to the other store and he had agreed that with one of the regional managers who said that I need to focus on my own store for a while. I was happy with that suggestion and completely agreed! So I thought nothing of it until the manager of Taunton called me at 6pm to arrange where to pick me up from. I explained to her that I needed to stay in my own store and that the second in command of the region wanted me in my own store also.
However, she was having none of it and demanded that I work in her store for the following two days. I gave up and agreed.
At about half eleven at night I had a message come through from the Taunton manager saying “Lets forget about the next couple of days. Too many knickers getting twisted about it. I can’t be bothered. Thanks anyway.”

And again...

2008-04-08T23:59:00.000+01:00

Lou came around again tonight. He was dropping Jenny’s step dad off at work, which happens to be just around the corner from my house. So he made the most of the opportunity and came round. This time my creepy house mate was out for the evening so we were able to be loud and passionate. And my God was it good!

Oops I did it again!

2008-04-07T23:54:00.000+01:00

Lou came round and saw my new house today… Was typical that my creepy house mate decided that this evening would be the best day to stay downstairs. When Lou arrived, we sat in the lounge cuddled up watching TV and chatting for an hour or so. I ended up getting fed up and suggested we headed upstairs. I really didn’t want to give the wrong impression to my housemate… I’m in a new town and don’t want a reputation! Oh well, too late for that!
We fucked long and hard, in every physically possible position trying desperately to stay quiet. But all I wanted to do was scream out with pleasure. However all I could think about was my creepy housemate sat downstairs or worse, in his room, listening to me fucking a married man.
Whilst Lou was still here, he asked what my other house mate looked like as she was the “permanent housemate”. I told him that she was hot, and yes I would. Lou knew my taste in women and it is very similar to his own preference. I showed him a picture of her online… as he squinted at the screen you could almost see the little light bulb go of in his head… “I know her! She used to be a waitress at the pub I cheffed at!” Small world hey?
As Lou was leaving he whispered in my ear “We can do this more often now you’re nearer to me.”
It was only when Lou left that my housemate actually went out for the evening. Sods law!

Back to work, new house, Back to life!

2008-04-05T16:42:00.002+01:00

What a couple of days. At the beginning of the week, all I seemed to do was pack, move house and unpack. And there is still more to move! It’s never ending!!!
I returned to work on Thursday after 9 months off in total (not including the 3 weeks I did part time in October). I was working in the Yeovil store for a couple of days with Sarah training me and showing me all of the different things which had changed over the months, which was most of it! My regional manager was working in the same store as me on the Thursday. The first thing he said as I hobbled through the door? “Hi Kelly, welcome back, you look like shit!”
Thanks for that boss! As you may be able to guess, I was ill, very ill! I had literally gotten flu like symptoms the day before and could barely stand up right with out losing my balance. I just hope that he has some respect for me now after seeing that I had dragged myself in for my first day back whilst being rather ill! He said to me, that for the first week back, he would let me take it easy so that I could ease myself back into the business gently… That promise lasted all of one day!
On the Friday I got into work to continue shadowing Sarah and to try out the new stock system. At lunch time she had to finish up and go home as she had a funeral to attend, so I said I would stay and take charge of her store for the afternoon. Would be a good practice run for me before being let loose in my own store again! Like I said, it’s been a while since I had run a store! I had planned to have a quiet afternoon planning for my own store the following week and auditing the store to learn all of the 2008 changes I had missed hearing about.
My plans soon changed. The minute Sarah left the store I was busy. Firstly was a “small job” my regional manager had asked me to do involving me calling each of the managers to confirm review dates which I began quickly. It took much longer than normal though as everyone wanted to catch up with me and hear the entire saga of my leg and how the recovery was going. It would appear that none of them thought I would actually return to work as many people who go onto long term sick leave simply vanish from the company! Oh well, I have changed that trend!
My regional manager then sent me another “small job” via email, meaning that again I had to call each of the store managers to inform them of a new regional policy for each of the sales team to complete and pass an e-learning quiz. They then had to fax me the individuals certificate which would mean a barrage of faxes (approximately 100 for the region), that will be fun to print each and check that I have everyone’s! Not!
As I got half way through calling the region for the second time that day, I checked my own stores email to see a message from the second in command of the region… “Hi Kelly, welcome back. Can you give me a bell when you get a minute?”
I knew exactly what that meant… He had a job for me to do. What joy. I called the store he was in for the day and yes, I was right, he did want me to do a job for him… Call all of the managers! Great, I was calling them all for the third time in one day! It was getting ridiculous, they all knew my voice by this point, I didn’t even need to say “It’s Kelly… Again”. Half of the managers didn’t know about the payments my phone call was regarding. One of them, nobody could get hold of which was a slight problem as the payment he was receiving had to be in the store by close of business Friday… The day I was calling on!
I had several other phone calls to make for the day, meaning the audit I had started on Sarah’s store kind of got pushed back slightly… I managed to complete one out 6 sections and began 2 other sections rather than completing the majority of it! I ended up being completely chocker with work right up until half six when I left!
After leaving work, I got back to my mum’s house to throw some more stuff in my car to take to the new house. I was exhausted so didn’t really hang around much and still had to stop off at the supermarket to pick up some fresh food for the weekend. By the time I got in it was nearly 8pm and I was shattered! I unloaded the car and put everything to one side to be unpacked the following day then just sat and chilled out. I couldn’t be bothered with trying to figure out the oven for the night, so I cheated and micro waved a lasagne! I know, home made is better… but hey, I had just moved in!

A very pricey weekend (part 2) - My laptop!

2008-04-01T07:41:00.000+01:00

Whilst all of these costs were mounting, I had realised that my beautiful little laptop has a virus. Whoopdy friggin do! I received an MSN message from my best friend saying “Is this really you?” and had a hyperlink underneath. So of course I clicked and waited for it to load, but no, it started to download something which I presumed was just the photo software.
The laptop ended up freezing and started to open and close different windows. However I didn’t think too much of it. I called my best friend, Leah, and asked her what the picture was of. All I could think of was that Dale had possibly put some rather dodgy pictures of me on line. I wouldn’t put it past him.
She was pretty baffled when I started quizzing her about the photo she had tried to send. She knew nothing and then realized that she had been sent an identical message and her (well her boyfriend’s) computer had been playing up and freezing since. So it turned out that she had not sent the message and it was automatically sent to EVERYONE in her contacts list.
I instantly installed my antivirus software which only seemed to take a few minutes to load on. I scanned the system for any kind of virus and the scan came back clear, nothing to be concerned about then I though, so I continued as normal.
A couple of hours later I was getting fed up with how slow my laptop had become and ran another virus check. Again nothing, however a pop up appeared offering me free anti spy ware software which I downloaded. Whether that was a good thing or not, I still don’t know! Once it finished downloading, I ran a check using it. 17 viruses/spy ware/ad ware found. Oh no, hold on, it then updated and found 25! I was able to write down a few of the different names and what they do before that programme froze and crashed the system. There were some which downloaded hardcore porn to your hard-drive, how disappointing, I haven’t seen any! There were also a lot of the “dialler” things which attempt to call high cost numbers through your phone line! Some which slowly wipe your hard drive and a handful of spy ware viruses which record your every move online including keystrokes, this is how they can hack into your bank accounts online. Scary stuff really.
Later I received a message from Paypal saying that some one had been trying to hack into my account and they gave me the IP address and user name of the person who happened to be from Cambridge University. Very bizarre. I ended up phoning Paypal direct to find out if there really had been any suspicious activity on my account. I don’t usually worry about those emails as I know that they are mostly scams, however with the threat of having Spy ware on my laptop watching my every keystroke, I was getting paranoid. They said that nobody had tried to login to my account for weeks and certainly was not suspended. Hmm, scam email then.
As the day went on, it all got worse. I attempted to open the folder in which I keep all of my articles and another copy of my blog (I type it before posting online), however it began to open and then froze. I couldn’t do anything except for powering off and restarting the laptop. I tried again with the same folder only to receive the same crashed status. When I restarted for the third time, I tried opening another folder, crashed. Then I tried to get into the control panel but again CRASHED!
I was getting really edgy by this point as my anti virus still hadn’t alerted me to the virus’ on my system. Mum suggested a trip to PC World, however all I could think about was my mounting costs before I had even begun my life in my new house! So I tried calling their helpline first, I figured that would be cheaper than going down there and having someone look at it and this was I could also find out hwo much it would cost me!
The robot answered the phone “Welcome to PC World help desk please listen carefully to the following options and select using your keypad… Press 1 if you have already purchased a computer from us… Press 2 if you intend on making a purchase” I hit number 1, I hadn’t bought it from them, but it would do! “If you have a PC query press 1, press 2 for internet queries, press 3 for laptops…” 3! Wow, so far so good, I knew I would get through to a person eventually that I could divulge all my laptop woes to so I remained positive and stuck with the robot… “Thank you, press 1 for wireless queries, press 2 for general technical support…” 2, “Press 1 for HP, Press 2 for Dell, Press 3 for Compaq…. Press 7 for Sony Vaio” “Hoorah! Finally I hit the 7, “If you have a query regarding your Sony Vaio laptop please call Sony’s support desk on….” I felt like screaming and threw the phone down in a rage. I glimpsed up at mum and simply said “lets go then.” I was fuming!
We got into the store just before their closing time and joined the long queue for “The Tech Guys”. I had some lanky, geeky guy serve me and he looked at my laptop. He switched it on and tried to open a folder as I suggested. I panicked when I saw that he was trying to open my blogging folder, Christ, knowing my luck it would open and before you know it my somewhat sexually explicit writing would be in full view of everyone, including my MOTHER! Eek! Thankfully, the virus got to work and froze the laptop. He ran a virus check on it whilst it was in safe mode. He explained that it would help to wipe the main virus off but wouldn’t actually show as having a virus due to being in safe mode. Right-o mate, that would be why it has just flagged up 2 viruses then?!
I wanted them to do a complete system restore for me, as I am not exactly technologically minded and would more than likely cock it up and lose everything including the book which I have nearly finished writing! However if I was to give it to them, I would be without my pride and joy for 4 days! Four days people! Do you know what that would do to someone who has nothing to do, other than computer work all day?! I do and believe me, it would not be pretty!
He told me how to restore it and save my work safely (ie without the virus attaching itself to my disks) which I got onto back at home. Shame his idea of saving to disk whilst being in safe mode didn’t work. It turns out that you can use the CD drive, however any additional functions, such as CD writers, will not work! So I decided to take the plunge and risk infecting it all over again by saving whilst out of safe mode.
Once all of my work and photos (that I could think of) had been saved, I hit F10, the factory reset switch. I held my breath as it all clunked and whirred back into life. I was doing the dreaded laptop CPR. I felt as if my baby was dying, and I certainly wasn’t going to let it go without a damn good fight!
I left it re-installing Windows for the afternoon whilst I went over to my new house to meet up with my shiny new housemate!
I explained to her what was happening with my laptop and told her that it would be fine and clean again before I brought it over to the house to join her network and risk infecting her computer too. I just hoped and prayed that I was telling the truth. She took the news well and wished me luck with restoring the system. We seemed to hit it off and seemed more like old friends than two people meeting properly for the first time. All in all it was a rather pleasant afternoon sat in the local coffee house.
On arriving back at my mum’s house, I checked my laptop to see that Window’s had restored it self with no major issues and that it was back to how it was when I first bought it. So I happily started to download all of the necessary bits and bobs that I used to have on there. It took me all of Sunday to save all my favorite web pages again! And that was after missing half of them off!

The pricey weekend (part one!) - MY CAR!

2008-03-31T23:12:00.002+01:00

Well, what a weekend… Haven’t a clue where to even start other than it was a pretty pricey weekend and I didn’t even go anywhere!

I shall start with Friday. As soon as mum returned home from work she got into my car and reversed it out of the garage. Surprisingly it started first time after being left in storage for the past nine months. I got in with her and we drove off to the local Ford dealership where it was booked in for the MOT. We left my car there overnight to have all of the necessary work done to get it back on the road and through the dreaded MOT! I left them with a new wing mirror to be fixed onto the car (a lovely Cornish thug kicked it off last year on my last regional trip!) and knew that a part of the suspension needed replacing, so I was preparing myself for it to cost approximately £300. I could handle that, that money was put aside in my savings account.
However I was soon proved wrong. The dealership called me later in the afternoon whilst I was on the phone to Paypal, but that’s another story! They called to explain that both sides of the suspension needed replacing and the “front nearside mount” whatever one of those is. It also apparently needs 3 new tyres and there is a crack in the coolant tank, strange that I never saw a damp patch in the garage.

I said to only do the urgent work to get it through the MOT and the cost soon mounted to £380!!! And I still needed to get the tyres and coolant issue sorted! Oh and the tax. Ouch!

Believe me, there is much more still to come... However I am too tired and stressed out, so I shall save it till tomorrow!

And the Nominees Are...

2008-03-25T18:36:00.001Z

On another note, I have found out today that I have been nominated for the best of the blogs awards! Make a note in your diaries, voting starts 14th April! I have never won anything before, and it feels a privilege just to have been nominated! Considering that I am writing all of this anonymously, it will be somewhat a struggle to get many votes, so I am relying on you lot! Go on, give me a bit of a moral boost! Please? Maybe just a little one?
Right, now back to the books!

The book worm (attempt)

2008-03-25T16:30:00.002Z

Oh my God, I am actually sat in a library doing work for the first time since I dropped out of college (five long years ago!)! And I have to say, I don’t like it! People are blatantly not being quiet like you are supposed to be and I am to busy watching what everyone else is doing and making sure they don’t invade my personal space! And not only that but it smells! It is vile and is actually making me feel rather ill!
When I walked into the library, I asked the man on the front counter if it was ok to use my laptop in here and he was quite helpful and whispered “Yes but you need to go to the next floor and use a study booth, you can’t get the internet in here though”. I followed his advice and headed over to the old rusty lift and entered the little box of doom. It slowly moved upwards creaking and groaning all the way and then stopped. I waited nearly half a minute for the door to open, but when you are claustrophobic it seemed like a lifetime.
I edged my way out and glimpsed around for a free booth only to discover that there were no booths what-so-ever! I headed towards the computer area and found an empty table surrounded by shelves where I have remained since. I have only been here 10 minutes and I feel ill. I want to go home but have to wait an hour for a lift from my mother! Damn it!

And Relax, Phew!

2008-03-23T13:57:00.001Z

Well, the great Southern house hunt is officially over! I viewed two properties yesterday, one in a rather prestigious part of the town I work in and the other just off the town centre.
The first one I viewed was a no as soon as I stepped in the door. The hallway was laminated but very uneven. You felt as if you were drunk walking through there! The single 40 year old male landlord (and potential housemate) showed us upstairs to the room, it was awful. The room had absolutely no character, was cold and had mysterious Chinese symbols around the door and window. I certainly didn’t feel comfortable in there and not only that but it had a single bed! How would I explain that to someone I take home?!
The man then went on to explain that his 16 year old son usually stays over a couple of times a week, hm, yeah that’ll be a no then! And just to make matters worse, he was a musician and admitted to getting most of his inspiration to compose at ridiculous times in the morning! We then saw the kitchen. Let’s just put it this way, all council houses have nicer kitchen standards than that! All I wanted to do was run out of the front door back to the safety of the car. We made our excuses and headed off back into the town to view the second property.
We were just around the corner from a house I saw last week and walked up to a hideous glass front door, you know the one, usually found in a council house as a back door! I was keeping an open mind though as I had chatted with the girl living there a lot online and she seemed nice enough. We walked in through a relatively narrow hallway (it was a terrace house and looked small from the front) and soon entered what can only be described as a Tardis! For all of you non Doctor Who fans, a Tardis is something which is a lot bigger on the inside than it appears on the outside. The lounge had obviously once been two separate rooms knocked into one and was enormous, and very bright and airy.
We walked into the kitchen/diner to again be shocked at the enormity of the room! It had a row of cupboards and built in appliances stretching for at least 12 feet along one wall and a large dining table (to seat 6 comfortably) the other side of the room. I was told that I would have my own fridge and that we would share the freezer space, I’d of rather had my own freezer and shared the fridge, but hey, what can you do?! I soon spotted a rather drafty hole in the kitchens exterior wall which Mo (the girl) told me was for the cat as she couldn’t get a cat flap to go through the French doors leading to the garden so she created a kitty tunnel! I think I may help her on finding an alternative to get that hole blocked up!
I saw into the garden, which obviously needed some grass seed putting down, and saw there was a strong, secure looking shed. That’s my storage problem solved! Mo took us upstairs and into my room. First impression… It blatantly needs a good lick of paint! Oh and that carpet, yuck! It was a beautiful colour, however bright lilac really doesn’t look right as a carpet! The ceiling also matched the carpet, ouch!
It had all the essential furniture to get me started, bed, wardrobe, chest of drawers, desk. Sorted! And there was plenty more storage on the landing, all of the cupboards are currently empty, however Mo explained that they can be used for me if need be. The bathroom was like a sardine tin, but even so, I’m not exactly going to be in there too long! The cat then made his way up to meet me. He was a gorgeous ginger tomcat and rather vocal with it! It turns out his name is Tango, I have gone from Noodles to Tango, fabulous!
We went back downstairs to discuss the rent and any issues we may or may not have and sat down with Mo’s dad and step mum (they own the house). I said straight away that I wanted to put a deposit down. All of them looked pretty happy with me, but I am still paranoid that they may change their minds! Other than my paranoia the house is perfect for me, and not only that but Mo and I seem to have loads in common and are both just as ditzy as each other!
I can move in starting a week on Tuesday, now all I need to do is to find someone who has a large car or van! Everyone I know seems to have hatch backs! Might be a few trips I think despite it being an hour each way. The joys of moving.

Juggling lifes everything and anything

2008-03-21T18:02:00.001Z

I am juggling, metaphorically speaking of course as I can only juggle with two balls although am willing to try more if you know what I‘m saying! I have received the results for my first assignment for my accounting course… I got… drum roll please… A grade A!!! This is the first A I have ever received, like ever! As you can tell I am completely thrilled by this result and it has spurred me on to continue trying my damned hardest to complete the course ASAP.
I have been tackling the Payroll unit today. There’s not a lot there but boy is it a lot to take in. It has completely thrown me off and I think it will take a lot of practice before I finally “get it”. I have decided though, when I have completed the course, I do not want to become a payroll administrator! I would much rather pay someone else to do it as my poor little brain is getting fried!
Yesterday I decided it was about time I sorted through all of my boxes currently being stored in mum’s back room, as when I do find a house, I don’t think I will have much storage space. Mum has already said that when I go, I need to take everything. Bugger, I always thought parents houses were there to act as essential storage of prized childhood possessions! Hmm, obviously not this one, I may ask my dad about storing a few bits and pieces in his 3 bed house, he has one completely empty bedroom and the guest room only has a computer table in it! Plenty of space.
I managed to sort through one box and threw out a few old computer manuals which I won’t ever need and was just getting to sort out the old Disney video collection when I spider crawled out from under a piece of paper. I may still have a broken leg, but believe me, if there’s a spider involved I can still move damn sharpish! Since the spider incident I haven’t returned to the large stack of videos and the dreaded box. I may go down armed with the Hoover I think!
At present when I take a break from my course and the practice questions I am desperately trying to catch up blogging. So I apologise if things are going a bit slower than normal, being off work means I have a lot of other things to be doing! Mind you, it’s going to be even more hectic when I am back to work!

American adventures to come

2008-03-18T17:45:00.000Z

This is a perfect example of me attracting yet again another complication in my life. Just a few days ago I added an old work colleague to my Face Book friend list. He is someone that was more of an acquaintance, I worked directly with him a few times when I was having to rescue their store from the bottomless pit that is failed audit. The first time we met, the store manager had gone AWOL and he was left in charge. I turned up in store unannounced and as a new face to him. That week I learnt a lot about him… He enjoyed being a manager, ordering everyone around and generally sitting back being a slob! I seem to remember him playing football in the back office whilst I was left to complete the closing down routine. Very responsible guy!
He emailed me a couple of days ago to say congratulations on having gotten married. You see, he moved back to the states 2 years ago when his visa expired. I explained to him that the marriage had broken down due to Dale changing massively but didn’t go into any details. All day we were emailing when he suddenly invited me over to the states to stay with him for a week or two. Which obviously, the opportunity of a cheap holiday was not one to be missed and I gladly accepted his offer for next year.
He asked me if I would need to ask permission from my husband to go and stay with a big black American which I gladly replied “I don’t need permission from anyone, I am my own person, plus the divorce begins in a couple of months. Would your wife be aware of me staying?”
He went on to explain he has a wife and it is often easier to ask forgiveness than it is to ask for permission. This got my cogs turning and wondering why he would need to ask forgiveness, and then it twigged, all through our conversation, he had been flirting and I had been playing straight into his hands right up to the point where I was explaining about my double jointed-ness and how I need to work really hard as I missed the fun I used to have with it!
How could I have been so stupid?! I knew that he had a wife and I still couldn’t resist talking about my old party trick of being uber-double jointed in arms and legs. Idiot! Did he think that I was coming over because I wanted a shag? Perhaps he, like Lou, thought I’d be up for a threesome. Perhaps my cheap holiday might not be such a good idea!
Ignoring that last conversation I began planning my American adventure, I would fly to Virginia and stay for a week with the American Manager, then hire a car and do a road trip travelling down south to New York over a couple of days. I would stop off at New York and stay with an old school friend. I grew up with him in a small village and we were best of friends, however the usual thing happened, when we got into secondary school, we grew apart. We would still talk, but no where near on the same level. It would be good to catch up with him. Following New York, I would get back on the road and continue South to Florida, where we have some family friends who run a restaurant. Fingers crossed they would put me up for a few days so I could enjoy the beach bum lifestyle!
Only time will tell, and if my bank balance will allow following my Malaysian excursion planned for later this year! And who knows, what happens stateside, stays stateside (and on my blog of course!).

Let's talk

2008-03-14T21:33:00.000Z

I have finally managed to track down my manager! I got hold of him yesterday via text message and I think I ended up scaring him a little!
Me - “Sonny, I really need to speak to you urgently. Call me ASAP”
Much later in the day he finally replied “Hey Kel, sorry I haven’t been answering, my phones fucked up. What’s up?”
Me - “Can you call me from a different phone?”
Sonny - “Is it that important?”
Me - “Sort of yeah. I’d rather talk about it than text.”
Sonny - “Can you call me in store tomorrow? I’ll be back in then.”
This morning I text him requesting that he calls me from the cordless phone. Last thing I wanted was the other guys listening in and gossiping about me too. A couple of minutes later my phone rang. “Work - landline”. I answered and was quick to tell him he needed to go somewhere quiet and private, away from the other employees. He sounded rather panicked which made me fell a bit better, if the rumours about my job were true I wanted him to feel crap as he was supposed to be a friend and I had done plenty to help him out in the past on a more personal basis as well as getting him out of sticky situations at work.
He had a usual flirty comeback “you just wanna talk dirty to me, don’t you? I know what you’re like Kel”
“You know I always want to talk dirty to you sonny boy” I replied in a sultry tone. Once I heard the door code being entered and the locks snap shut behind him I knew that I would be safe to talk to him.
“Right, talk to me, you’re getting me really nervous now.” He said sounding a little shaky.
“Well, I don’t know where to start… To put it simply I have heard a rumour from a couple of people now saying that my job is not safe and that I will be put into a sales role when I come back. Please tell me that is not true?” I said laying it down in front of him, bluntly and straight to the point I thought!
“You what? I haven’t heard anything about that.” He said, sounding genuinely shocked. “I’ll speak to HR and the regional manager, they would know about it if that was the case.”
He hung up and about half an hour later he called me back to confirm that it was just a rumour and that my job was safe. “Thanks for scaring me half to death by the way! I’ve had enough of doing your job as well as mine! I need you back here!”
“Me scare you?! Think how I have been feeling, I’m looking for a new house at the moment too!” Cheeky git!
I now don’t know whether Sarah had really heard that I was being demoted on return from sick leave or if she is trying to get to me some how… Hmmm… I shall have to ponder on that one I think.

Rough times

2008-03-12T13:41:00.000Z

Everything has now reached an all time low. I’m now clucking, no, I haven’t gone mad… It’s a slang term used when you are in need of a heroin fix. I’ve been clean for over three years now and this is the worse I have felt since going cold turkey all those years ago. I am guessing everything that has been happening lately has finally gotten to me and I have very few distractions.
I am waiting for a phone call from my manager as last night Sarah kept saying that my job was not safe and I would not have the same position when I return. And not only that, but there are no current sales vacancies in my store. I honestly don’t know whether to believe it or not, but one thing I do know is that my manager doesn’t seem to want to talk to me and certainly hasn’t suggested anything.
I kind of need to know now whether or not I have a job to go back to, I have 3 house viewings this weekend!

Rollercoaster of a night

2008-03-11T23:59:00.000Z

My emotions are shot to pieces. I don’t even know where to start, nor how much to say. But I’ll give it a shot.
Tonight, I went out for a meal with a friend. For some unknown reason she suddenly started to ask me what I have done with my wedding and engagement rings. I don’t even remember how we got onto that conversation!
“They live in the ring box by my bed” I replied bluntly.
“Right, but why don’t you wear either of them?” She continued to question me from across the table.
“One, they aren’t exactly fancy, and two, I don’t like the memories attached to them.” I said beginning that familiar route down memory lane, but somehow stopping before getting emotional.
“Strange. I still wear my ring from my ex, but I just look at it and think ‘I got a nice ring!’” She said which somewhat surprised me.
Now, several hours later, whilst I am laid in bed with the TV off and nothing distracting me, my emotions have poured out along with the memories of getting those rings. I am sat looking at the box, remembering how Dale “proposed” to me.
I made him propose three times before I finally said that three letter word which would change my life. The first time he actually did get down on one knee, well, sort of! He was already sat on the floor after I had given him a shoulder massage and turned around to look up at me. “We ought to get married, I reckon you’d make a lovely little wife for me… Kelly, my wife for life” he had been drinking quite heavily that evening (I think he was up to his 12th can of larger at that point, I know he finished off an entire crate!) therefore my reply was short and sweet “ask me when you’re sober.” I seem to recall this proposal being just two months after we had met!
The second time, he did go down on one knee properly. I was sat in the lounge watching Eastenders (an English soap) after an exhausting 13 hour day at work and had just had to cook us both our evening meal. I was only there for a couple of hours as I was living a twenty minute drive from his flat at this point. Yet he still disturbed the crucial point of my programme and got down on his knee and looked at me with a nervous smirk on his face. “Will you marry me and be my wife for life?” I could tell from the smell of his breath that he had been drinking and he admitted to having a couple of cans to get the courage. “Nope, you shouldn’t need any dutch courage, ask me when you are completely sober!”
The third and final time he mentioned it in conversation one evening, just three and a half months after meeting me. “I really do think we make a great team. Shall we get married and we can make a proper go of it?” By this point I had moved the majority of my stuff into his any way, and he appeared to be such a nice caring guy, willing to do anything for me and to protect me. He also had a sweet son who had started to call me mummy and desperately wanted more children (that was a big plus for me!).
I smelt his breath for any trace of alcohol, seemed fine. “OK, I will marry you”. He gave me a cuddle and got out the Argos book (superstore which stocks everything from garden furniture to jewellery). He flicked through the ring section and said “which ones do you like?” The budget he gave me was £90 and no more than that! I know, classy guy. I should have known by that that we wouldn’t work! You see, I take after my mother and have expensive taste!
It was a couple of months later and we had a major row regarding the ring. My mum kept on at me (as did Jennie) about how I didn’t have a ring yet and he should be desperate to get a ring on my finger to show that I was taken. I had mentioned one of these conversations to Dale as we laid in bed late one night as it was starting to get to me that my mum didn’t trust my instinct (turned out she was right… bugger) and it was like Vesuvius erupting.
“Fine, I’ll get your bloody ring. I was going to do it to surprise you, take you somewhere like a busy restaurant and get down on one knee in front of everyone, but no, your mother has to butt in and take control. I’ll get your damn ring this weekend.” I was already upset, but that topped it. I sat there staring for a minute or two and then cried. He did his usual response to emotion and stormed off leaving me to it.
A month after the row, I came home from work after another tedious day visiting the Plymouth store. I had been on the road for nearly three hours and all I could think about was getting in and crashing out on the bed in Dale’s arms. The reality turned out somewhat different!
I cam in and collapsed on the sofa to see our little boy fast asleep on the other couch. I looked at him wondering how long he had been there and why his Dad was letting him stay in the lounge with heavy metal blaring out from the TV?! Dale looked over from the computer and said “He wanted to stay up to give you something” I hadn’t even noticed the large bunch of supermarket flowers on the mantle piece. It was very sweet of him though, I rarely get given flowers as most men know that I used to be a florist, so for some reason they don’t think that I want to receive them! Wrong - I love getting flowers, even a feeble effort from the supermarket/garage will do!
Dale then woke up Jonathon saying “Mummy’s home, are you going to go and give her the flowers?” The kid leapt up off the sofa (seriously, I would love to know how kids wake up like that!) and handed me the flowers with a beaming smile and big kiss. “This is for your birthday, but we thought we’d do it early!” Jonathon said still beaming up at me. He always insisted on giving presents early, I think that was because he expected to get his early too. He then ran off and came back with a squashy present which he thrust into my hands.
“I’ll open it on my actual birthday sweetheart, but thank you anyway” And I gave him a peck on the cheek and smiled over at Dale who then disappeared into the bedroom. I could hear him rummaging about and then he re-emerged carrying a small gift bag with a heart on the front. Very tasteful packaging I thought. He threw it at me saying “You’ll want this one now.” And quickly walked over to the window which he opened and hung out of to have a cigarette.
“Is this what I thin?” I asked, secretly hoping it was the ring and he would come over and propose properly now that he had the props.
“Open it and see.”
And yes, there it was a rather nice looking shiny white gold and diamond ring. Not exactly the usual engagement ring, but it would do I suppose! From the way that ring presentation to me went, I really should have known not to marry him. But hey, we can’t live life with regrets. If I hadn’t of done it, I would be sat here writing “What if…”
I’m going to put the box back in the drawer now I think. I haven’t felt this alone for a while and I almost miss the chaotic life on the council estate. Think Shameless (another English TV show)… Our block of flats, we were the Gallagher’s, Dale being Frank, the drugged up, pissed father. Most of all, I miss being a mummy. That’s enough self pity for now.
More happened tonight, but I am not going into that now.

Man Whore - Does what it says on the tin!

2008-03-10T14:41:00.000Z

Bugger. I have lost out on man whore’s flat. Really gutted about that one. He just said he had offered it to someone who could move in sooner. Even when I offered him money from now to cover the rent he would be losing out on, he still declined. Back to the drawing board.

Do all man whore's have such fabulous apartments?

2008-03-08T21:38:00.000Z

Viewed the Man Whore’s flat, perfect, fell in love immediately. Made mum pull over before going to see the house with the middle aged perv to decide what I wanted to do, we both agreed the flat was perfect and so was the housemate and I called the older man to cancel the viewing of his house. Thankfully he wasn’t in so I left a message apologising for messing him around.
I sent Man Whore a message saying “I don’t need to think about it. Yes please if that’s ok?” I heard nothing back that night, so I presumed he left his phone at home when he went out.

Time to Spread my Wings (take two!)

2008-03-04T23:57:00.000Z

Good things and bad things have happened today - nothing major though! The bad, I managed to get distracted from doing my course (again) as I did yesterday, the good… I may have found somewhere to live!
At the moment, since leaving Dale, I have been living back with my mum. I had planned to move out back near the motorway (much easier for work) when my leg was a bit better and I was able to drive and work again. I managed to sign up with a website advertising housemates and have been offered three, count them, three, rooms!!! One woman and two men have asked me to move in.
These are my choices… The female lives in my old town (opposite side to Dale), however her advert says must like children. Hmm, curious, I’d have my own en suite attic room and seems a nice enough woman. Found out later today that the road is infamous for drug dealers and addicts alike, meaning at some point I would be likely to bump into Dale searching for a quick fix. I don’t think so.
Another was a 46 year old man living on his own in a 3 bed 3 storey town house only ten minutes from where I work, which would be about a 20 minute walk. Ideal! However his son stays some weekends and I’d have to put up with a single bed (in a double room, go figure!) and from my past experiences, I attract older men who turn out to be complete perverts (my ex-step dad, my best mates God father, the Welshman, Dale, Tim, Lou, Drew, all older men the average age being 34!). Oh dear.
The final room is being offered by a 24 year old man who is very “sociable” which is another way of saying man-whore! He is offering me a double room with my own private bathroom (he has an en suite and doesn’t use the main bathroom), very nice but small kitchen (seen a photo), would have access to sky plus (I can watch Lost again!!!) and wireless internet which would save me having to buy a portable modem, also has a driveway and garage (cheaper car insurance and guaranteed parking!). His description of himself was very sociable and enjoys living life to the full, great a party animal whereas I prefer a nice quiet life.
I have definitely ruled out the woman, don’t need the hassle of drug dens! Which leaves me with a middle aged pervert or a younger party animal/man whore. Hmm. What a choice! I have arranged to meet both candidates on Saturday evening so I shall cast my vote then!
Mum however was not best pleased when I called her to announce that I had a couple of house viewings. I honestly don’t think that she wants me to ever move out! Her reason for not being happy was that it would be with men and she doesn’t think I’d be safe. What she doesn’t realise is that for the past nearly four years I have lived as an independent woman, a year and a half of that time was living with a friend and a man, and the rest was living as a mother myself and a wife in a small pokey council flat in a pretty scary neighbourhood.
It’s time I spread my wings again. I don’t feel as if I can live my life as I’d like to here, what about when I want to bring a man back?! I have often wanted to ask Drew to stay but don’t feel comfortable with my mother being in the next room! Not only that but once I did ask him to stay which he instantly declined.
Roll on Saturday!

Never Rely on a Man!

2008-03-03T16:16:00.001Z

How bloody typical. Anyone who placed a bet regarding Lou not turning up… congratulations, you win! I knew I couldn’t rely on him! After all of his teasing and tempting promises via text message a few nights ago, he has failed to turn up. Again. Anyway, it’s now 4pm and there is no sign of him.
He text me this morning saying that he was just getting the cars windscreen fixed, had to wait for some guy to come over and pay for the log burner to be repaired and then he would be on his way over. Strange that he doesn’t seem able to leave Jen with the money for the log burner guy, I know that she’s not great with money, but seriously, she wouldn’t have the car so it’s not like she would be able to spend it in a couple hours!
I have made a decision. My conscience can’t take much more of this. I feel sick more than turned on whenever Lou and I text each other and I haven’t been able to look Jennie in the eye for months. I’m going to tell Lou that we cannot do anything until he has left her. I’ll tell him next time I see him, I’m not the sort of person to dump someone over the phone.
Any who, I am going to crack on with my course… today’s lesson, VAT. You’d of though that it would be a simple case of adding 17.5% to everything

Dirty Filthy Sex

2008-03-02T05:19:00.002Z

As usual, the complications continue… something that I’ve not told you is that since Tim text me the other day asking me to stay with him, he has been texting me nearly every day. I have been really good though and haven’t led him on in any way, shape or form. Except today, I think I officially crossed the “friends only” line.
Let me put it this way… I am very proud of my boobs. They are au natural, home grown etc… When I was 16 I was flatter than road kill, they then grew from a double A to E cup within the space of a year, I kid you not! And then the following year they continued to grow up to an F! So believe me when I say, I am proud of my home grown lovelies!!!
Tim - “So how are Britain’s best boobs?”
Me - “They are fine thank you but will be better when I put the weight back on!”
Tim - “What size are they now?”
Me - “D at the mo”
Tim - “Nice and what were you?”
Me - “F was the biggest”
Tim - “Wow, and the rest of you?”
Me - “8”
Tim - “Wow”
I always love shocking people with my dimensions, I know that I have a good figure, but never really show it off. Clothes shopping is not my strong point… lingerie shopping on the other hand, I should have a degree in!

Tim wasn’t the only complicated matter today, there was also Lou. It was gone midnight so I thought it had been another day with no contact which I was fine with. I could have an almost clear conscience for the day. He texted me a simple friendly message asking if I was awake, informing me that Jennie was in bed asleep and how was the leg doing.
Me - “Leg is doing well thanks except for the bandage slowly turning into a plaster cast! The bleeding has just about stopped now so that’s good. You ok?”
Lou - “Yeah I’m good. Alone thinking about you, feeling horny. You must be due on soon.”
Lou has a thing for real dirty sex including periods and golden showers. Sex whilst on a period I can just about do as that is when I am at my horniest! Any more than that is a no go for me. I don’t see the appeal in it, I struggle to pee in front of someone, let alone on them! And having someone piss on me? No thank you, that’s just gross and I do have some class! You’d have to pay me a pretty hefty sum to get me doing something on that level! Now there’s an idea for some quick cash. Sick pay isn‘t all it‘s cracked up to be…
For nearly two hours Lou and I were chatting for. Me trying to keep it friendly as I was absolutely shattered and couldn’t summon the energy to play from anywhere, and Lou desperately trying to turn it to filth!
He was begging me for a photo so he could see my red river in full flow, he really wanted to see me pulling a tampon out (I know, he’s a strange one). I sent him one of my juicy pink lips (and complimentry string) to keep him sweet and made my excuses for not sending the more explicit version. I explained to him that my crutches would wake mum up as I hobble to the bathroom to get a fresh tampon and said to him that I would guarantee I make it up to him on Monday (if he comes over). Finally a good thing about having a broken leg!
He asked if there was any chance he could come over tomorrow so that he could sort me out, however I had to decline as mum would be home most of the day. I told him it would have to be Monday or nothing as I needed to be on a bed so that my leg could be fully supported and mum would be out at work. I really don’t think that my leg would be ready for standing sex nor being bent over the car!
Lou then said he would definitely be over on Monday but it would have to be after 12 as he’s taking the car to the garage. He went onto say that if I was still on he would lick me dry and give me a deep tongue fuck as well as trying many different positions now that my leg is free from the cage!

Now, do I make an effort Monday morning, tidy the house up and make myself look pretty, or is he going to stand my up for the umpteenth time?

Place your bets now!

Operation... 3 down 1 to go! I am now out of the frame :-)

2008-02-29T17:45:00.001Z

Well today women all over the world will be proposing to their men as is the leap year tradition. Not me, I don’t intend on getting married again! Well, unless Mr Perfect happens to walk into my life with the biggest sex drive possible so he could match me! One of my nurses from yesterday is planning on popping the question to her anaesthetist boyfriend, who happened to be my gorgeous anaesthetist!
Yesterday I had the operation to take the cage off of my leg. It was a very bizarre day filled with dumb nurses with bulbous noses, and especially good looking surgeons and anaesthetists! I managed to wake myself up at six in the morning so that I could have a slice of toast (wasn’t allowed to eat after 7am) which I am glad I did as by the time of the operation I was ravenous!
I packed an overnight bag, just in case I had to stay in. I have a problem with my blood, whereas it doesn’t like to clot very well, so I was partially expecting to have to stay in overnight. Mum drove me up to Bristol hospital where we arrived ahead of my appointment time. We were told to go and wait in a large reception area where we were greeted by 20 people, both patients and relatives. Some were even sat in hospital gowns which made me feel very nervous, I know they say you leave your dignity at the door, but seriously like that?!
Thankfully I did not have to wait around in a gown in the reception area. I was finally called into a little room after waiting about half an hour and had a little nurse run through all the pre-op assessment again. I struggled to look at her in the eye as my eyes kept getting drawn down to her… No not bosom but her nose! She had a bright red very bulbous nose which look like a clowns nose had been stuck to her face! I kept glimpsing over at mum who was also struggling not to release a chuckle.
The nurse began the pre-op interview and ran through all the usual questions, “You allergic to anything?”
“Yes, oranges” I replied.
“Oh, I’ve not heard of that one before, what happens when you eat an orange then?” She asked me as if she didn’t believe me.
“I vomit” I replied bluntly. I was not impressed with her “nursing skills”
“Oh dear, that doesn’t sound very nice!” She said. I looked over to mum who was sat beside me looking just as gob smacked as I felt.
I could barely hear what the nurse was saying but she ended up rushing off out of the room to get something. She had mumbled something before leaving us, but neither mum nor I had heard her. She soon returned armed with a thermometer which she promptly thrust into my ear.
“You have a temperature” She said looking amused almost.
“Oh really. I feel fine” I said, waiting for her to ask me if I had recently had a cold, which I had and still had the tail end of it. But the question never came. Nor did she ask if I was asthmatic! When she asked me to step onto the scales I noticed that the needle wasn’t on zero which I pointed out to her. She didn’t seem concerned in the slightest and told me just to get on it!
Following my assessment I was sent back into the waiting area where we remained for another half hour before having a different nurse come and call for me. This one looked like a butch lesbian, really broad shouldered, short hair and a square jaw line. She certainly wasn’t a girly girl! She took me through to the ward area and showed me to a bed. It was a cubicle on the end, tucked away quite nicely with a comfy looking armchair and foot stool all ready for me. She informed me that I should make myself comfortable and she would be back over in a short while to get me settled in. And with that she was gone.
We didn’t know what to expect, there wasn’t a gown in the cubicle so I couldn’t get myself ready and I had previously been told I was last on the list, so me and mum sat in my cubicle preparing for a long wait. About 5 minutes later a hunky man wearing scrubs marched past my cubicle peering in as he went, he then turned and came back stopping by my curtain door.
“Kelly Guyer?” He questioned. He had the most beautiful clear hazelnut eyes that you could look into forever.
“Yep, that’s me” I said, I could feel myself starting to turn crimson.
It turned out he was my anaesthetist (a very good looking one at that!) and just had to run through a few things with me. I told him about having had a cold but he said that it should be fine. I noticed as he sat on the bed talking to me that he kept swinging his feet and flicking his plastic hospital shoes on and off which mum and I had a chuckle about after.
A short while after another Doctor peered around the curtain and made his way into chat. He introduced himself as my registrar which was news to me as I had previously seen a different registrar. The one I used to see, Dr Thomas, was drop dead gorgeous and had a very sweet, almost innocent look to him. He always used to come and visit me up on the ward when his shift finished, just to keep me company as he knew my family were 2 hours away. I was tempted to ask him today if he wanted to meet up outside of the hospital after my operation, but obviously that wasn’t to be.
Today’s registrar was also very hot, however in a different way to Dr Thomas. This one had a dirty sex appeal about him and smelt fantastic. So much for Doctors not being allowed to wear cologne! I could just imagine kissing his neck passionately and him bending me over the bed, taking me roughly from behind and the anaesthetist walking in taking the surgeon‘s place. I felt wet just with him talking me through the operation! This was typical, I was in hospital for major surgery and I end up fantasizing about both the surgeon and the anaesthetist! I think I have a problem!!!
After I got myself all flustered thinking about sex and hot Doctor’s, a couple of nurse’s wheeled me down the corridor and into an icy operating theatre. I had three people stood around me and a group of surgeons including the hot one sat down by the computer in the corner of the room. There was a female anaesthetist and an elderly female nurse stood either side of my head and the hot male anaesthetist rushing all round. The nurse stood there chatting to distract me from the others rushing around me, while the female anaesthetist attached all of the monitoring equipment to me until I felt as if I should be plugged into the mains. The male anaesthetist rapidly went down in my books as he put the needle roughly into the back of my hand. As it was cold, I felt the pain much more, it took him a couple of attempts before he finally got into the vein and flushed a small syringe through. As he did this the nurse stood next to me saw me clasp the blanket and she clutched onto my hand offering me support and encouragement.
At first I thought it was saline (water) that he flushed through the line, however my hearing went all fuzzy like when you are about to faint, so I began thinking perhaps it was the anaesthetic? But no, it couldn’t have been, I was still wide awake and I have never been able to fight off anaesthetic.
“Has he given me something?” I mumbled to the female anaesthetist.
“Yes, it’s just to help you relax love, I’m just about to give you something else to help you relax a bit more, it will make you feel like you have been out on the town!” She replied, happy to explain everything going on around me.
“I already feel pissed, do you have to?!” I questioned, not enjoying the dizzying feeling. It reminded me of when I used to shoot up as an addict, years ago, something I never wanted to have to relive, yet here I was doing it in a legal manner. And yes, I still hated the feeling.
“Just about to put an oxygen mask on you, so you get a good lung full of it as we put you under. You might feel a bit of a sting as the anaesthetic goes into the line in….” The anaesthetists voice grew fainter until I could no longer hear her and I was out like a light!
I came to in a bright white room with only 3 beds. I was the only person in the room as well as two nurses looking after me. I woke to find myself holding onto a plastic cup of water and automatically lifting it up to my mouth to take a sip. I had a saline drip running into my hand, great, I thought, what the hell has happened?!
I looked around, I already had my glasses on, that’s weird, they normally make you ask for your glasses in recovery.
“Did I ask for a drink?” I asked the brunette nurse feeling very confused.
“Yes you did sweet heart, you were asking about equipment too a little while ago, not sure what it was exactly though!” She then went onto explain about the saline, “you were ever so pale when you came out and your blood pressure dropped very low, gave us a bit of a scare at one point, but we have pushed some fluids through you and it is picking up now. You have more colour in you cheeks too.”
“Great, thanks, just don’t tell my mum about the little scare, she’ll only worry and she doesn’t need that. Can you sit me up a bit please?” I hated being flat on my back like that with nothing nice to look at above. She raised the back of the bed up at an angle so I was more propped up and we all sat chatting about ER and horses for some reason. Then we moved on to discuss the brunette nurses love life… It was going to be a leap year tomorrow and she was doing the time honoured tradition of proposing to her boyfriend, none other than the gorgeous anaesthetist!
A short while later after I had been chatting away they wheeled me back through to the main day unit where the chief nurse greeted me with an offer of biscuits, obviously I opted for the Jammie Dodgers, or rather the hospitals cheaper version and munched happily, they fetched me another cup of water and told me that my mum had phoned up while I was still in recovery. The nurse went out into the waiting room and found mum sat there and brought her through.
We all sat in my cubicle until 5pm when I was allowed to go home to rest. The nurse told us we were lucky I was being operated on on the Thursday as it was that night (last night) that the hospital was being closed to admissions and any emergency cases would be “stored” in the day unit ward! This was all down to the latest super bug… Norovirus. I was just glad that it was in the other hospital building. Just after the nurse told us this, we packed up my things and hobbled back up to the car. This was after arguing with the nurse that I was partially weight bearing and needed my crutches. The surgeon wrote on my notes FWB (fully weight bearing) when he had told us that I would be partial weight bearing! Crazy people!
Anyway, after a lengthy post, I am now back home and having to lie very still due to a very bloody leg. I was told the operation went well, but they all forgot it takes me a long time to stop bleeding! All will be well.

Did the earth move for you too?

2008-02-27T08:57:00.001Z

I realised last night that I really miss having a man. I miss someone being there and cuddling me when I am scared, too scared to sleep, someone just to tell me everything will be ok. Although thinking about it, I only remember my soon-to-be-ex-husband, Dale, doing this only once in the two years we were together. I know, I don’t know why I stayed so long either, I should never have even married him with my doubts about him as a person and especially with the concern my friends all showed to me. I am sorry I never listened to you guys.
I am sure you are all wondering what got me all worked up into a complete state of fear last night… Well…. Last night at nearly ten past one in the morning both mum and I were still awake, I was reading through different blogs in bed and mum was happily reading her book in her bed. Suddenly I heard my wardrobe moving and then saw the mirror wobbling about on my shelf. I hasten to add that the floors in our house aren’t that great, normally if mum is moving about in her room, my wardrobe will start to wobble and creak. So I simply thought that she was moving to start with, then the whole room was wobbling as if on a giant wave. My mirror on the shelf is an old fashioned antique, typical brass frame stood up on one point on the stand which began to wobble, only slightly at fist but then so much that it moved over an inch along the shelf (I could tell by the dust marks, I know, I really should clean that shelf!).
Before everything stopped moving I shouted out to mum “What the hell was that?” I had a terrifying image of my mum on her bedroom floor having an epileptic fit. But after a very long 3 seconds, she responded, “I don’t know, you felt it as well then? It could be the wall at the back of the house, it looks like someone has been having a go at it”. The garden wall she was referring to was in a major state of disrepair and looked as if it could easily be pushed over.
“Actually, it couldn’t have been that, we’d have heard it rather than felt it as it’s no longer attached to the house. But I heard all of the brick work cracking and creaking.” She continued as she emerged around my door. The shaking had now stopped after about 6 seconds which felt like 6 minutes!
Mum proceeded to put on her dressing gown and I hobbled over to the door way to join her in the safety of the door frame clutching onto my phone just in case the house did decide to collapse (crazy I know!). We went downstairs, mum armed with her torch and me with my phone and a crutch (walking stick! Not crotch!).
We checked out of the window as mum put her shoes on and couldn’t see anything, so mum ventured out the back door. She went all around the outside of the building inspecting every brick with her torch, seeing no damage. We went back upstairs to our separate rooms “If any walls are to collapse, it will be this one” mum said referring to the wall her bed backs onto.
At this point I just presumed it was an earthquake, “Christ, I dread to think what it must be like in a proper earthquake, if this is what we are like in such a small event!”
We found out this morning that it was indeed an earthquake. 5.2 on the Richter scale the biggest quake felt in the UK since 1984. The epicentre was in Lincoln, a massive 242 miles away from me in the South West.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared, I don’t know if it was fear of the house collapsing or the fear of the unknown, but either way I wish I had some strong arms embracing me last night and a voice saying “it will all be fine.”

Late Night Booty Call

2008-02-24T23:01:00.001Z

Tim called me at half 12 last night! I really didn’t want to talk but felt guilty as he sounded so depressed. He was going on about how he misses my hugs… He only had my hugs physically for about 2 days (long distance, very short lived relationship - more a one night stand!). It has been over 2 years and the guys is still ridiculously hung up on me! Why oh why do I have this effect on guys, not only that but why do I attract the psychos?!
It was pure coincidence that I was chatting to Sarah online at the same time as Tim calling me so I sent her an urgent message. “HELP… Tim is on the phone and won’t go!” I felt too guilty just to hang up on the guy, he sounded miserable and I know that he hasn’t got any friends in his new town he has recently moved to.
Sarah instantly replied “Do you want me to call you?” “YES!!!”
I heard the beep on my phone revealing a call waiting, “Tim, I am really sorry but I have another call. I’ll speak to you tomorrow yeah? Listen I gotta go”
“Oh, right, I know I’m not important” And with that I heard a click of him hanging up. My heart ached, I hate hearing my friends being really down like that and even with our history I just wanted to give him a big hug and tell him everything will be ok. By this point Sarah had hung up, so I called her back and relayed the call with Tim to her. We both ended up laughing it off, me secretly worrying about him.
Whilst I was still on the phone to Sarah, I had a text message come through from… Yep you guessed it… Tim. “Only a guy would call you now so take care and good bye”
Oh my God! Why was he so hung up on me… still?! And please, even he has said, yeah ok lets just be friends, so why oh why was he getting jealous of a mystery phone call? I ended up texting him back saying “I promise I will call you back tomorrow”, it was the only way I could get him to stop texting and ringing me, and believe me, I did not want to talk!
I think I may just shut myself away somewhere, without either my phone nor the internet! It may be the only way to stop my life getting any more complicated than it already is!

Uh oh. Desperate ex!

2008-02-22T10:51:00.000Z

Oh no! I have been receiving the occasional message from Tim over the past week or so. He is one of my exes who was more of a one night stand because he couldn’t be bothered to travel down to see me so I called it a night. He has just text me again, can he sense my frustrations?!
Tim - “So do you wanna come visit some time?”
Me - “I may do. Could be a laugh. I will be back on the road in April. Can’t wait!”
Tim - “You could stay a day or two. I’ll sleep on the sofa.”
Me - “Like the use of reverse psychology Tim. You don’t need to sleep on the sofa. But can you control yourself?!” More to the point, can I control myself! Really should have put that!!!
Tim - “Yeah lol I know nothing would happen. You told me before.”
He obviously doesn’t realise how much I have changed since we last met, am much more intense shall we say. Readers, you have all seen the real me so you all know what I mean!

Sweet sweet dreams!

2008-02-22T10:33:00.002Z

Just woken up in a hot sweat with my hand between my legs. Just goes to prove I really must be obsessed! All I remember from my slumber was one rather explicit dream of my ex brother in law. I have always thought I had picked the wrong brother (still wonder what it would be like to go with R), lets put it this way, he has an incredible physique and is ridiculously hot. He could make you wet with one wink!
I remember one time, he arrived at the flat on his motorbike in full leathers. I felt my legs start to buckle when I opened the door to let him in. There is something about a nice, well toned man in tight fitting leathers, mmm, sorry going back into dream world! He also had a particular scent about him, a combination of Lynx and oil, a great mix that I will never forget. He walked into the flat and lent over the couch to look at what Dale was doing on the computer, all I could focus on was his perfect ass with the leather taut across his cheeks. I just about managed to say “Do you fancy a cup of tea” having to bite my tongue with what was going through my mind. You could just imagine what would have happened if I was to say “Fancy a quicky”, Dale would have actually killed me!
I went off into the kitchen and put the kettle on and R followed me out and stood at the sink washing his hands. I jumped away when he reached around me to get the towel, I was really struggling, in a way I was glad that Dale was in, I’m not sure if I could have controlled myself! I’d never be able to forgive myself if I was to cheat on someone. Find it bad enough being the other woman, but when it involves someone you love, it would crush me.
I carried 2 cups of tea back into the lounge and just as I came around the corner, R had his back to me and was pulling his jumper off over his head. His t shirt underneath rode up and revealed his gorgeous tanned back and tatoos. I nearly dropped both cups and managed to catch one against the door making a loud clattering noise. Both R and Dale glimpsed round, R now revealing his incredible sex pack, (no focus girl! Sorry), six pack to me. I felt my jaw drop down and had to tell myself to focus and keep in control. After that is pretty much a blur, however I know that I soon made my excuses and took myself and my cup of tea into the bedroom (alone I hasten to add!). Boy did my toys get a bashing that evening! Wow.
My dreams about him are pretty much always based around that night and seeing him in his biking leathers. Last night, he had arrived at my house and came in through my bedroom window saying he had missed me an had always wanted to fuck me so that he could hear me scream with pleasure. Lets just put it this way, we did it in every way possible and if his tongue is like that in real life, I envy the woman he ends up with! I have always wanted to do the entire karma sutra in one night, but NOT in my dreams! Reality will do nicely thank you!
I now keep on looking at my phone and scrolling down to his number, the temptation to ring him is unbearable. Why oh why does he have to be related to my soon to be ex husband! If only me and Dale were still on talking terms and he wasn’t so paranoid. Then I might be able to get away with seeing R. These dreams about R are becoming rather frequent! My frustration is building up far too much now, it’s driving me crazy and I need more batteries!

How Secure is a Job Now Anyway?!

2008-02-21T18:04:00.002Z

I have been signed off work on long term sick leave due to the surgery on my leg since last July, with a temporary 3 week return to work at the end of October. So I guess now it must have been approximately seven months off work. I have always wondered how safe my job would be, but generally put that thought to the back of my mind as I am contracted for my particular job role on full time hours in my Bridgy store. Therefore I considered it to be safe as houses… Although, now, I’m not convinced
Sarah phoned me last night as she was leaving work to let me know that she had been speaking to my manager and he has informed her that the store is not budgeted for an administrator. I had known this from seeing the books myself months before I even started in the store, however the regional director wanted me in the store. Not only that, but they have proven that they need me in Bridgy since they failed their audit just a couple of weeks ago.
My manager (GSM) has really been pissing me off since I went on sick leave. The only times he has talked to me, since taking my break, is when I have been informing him of my progress, even my regional director hasn’t bothered to contact me despite the fact we worked directly with each other. GSM didn’t even tell me that our store failed audit, I had to find that out on Face Book, by him telling someone else! ARGH!
Sorry, babbling again, back to my work situation! GSM had told Sarah that he didn’t know how to tell me, but they would probably put me into a cashier role. Which means, I would have ridiculous targets to work towards and if I failed to meet said targets, that’s it, I’m out of the game. No pressure then.
I hate working directly in sales with a passion. It is my idea of hell.
I think I may wait until I have confirmation from either GSM or my regional director before resigning myself to the gallows. Bloody good job I have started my accounting course, good timing or what?!

PS - If anyone reading this is in the legal profession, I would love to know where I legally stand! Feel free to leave a comment.

Back to Learning

2008-02-19T16:09:00.001Z

Phoned the doctor first thing this morning to get some antibiotics to sort my throat and head out (I think it’s a throat infection), but he wouldn’t even see me despite having surgery in 9 days! All he said was to take Paracetamol and gargle salt water. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you possibly the worlds worst and most useless Doctor Surgery!
As soon as my leg is sorted I am changing doctors, I don’t care if it means I will have to change again after a couple of weeks when I move back to Taunton area, I want someone who knows what they are doing and talking about! Morons!
Oh well, my day soon picked up when the post arrived… I was doing the washing up and tidying the kitchen when I spotted the postman, so I hobbled out to the front door and collected a mountain of junk mail and a handwritten envelope addressed to myself. The only person I could think that it would be from was a lady from my church back in Taunton who I always called my “church Gran”, she is a lovely lady in her late 60s, early 70s and has always looked out for me. She is one of the few who keeps in touch with me since leaving! Which reminds me I haven’t written to her for ages.
Anyway, I didn’t think much of it so I left the envelope on the side until I had finished cleaning up. When I started to open the letter up, I could feel the thickness of the paper and soon guessed it was a cheque, but why on earth would Church Gran be sending me a cheque?! I ripped open the envelope to reveal a cheque for £10 from a company. It took me a minute or 2 to remember that I had signed up for something online where you give them your address and they use it for junk mail, but they actually pay you for it! I had completely forgotten about it as this was quite a few months ago and I never actually thought they would pay me for it! Woo hoo! Free money for doing nothing!!!
Later in the afternoon, I was downstairs again making myself a bacon sandwich when I heard the sliding door open. I went out to greet a lady from a courier company brandishing a large heavy package… My accounting course! Yay! I can finally start my degree! I ripped open the couriers packaging and there it was, I was carrying my future in a navy blue laptop bag, and boy was it heavy!
I couldn’t believe it, 7 books to work through, I remember the tutor saying he thought it would take me 3 months to work through because of being off work, but after seeing all of this, there is no way I am doing it in 3 months! I have set myself a target of completing this level in a year and completing all three levels of the degree within 3 years, one year per level. I think that’s achievable, right?!

The Embarrassement of a Pig Sty!

2008-02-18T15:52:00.000Z

Woke up at Jennie’s early this morning as Lou was getting ready for work. I could smell him as he sprayed what sounded like half a can of Lynx over himself. Normally I would love the smell of Lynx, and yes, it really does have the Lynx effect on me, however this morning it was far too overpowering and sickly! Christ I hope I’m not pregnant, I don’t need that mess at the moment. I know, I am really stupid for having unprotected sex with a married man, especially one I am sure must sleep around. Bollocks. I know I’m desperate to have a baby, but I don’t want it in this circumstance, that would be completely wrong.
I felt queasy all morning, not sure if it was because of being in a different house, the guilt of mine and Lou’s secret, the smoke from last night, or worst case scenario… Pregnancy. I think I may do a test to be sure! Fingers crossed it was due to smoke inhalation. Must be it!
I kept my eyes shut whilst Lou was getting ready for work, I knew exactly what would happen if he knew that I was awake… He would suggest that we go onto the landing and fuck. And knowing me be so weak minded, would sneak out and join him but then feel even more sick and racked with guilt.
I asked Jen to take me back home at lunch time, which thankfully she did no questions asked. When we pulled up outside of my mum’s house, I decided I ought to be polite and ask her in for a cup of tea. I never thought she would say yes because she had the kids and her youngest was fast asleep! I grudgingly opened the front door to reveal “Eau de la kitty“ otherwise known as the litter tray (toilet door had been left wide open), a trashed living room (me and mum tend to live upstairs and ignore the lounge as we never have guests), and a mountain of washing up in the kitchen (I do the cleaning in the kitchen), oh yeah and something had gone off in the fridge, so that was another delightful scent wafting throughout the house. Nice.
I made us all a drink and Jennie started her usual nosiness and happily wondered through into the back room of the house. This room is an extension and used to be used as my mum’s art studio, however since I have moved back, it has been taken over as storage of all my worldly possessions leaving only a small pathway to the backdoor. Obviously Jen followed the path and started peering out of the back door looking rather shocked at the state of the garden (pretty much matches the back room!) and started to question me about what work Lou had done in the garden for us.
Back in October/November time I think it was, he would come over here on his day off and “fix things” for me, usually starting with myself in my room. Thankfully you could make out what work he had done in the garden, he reinforced the garage door so it now resembles fort Knox, put the garden gate back on it’s hinges and fixed the front sliding door. So glad that she didn’t realise that it should have only taken him a few hours to do thee little chores rather than spread across 3 or 4 days! Oops!
When she left, I blitzed in the kitchen and got that looking far more presentable than before, only the floor to do now, then went up stairs and collapsed onto my bed. I felt exhausted… I’m not pregnant, but am coming down with something. Fantastic when I have an operation planned in a week and a half!

Another near Threesome

2008-02-17T23:06:00.000Z

Had a nice long lie in today with Jennie and Lou and the kids who were quite happily playing with Lou, otherwise known as jumping up and down on him to wake him up! Got up at about 11 and while Jen went out to Asda I stayed in the kitchen watching Lou preparing a roast Lamb followed by home-made Banoffee pie, God I love being a chefs mistress!
Jennie and I were supposed to be having a girly night in tonight as Lou was headed out to a friend’s house. His plans soon changed as he got a phone call asking him to go into work tomorrow. We ended up watching Top Gun and stuffing ourselves with Banoffee pie and sweets! Towards the end of the film, the smoke alarm started to bleep and we all looked around rather confused as none of us could see any smoke. It was only when Lou was coming back downstairs from disconnecting the alarm that he could see the lounge was full of smoke from the fireplace. Which meant we had to have the back door open for most of the night to clear it.
Later that night was to be more fun and games. Jennie’s son was sleeping in a travel cot in our room for tonight (punishment for him being naughty earlier in the day), however Lou wanted a want but not with him in the room! He simply picked up the kid by an arm and a leg and carried him, still curled up fast asleep, out to his normal bed. We later found out that he wanted a threesome just as much as I did when he returned to join us on the bed.
“I want to fuck you both all night” Lou growled.
“No, but you can fuck me” Jennie replied, I knew that she wouldn’t want to involve me, she has been making it very clear lately that there will never be any threesomes.
For once, luckily Lou didn’t try to push his luck with her, but knew that he would have to be quick so not to make things too hard for me. Again his hand moved over to me whilst Jen went on top, after only an hour Lou decided that he had had enough and needed to get some sleep before work the following day. He wasn’t the only one who was tired, I was tired and fed up, this was becoming a regular thing of me coming over for the weekend, them shagging next to me and me getting nothing out of it except the occasional finger. And not only that, but living with the guilt of knowing what Lou is really like. Great.

Nearly a Threesome, but Not Quite!

2008-02-16T23:59:00.002Z

Stayed at Jennie and Lou’s, and we had all agreed that nothing would happen that night… Wrong! Ended up nearly having a threesome, but not quite. We all began by wanking, solo only (Lou laid on the floor, me and Jen in bed), Lou soon joined us on the bed with a vibrating cock ring on which soon snapped under the strain of his throbbing cock. Him and Jen ended up shagging passionately and his hand often strayed over onto my clit which thankfully Jen didn’t seem to contest.
I simply lay entertaining myself with one of my favourite vibrators (not that I usually carry vibes around in my bag! I know I am obsessed, but really…) I was struggling with the temptation to grab Lou’s cock and start sucking him off, but had no idea how Jennie would respond. Something tells me it would be taking things a little further than she’d be comfortable with!
Lou could tell that I really wanted him in me and was quick to finish Jen off so that he could end the torture. He glimpsed over at me at one point and mouthed that he wanted to go really deep in me. How cruel can they be, they both know that I’m not exactly getting any at the moment and just how sex-crazed I can be! Now feeling ultra frustrated!

V-Day - bah humbug

2008-02-14T12:36:00.001Z

V-day, Lou text saying happy v-day, Drew needed reminding! Callum also text a cheesy roses are red poem. “Roses are red, violets are blue, if I was single, I’d be in you!”
Late night I was messaging to Nathan (good looking guy who used to work with me on the field team, gorgeous come to bed eyes) managed to tease him with the fact me and Sarah are possibly up for a threesome when I visit him in Wales in a couple of months time. He was very happy with the suggestion and said there was always a party there if I want it!
Oh yeah baby!

Knobs, knobs marvellous knobs!

2008-02-12T21:30:00.001Z

Decorating again. Sarah has been having problems with her knobs - door knobs of course! We have gotten through far too many knob related jokes today, my face aches from laughing so hard! And it all started at lunch time in B & Q searching for Mortice knobs! You can even get football style knobs!!! Sorry, you kind of had to be there to appreciate it fully!
She couldn’t attatch the knobs to the door, couldn’t get the screwing action quite right and had to ask her pervy neighbour to assist with her screwing of knobs. He was very quick and found all the screwing very enjoyable, but it was all over far too quickly! OK, I will stop now… Sorry Sarah! Teehee!!! X
I think the paint fumes have gotten to both of us today!

Cyber foursome... Revenge is sweet!

2008-02-11T23:59:00.000Z

I actually got out of the house for once today! I was waiting outside of the hospital waiting for a lift and decided to phone Sarah (from my Yeovil store) to see what she was up to for the afternoon. She mentioned that she was going to be decorating her house all week and did I want to help (with the low bits for obvious leg related problems!).
By the time my auntie had picked me up, Sarah was calling me asking where I was as she was sat outside of my house. When we arrived, it was a simple case of swapping cars, I was surprised my auntie didn’t ask why I hadn’t arranged for Sarah to pick me up from the hospital. We got to Sarah’s house and she unpacked her shopping whilst cooking a pizza for our lunch. She told me the decorating plans… pretty simple really, paint the bedroom, bathroom and toilet. Or so we thought! Ended up doing 2 coats in each room and it still needed extra!
I think I’ll be back here tomorrow! Sarah mentioned needing to get door knobs and some more paint, so she’ll pick me up on the way to B & Q tomorrow. Whilst on a tea break, we went online to check out our favourite site… Face Book! Neither of us had much love on there, however I decided to take the plunge and welcome her into my world fully. I showed her the blog and added it to her favourites on her laptop! I’ll soon find out if I really can trust her or not by how people react around me. Would they find out who I am? God I hope not.
That night, sat up in bed back at home I was online as usual and Sarah and Sasha joined me online on MSN. We all sat chatting for a good hour or so an decided to wind up one of our work colleagues from Plymouth. Sasha got him online and had him join our conversation as he was flirting outrageously with her.
He instantly started by saying “evening ladies, I have a fruit salad here, where do you want it?”
We all new this would be a very long and awkward conversation! I had both Sasha and Sarah on separate conversations in the background, so that we could all discuss our plan of action. Sasha didn’t cotton on that we were just going to wind up George for a while and she was getting quite into the whole fantasy sequence by saying what she wanted to do to both Sarah and I. I soon put her straight and told her to stay quiet now that she had gotten him all hot under the collar, Sarah also had the same instructions and was finding the whole situation absolutely hilarious!
After a good 2 or 3 minutes had passed, he started to get funny and asking where we all were and why we had suddenly gone quiet! I had both Sasha and Sarah messaging me saying that he was still trying to chat with them but they were both ignoring him! Was absolutely wetting myself by the end of it all! I know it is shocking, me not wanting to play when being offered it on a plate, but George really does not appeal, he is the sort of guy who thinks he is the bees knees and a complete arrogant knob jockey! I really hope that Sasha has now seen what he is really like and I don’t need to try to put her of him any more.
Oh well, you win some and you lose some… he is definitely one to be lost!

New Audience

2008-02-11T02:25:00.000Z

Nice lazy day. Chatting to Sarah until the small hours. Sent her a small chunk of my writing (about having a threesome) which she thoroughly enjoyed and boosted my confidence. She said how it made her feel like she needed a shag, which must be a good response right?! We ended up having a very giggly online conversation about having threesomes and involving a guy we used to work with. May be something to play on at a later date?!

2008-02-09T23:10:00.000Z

Arranged with Jennie for me to come and stay next weekend as we haven‘t seen each other for ages. I still wanted to get to the bottom of her conversation with Dale and to find out if she really had told him I had been sleeping around before I left him (just to remind you, that is NOT true, I would never cheat on someone, now with someone is somehow different… Don’t ask, still haven’t worked it out myself, it just is!)
Later that evening I went over to a village near my home town for my Grandad’s birthday party. It was rather bizarre being there as I hadn’t seen most of the people attending for quite a few years! It was really good to see all of the relatives who only ever crawl out of the wood work at big events such as Grandad’s 80th, even better to see my brother and his girlfriend. Neither of whom I have seen for nearly 3 years. Our long break was all because I found and met our half brother Lucas and my whole brother really didn’t like that I was interested in meeting him. Long story for another night I think!
The party was a nice event, me and my mum were seated at the top table which I thought was nice considering that she was my grandmother’s ex-daughter-in-law! I have to admit though, the party really dragged on! The food was finally presented, which turned out to be a simple buffet of cold meats and salads (oh and some quiches which Nan made, not the caterer!), even a 5 year old could have done a better spread! By the time the final table had gone up to get some food, we (at the top table) had long since finished eating and were pretty much ready to go, but there was still the puddings and speeches to go.
The desserts eventually appeared and to everyone’s surprise, they had all been made by Nan, not the caterer which they had paid to supply all of the food! While the last few tables were finishing off their puds, Pier (Grandad’s best friend of over 30 years) stood up and began the speeches. They had prepared a “This is your life” style presentation with plenty of embarrassing photos of Grandad, from when he was a toddler right up till modern day! I have to admit though, the way they had pieced it all together was wonderful and really very touching, especially when it came to his 3 daughters… One lives in Ireland and for some reason or another couldn’t get over here, Val was present at the party and did a short speech to him and the third was in India (can’t remember why!) but she had made a speech to camera and sent it over for him to watch at the party. It was really quite moving to watch him up there.
Once the speeches were over and done with, mum and I made our goodbyes and retreated to the car. Once there I checked my phone to find a message from Lou saying that their daughter had fallen off of the bunk bed and split her head open. They had only just gotten out of hospital and this was at 11 pm! He also added on the end of the text that he was glad I had managed to wrangle my way to stay over the next weekend! That is just typical of Lou!

2008-02-08T22:14:00.000Z

What a day! I got up at about half 8 and did some basic housework and blitzed the kitchen. By the time this was all done I realized that I had wasted too much time and my Gran would be coming round to pick me up in 10 minutes! Raced upstairs to get dressed whilst texting Lou at the same time. I was on day four of no smoking and wanted to tell him as it’s mainly down to Lou that I gave up!
He soon text me back but I had to ignore the messages until I got up to my Gran’s house. The messages mainly consisted of the fact he was horny and couldn’t wait to see me. That was the general gist of it anyway!
I was supposed to be spending the day with my Gran helping her to make some flower arrangements for my grandad’s birthday party the following day. When we arrived, she announced that there were only fourteen to make, shouldn’t take too long then! I started to work my magic green fingers and the messages from Lou kept coming.
Lou - “Are you up to much today? A bit later do you want to have text sex?”
Me - Don’t know if I’ll have chance, my Gran’s roped me into doing the flowers for my Grandads birthday party.”
Lou - “Can I arrange your flower?! Maybe later then?”
My Gran had obviously been watching me and mentioned that I was smirking a lot! I felt my cheeks flush red just as my aunty walked into the kitchen. She also stated asking questions which I just about managed to dodge!
Throughout the day, Lou and I were texting each other, teasing and playing. Both making each other more frustrated! I started to rush the flowers so that I could get home quicker and do something about it. It was nearly five in the afternoon by the time we had finished them! As soon as I got home I rushed upstairs and barricaded the door from both mum and the cat an soon set to texting Lou again. I sent him a couple of pictures and he went quiet. I felt so confused, had he been caught at work? Had Jennie arrived and found the messages? I later found out that his phone was playing up and he was trying to fix it! He text me at about 8 pm saying that he was coming over as he had a mate to see in Yeovil and wanted me to help him find the house.
He showed up not long after and text me to say he was outside. I took my laptop with me to throw mum off the scent of the affair (she can usually spot it a mile off and has already asked me if I am seeing Lou!), when I got into the car I sat there and looked at him.
“You’d better of thought of somewhere we can go” he said.
“I thought we were going to your mates first? Or was that just an excuse?!”
“Just an excuse! Which way?” he asked chuckling slightly “I am so horny right now, shall we try the same place as before?”
I should have known that it was an excuse! But it helped me out with mum though, as I cannot lie to save my life! I quickly ran through a few different discreet places in my mind, other than the airbase, but all I could think of was places where I used to go and shoot up back when I was an addict. And believe me, on a dark Friday night, you don’t want to be hanging around those areas of town.
We eventually pulled up in the dark lane outside Crash Gate number 4 at the airbase and sat in the car talking about when he was gong to leave Jennie (around April probably but before or after their holiday he‘s not sure) and how we can continue to cover our relationship up whilst living together! His mind soon wondered to other things and his hand soon crept across my leg slowly working his ay up my thigh. His hand wandered up under my skirt until he was rubbing desperately on my clit.
Just then we noticed some car head lights heading along the runway. It was the armed patrol car, obviously doing the night patrol around the perimeter of the base. It disappeared from sight and we both new that we wouldn’t have too long before the car made it’s way to this side of the air base. Lou started the car and reversed up the lane a short way and finally pulled into a cut in, close to the hedge. I stepped out of the car and walked around to the drivers side and kissed him passionately as he climbed out of the car. We stood embracing for what felt like hours when he suddenly pushed me down onto the drivers seat. He hooked up my skirt and started to play with my clit through my knickers and I reached out and felt his throbbing hard on, pushing hard against the fabric of his trousers. I began to undo his trousers when his hands suddenly pushed mine out of the way and he frantically undid them himself.
He pushed himself into me so deep it hurt. He pulled back out asking if I was ok and if I wanted it deep, “Yeah, you just caught me off guard! I like it deep, just still not used to your size.” I shouldn’t have referred to his size, you could see instantly from the glint in his eye that it had boosted his ego!
He soon pushed back in this time instantly stimulating my g-spot. As soon as I screamed out in pleasure he froze “what’s wrong?” I asked and received no response. He was still in me yet not moving, so I asked again.
“Shh!” He whispered, “Someone’s behind the hedge.” We both stood still listening for any signs of other people. I heard a twig break and saw a large shadow move behind the hedge. My heart was pounding, I used to live just around the corner from where we were stood and still new plenty of people in the area, I did not need to have one of them perving out over me and my lover! Worse still, what if they were to say something to mum about me being in the neighbourhood with a man?! Be fun trying to explain my way out of that one!
“It’s fine, it’s just a horse” Lou said in a husky voice, I still wasn’t convinced and buried my head in the car to stop anyone being able to recognize me. Not long after that, I felt him shudder as he began to shoo this load deep into me.
At the same time we noticed a couple of car headlights rapidly approaching the other side of the fence, towards the air base. As they approached, I recognized the markings on the vehicle as those on an armoured guards van and alerted Lou. We rapidly got back into the car and sped off back towards my home town.

So I'm now anorexic and a self-harmer?! Stupid drama queen nurse!

2008-02-06T18:50:00.000Z

Went back up to Bristol hospital today for my pre-op assessment. Had to wait over an hour before the nurse finally called me in. And boy was she unprofessional! She had just weighed me and measured me up (I think it’s for my coffin for when the op goes hideously wrong! - Joke!), and we were sat in her office chatting about the lengthy form I had just completed when her office phone rang. It was a call for someone else who she went and fetched in to take the call. This other nurse was stood up chatting away on the phone quite happily and oblivious to the fact that I was getting really pissed off and had the cheek to reveal that she was talking to her husband and he was finally cooking dinner that night! A tad unprofessional don’t you think?! Then she even stood chatting to my nurse about what he might cook for the next 10 minutes! Fuming!!!
After she finally got the picture that we were in the middle of something, she made her excuses and rushed off out of the room leaving my original nurse to start quizzing me about my weight.
“I’m sorry but I have to ask this… Are you anorexic?” Oh dear Lord! What is it that makes people think I am anorexic?! Every time I go into hospital I get told I am anorexic whether I admit to it or not. I may be very slim however to be anorexic you need to believe you are fat and want to lose weight, which I must say, I know for a fact that I am below my ideal weight and uber skinny, but believe me, I want to put weight on!
She then had to take some blood for a clotting test, I immediately rolled up my left sleeve and explained to her that she wouldn’t get anything from my other arm as the vein was too scarred and had collapsed. Her response… “So you’re a self harmer then, oh dear, you really should stop that you know, it’s not going to help you in any way, shape or form!”
I felt my jaw drop open, “Sorry you what?!” I exclaimed, my mum trying to stifle a chuckle!
The nurse didn’t even respond to my shock. I have had Doctors and nurses in the past correctly figure out my collapsed vein and scarring issue being from my past addiction and one of the few track marks I still have visible. I had never been accused of self harming though!
Mum still doesn’t know the full story on my scarred arm, it happens to have been an ideal coincidence that one morning a few years ago, I had fainted and collapsed with my arm caught on the door handle scratching right along the vein giving me a fantastic cover story for my obvious track mark.

Yet more slanderous comments, getting a little tedious now!

2008-02-06T12:33:00.000Z

Dale wrote on our friend Camilla’s (we know her from church) Face Book wall today - “Jen has admitted that Skelly had been shagging around with Lou’s best mate before she left us.” When I saw this I was furious! I had to get my solicitor to write him a letter a few months ago as he had been sending slanderous emails and accusing me of all sorts on line where the whole world (including most of our friends) could easily read it, and here he was doing the same thing again. God it makes me so angry!

Sex and the City stylee

2008-02-05T23:48:00.000Z

Tonight I went out for a meal with Sarah from my Yeovil store. This was the first time we had really done anything outside of work together as friends and it was great! We talked about absolutely everything and anything, it was just like a scene from Sex and the City, we had several rather explicit conversations which we tried and failed miserably to keep quiet about. There was a family sat just behind us enjoying a meal, the kids must have only been 6 and 14 if that! The poor mother was desperately trying to keep them distracted from our conversation! Was quite amused watching her attempts! We can be terrible influences and corrupt anyone who comes into contact!

False Accusations

2008-02-01T10:42:00.000Z

It all started as a nice, simple, normal day. Chilling out and doing the odd bit of housework, just how I like it. Then come the evening my world came crashing down, yet again because of Dale. I was surfing the net as I usually do in the evening and a little box popped up in the bottom right hand corner of the screen. “New message from Dale Forth” the cheery little box announced. I felt my heart pounding hard in my chest as I clicked on the e-mail icon.
“heya jennie just admittted that you been shagging drew since before you left, we knew you was shagging around i said it before, you dirty slag you will burn in hell even tho you are a christian, slut, but then you alaways were fucking some bloke behind my back wernt u, 3 so far by our count. jonathon says I HATE YOU BECAUSE OF WOT U DONE AND ALL THE LIES U TOLD, POOR BLOKE ANDREW YOURE NEXT VICTIM,”
Oh my God. When will he ever give up and what the hell has Jennie been saying and why?! Had she found out about Lou and I? If so then I understand why she would be spreading shit about me, or had Dale done his usual trick and twisted the truth in his head and now believes his story till death? Three people??? Ok, so who could they be (according to Dale that is!)… Obviously Drew, he accused me of sleeping with my old manager only two weeks after I met the guy! But who could the third be? Perhaps Lou, he was the first man he accused me of fancying?
Almost immediately after this e-mail, the now not so cheery little box popped up saying “New message from Dale Forth”. I now felt sick and hesitantly clicked to bring up the new e-mail. This one started off by saying “stop sending Viagra and impotency stuff, my cock works well and I have never had any complaints before or after you. Hm, well I could argue the point but there really is no point! From what I remember he was small, always came too quick and really was nothing impressive. I also hasten to add that I haven’t been sending him anything. I have had no contact with him for just over a month, and didn’t really intend on having any contact ever again.
Once again the little pop-up box appeared revealling that I have a new message from Dale. God when will this ever end? I thought to my self and then laughed out loud when I opened the message. I couldn’t help it, the thought of what I was supposedly doing was absolutely hilarious with my current disability! It was a very short and not so sweet email saying “and can you also stop trying to break into our home to steal things, I have already told you we have changed the locks, I have informed the police of your activities and they have taken finger prints, see you in court.”
How on earth am I even supposed to get there to break in, I have a very much broken leg for God’s sake! Plus there is nothing in the flat that would be worth stealing! I took all of the things which were rightfully mine when I left, surely if I wanted to steal anything I could have quite easily done it back then! And my finger prints are bound to be all over the flat, I lived there for just over a year! That guy has completely lost the plot, I just worry about poor Jonathon getting caught up in the middle of all of this and being fed lies from his father constantly. I think he will grow up to be a really twisted kid who uses and abuses women, he’ll never trust them that’s for sure. Such a shame as he is such a sweet little boy, or he was before I left when I last saw him.

I tried to phone Jennie on both her mobile and landline, but got no response. Perhaps Dale was still over there and she couldn’t talk? Or what if she new the truth about me and Lou? She must have been absolutely fuming and I would understand her not wanting to talk to me. I rang Lou’s phone and again no answer. What the hell was going on? My heart was pounding in my chest and I could barely breath from the shock of everything that was happening then came a message which made my heart stop.
Barry text me saying “Hey Kelly, Could you ring Jennie at home? She said she had something urgent to tell you. B” Oh dear God. What if she had told Barry and Phillis about the Lou having an affair? That would ruin practically every single friendship I have in Taunton. I tried calling both Jennie and Lou, and again, no response. I was getting really worried now and decided to take the plunge and to call Barry.
He answered on the fourth ring and I just launched into it… “Hi Barry, hope you’re ok, what the hell is going on? I can’t get hold of Jen nor Lou, no one’s answering the house phone and Dale has sent me some pretty nasty emails accusing me of having affairs and apparently Jen has told him I was having an affair!” Phew, and breath… Sad as it sounds I really did have to tell myself to breath! My heart was in my throat as I waited for his response, the tension on the line was phenomenal, but he soon burst into life and explained what he could for me.
“Listen, Kell, Dale has been round here too and he was in a right state. He had obviously been drinking heavily and well, you know what he gets like when he has been drinking. I’m not sure if he was on anything but it wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest.” He drew in a deep breath and began to explain about the visit saying how when Dale arrived he was making a big scene out in the street and getting very fired up and lairy demanding to come in to discuss my affairs and how much of a slut I was and why they had kept all of my secrets and helped me lie to him.
They reluctantly let him in the house as he had his son Jonathon with him. The poor kid. He is only seven years old and has already been through enough in his short life, he doesn’t need a psychotic father as well as a schizophrenic mother (birth mother not me I hasten to add!)! He launched into a verbal attack on both Barry and Phillis calling them both liars and telling them that Jennie has admitted to him about me having been seeing Drew before I left him and that there were several other men I had been with which according to Dale, both of them knew about all of my “affairs”, He also went on to say that Richard (our minister) had been lying to him to cover for me and that everyone in the church was against him. Apparently he even decided to call me a few select names openly in front of my poor step son.
Barry also added that both of them looked pretty rough, not what I wanted to hear as I am already worried sick about how well Jonathon is being looked after! I suddenly heard Phillis (Jennie’s mother) pipe up in the background, “Honey I think we ought to call round and see Jennie, I can’t get through to her either and I’m really worried.” That made me feel scared, obviously with the state that Dale was in, he could do anything. He had a violent past and easily flipped when he had been drinking. I left them to it and continued to try to get through to either Jennie or Lou.
An hour later Phillis called me saying she now had the full story, from Lou who wasn’t even there at the time of Dale’s visit. It turns out that he had barged his way into the house with the excuse that Jonathon wanted to see Jennie’s son. The two kids used to be best friends with in the church, but obviously with everything that had been going on with Dale and I, Dale had withdrawn from the church and stopped Jonathon seeing Jen’s son. So why he would suddenly decide to let him go and see the other kid is beyond me!
Not only that but it was way past Jen’s son’s bed time and considering that he is only 5 years old, it is kind of obvious that he wouldn’t be up and ready for a play date at near 9pm! Plus Jonathon should be in bed as well! He has such crap parenting skills! ARGH! But I’m not going to get involved, he can bring up his son how he likes and would only create more problems and stress for Jonathon if I was to go to Social Services. And just think, if he didn’t have the kid to think about, I dread to think what he would do to me, for all I know he could start stalking me and maybe even harm me, he scares the pants off me.
So glad I’m out of that relationship now. Despite hearing that he is currently car-less I still dead bolted and chained the front door. If he really wanted to, he’d get here and I dread to think what he would do if he did come round.

House hunting gone wrong

2008-01-28T13:38:00.000Z

This is bloody typical of Lou. He promised me last week that he would pick me up to take me over to Taunton to see some houses together. As usual, he didn’t stick to his word.
I woke up at 8 this morning after only 3 hours broken sleep and realised I would have to get up and do something otherwise I would fall back to sleep. So I did just that, I got up and dressed, even got my face all dolled up for him. I then picked up my bag and went downstairs to wait for him. Whilst waiting in the kitchen I decided to try to impress him with my housekeeping skills and tackled the small pile of washing up. At this point it was about 9am and our first house viewing was booked for 10.
Lou never replied to my message a few days ago asking what time he was picking me up, but I presumed it would be around 9am to allow for traffic. But no, 9 came and went and there was no sign of him. At half past I sat down with a cup of tea and tried to phone him, nothing. I even sent him a message asking if he was up to much today, just to drop the hint that I was waiting for him, however making it subtle in case he had left his phone at home. I then admitted defeat, I knew deep down that he wouldn’t show up, but didn’t really want to believe it.
I lifted the phone once more and again failed to get hold of the man himself. So I made the dreaded call to the letting agent. My excuse was that my partner had sent me a message saying the car wouldn’t start, in reality he hadn’t even bothered to make an excuse.
This has seriously pissed me off for the day now, each time I hear a car pull up or hear a door bang, I run to the front of the house and glimpse out of the window secretly hoping I would see the hideous rust bucket of a car he drives. But so far nothing, and this is two hours after he should have picked me up. I know I should give up but it’s so hard!

2008-01-21T13:36:00.000Z

My alarm woke me up at half 7. I shook Jennie’s arm to wake her up. “I heard it” was her muffled reply, which surprised me, she must have slept with her hearing aid in! Her son walked in and started to shake me awake “Daddy”, boy did that confuse my sleepy head! I instinctively told him to get out and get ready for school, which he completely ignored and continued to play in the bedroom. He finally got the message when Jennie shouted at him.
Jennie and I both got up and dressed and headed downstairs for the compulsory cup of tea. She went into the lounge and woke Lou up whilst I drank my cup of tea. I offered to get her young daughter dressed whilst she took her son to school. As she went out of the front door, I moved into the lounge to get the babies clothes on the coffee table. I hadn’t expected Lou to have woken up but as I reached over the baby gate to collect the clothes I heard his sexy morning voice “Kell that you?”
“Yeah, hey honey. You ok?” I replied.
“Get down here will you!” As he said that he grabbed hold of my wrist and pulled me down onto the sofa bed towards him. I leant down and gave him a kiss, as I pulled back, he leant up on his elbow and wouldn’t stop kissing me making me laugh with his efforts. I sat up and looked down at him smiling.
“I’ve got to get your daughter ready. And you need to get up and dressed as you have an appointment in half an hour.” He had an appointment with the local sexual health clinic. When Jennie mentioned it to me the previous night, I obviously panicked. But they both managed to talk me round and said that I wouldn’t be at risk (from when we had the threesome) and Lou confirmed it with me that he was mid treatment but it wasn’t infectious.
I stood up and he walked up behind me and embraced me. “Bend over the sofa” he snarled. This instantly turned me on.
“What about Jennie, she’ll be back soon” I muttered as he lifted my skirt. He pushed me down onto the sofa and started to rub his cock on my already wet pussy. “Forget about her” He said as he made his way into me. He trusted in deeper than ever, so much so it made me flinch with pain. He soon came and it was all over. He past me over a handful of tissues to clean up with. Then made his way upstairs with the baby to have a bath.
I took her clothes upstairs and peered around the door in the bathroom watching as he entertained her in the bath with some toys. I couldn’t help but wonder how he will cope with not seeing her every day.

We meet again...

2008-01-20T13:33:00.000Z

Lou text me at about 8 am to say that he was on his way to get me and Jenny was still asleep when he left. I got myself up and dressed as fast as possible but not fast enough, I saw him drive past the house and turn around at the bottom of the road and before I knew it I had a message saying he was here. I picked up my phone and purse, through them in a bag and headed out of the door with a big smile on my face.
I got into the car and gave Lou a quick sneaky kiss (after checking that mum wasn’t watching from the window of course!) and we were off. He mentioned that they had still been arguing the previous night. I began to direct him a different route back to Taunton and he looked slightly baffled for a while, then I saw the little light bulb in his head flicker on as he realised I was directing him to a quiet secluded lane. We eventually pulled up at one of the crash gates of the local airbase, we glimpsed around for 5 minutes to check that no one was going to spot us and see what sordid things we were doing.
“I think we are safe” he said, just as a road sweeper moved up the runway just a couple of hundred yards away from where we were sat. He might not care about getting spotted, but I do! Especially as I used to live in the area!!! Once the little truck had moved on out of sight we both got out of the car, I looked down and saw that he was struggling to contain himself within his trousers. We kissed passionately as he pushed my back against the car door and I fumbled with his large package.
Before I could say anything his hands had moved down and he was undoing his trousers and spun me round to face the car. I bent over and lifted my skirt and he was soon fumbling around trying to find his was into me. I flinched as he thrust in for the first time, I forgot how large his member got and how tight I could be!
He knew exactly where to go to hit my g-spot and I came almost instantly. I could feel him throbbing deep in me and was glad there were no houses nearby, I let myself go completely and screamed out in pleasure which made him hold me closer and tighter and trusted even harder. I was in my element and was enjoying every minute of it. I felt him tense up and his legs shuddered against mine as he came.
We both stood up straight with him still firmly in me. I twisted round to face him and we continued to kiss with passion, he reached into the car and retrieve some toilet paper to clean up with which I accepted gratefully. After he slid himself out of me, we both straightened our clothes and sat back into the car.
“Thank you, that had been building up for a long time!” He said, the relief washing over his face.
“Why didn’t you just fuck your wife if you were getting that desperate?” I asked, curious as to how he would respond.
He said the right thing, “She’s not what I want. I only wanted you. I‘d rather have a wank than shag her.” Very smooth I thought, but still was not going to let myself get too drawn in by his lines, this relationship would be one more of convenience, I could never trust him to have a fully fledged relationship seeing as how we have started as an affair.
When we arrived at his and Jennie’s house, I went in and had a cup of tea and a fag with his wife. I couldn’t look her in the eye, I felt terrible knowing what I had just done is contributing to the breakdown in their marriage, not only that, I had betrayed one of my best friends. After we had sat down for 5 minutes and listened to her and Lou bicker about him taking the car (which he pays for anyway) we loaded her son into the car and headed off to church. I know, it’s ironic, straight after betraying my friend and shagging her husband, I still wanted to go to church!
We arrived in the church driveway and Jennie kindly parked so that I had to get out of the car onto deep mud. Nice. I stopped off outside the church porch for a final cigarette before going in and Jennie instantly asked me for one. She had only just been saying to both myself and Lou that she was going to give up and hadn’t had a fag for over 10 hours. Surprise, surprise she had given up giving up yet again, she was always the one who said it was really easy to give up, I think that she has just proved her theory wrong for the fifth time!
We entered the church and everyone started to slowly filter past me, each one stopping off to say hello and how much they had missed me. I could see the look of sympathy in their eyes. Everyone looked at me as if to say “I feel so sorry for you”, all I wanted to do was scream out and shout that I was fine and didn’t need anyone’s sympathy as I was better off on my own enjoying life and not having a suspicious, jealous tosser always watching my every move.
The worship was slow today and not that great, but after the service we all grouped together at the back of the building and sat drinking coffee. I was stood talking to Alicia, a middle aged woman who had stayed in touch via text message in my absence, when Pattie came up and tapped me on the shoulder. “Can I kiss this woman?” She said rather extravagantly and embraced me warmly whilst kissing both cheeks. As fast as she approached, she was gone! Me and Alicia looked at each other and instantly cracked up with laughter wondering what whirlwind had just past between us!
Jennie’s son started to play up, so we gathered our bags and started to make our way out of the church. Richard caught my elbow as I was trying to sneak past and he started to mention that I had been greatly missed in the church and it was good to see me etc… I soon escaped and collapsed into the passenger seat in the car.
When we pulled up and got into the house, we were both amazed to see Lou unpacking the shopping from his rucksack. He had only just gotten back into the house five minutes before us and it turned out he had walked up to Asda and made their 20 month old daughter walk along side him. Once the shopping had been unpacked Jen and I sat in the kitchen watching as he prepared a roast chicken and all the trimmings from scratch. Lou used to be a qualified chef and we both knew how good his cooking is. We both watched salivating at the delicious smells filling the kitchen, I ended up switching off to them as they were bickering constantly. Unfortunately for Jennie, I had to agree with Lou, I could see exactly where he was coming from on all of his points.
For the rest of the afternoon Jennie was sulking as Lou had made his point very clear to her that she doesn’t do enough around the house. Much later on, Jennie suggested that I stay the night, I glimpsed over at Lou to try to gauge his reaction to that, I said I would think about it but didn’t have a problem. I managed to grab Lou’s attention when Jennie got up to go to the loo and asked him what he thought I should do.
“You should stay, never know might be able to have another threesome, or just us alone tomorrow if Jennie goes out.” He said being rather optimistic. I knew that Jennie would not want a threesome and decided to approach the subject later when we were alone.
After lunch Lou went out cycling with the dog, and it was Jennie who started to talk about threesomes and foursomes.
“I’ve said to Lou that I wouldn’t mind another threesome, but not with another woman. He agreed and said if I found someone we could do it with another man.” She seemed a little bemused as she said this, “I just don’t know who I’d want with us. I have the same problem a you with Drew, there is no physical attraction and I’m worried about him squashing me!”
We both chuckled at that comment, I knew exactly what she meant, it was only his size that put me off wanting to commit into a relationship with him. I began suggesting different men in the area all of which she screwed her face up at the thought.
“Would it not be different if it was another foursome with me and Drew?” I suggested, getting my hopes up a little.
“No, I have told Lou if he wants to have another foursome, it needs to be with someone else.” She sounded very stern about this.
“So, if you don’t mind me asking, but what’s the difference with having a threesome with another man and a foursome with Drew and I?” I had to ask, I was curious as to whether she was suspicious of mine and Lou’s sordid affair, she may be starting to feel jealous of the attention he gives me.
That night they were still arguing and I ended up sat on the floor next to Lou (who was sat on the sofa) as he was trying to show me some different videos on his phone. Jennie was looking pretty pissed off with me and kept on glaring at me before moving over to join Lou on the sofa. She made it pretty clear that he was hers and not mine by the way she was desperately trying to cuddle up to him and grasping at his arm. She only looked more miffed when he didn’t respond and continued to play on his phone.
Jennie kept on complaining about being tired and having to get up early the next day. Both Lou and I remained hopeful that she would go on up to bed and leave us to our own devices but she wasn’t taking the hint.
We eventually gave up the waiting game, set up the sofa bed for Lou and Jennie and I headed upstairs to bed. I shut the bedroom door in the hope that it would stop the kids from walking in in the morning as we were both sleeping naked that night.

Plans for more sordid activities

2008-01-19T13:32:00.000Z

I text Lou this afternoon to say that mum was dropping me off at their house just before 10am the following morning. He instantly replied saying he could come and collect me so that we could have some fun before arriving. Obviously, me being just as sex obsessed as he is I gratefully accepted his offer. Who wouldn’t accept early morning, thrilling sex in a car?!
I told mum that Lou was picking me up in the morning. And she was instantly curious as anyone would be. I managed to convince her that Jenny wanted to pick me up so that she could go out for a long drive and to give mum a break, however that Lou also wanted to pick me up so that he could get out of getting the kids up and ready for church! And mum believed that?! I know, shocking!

Talk of another Foursome!

2008-01-12T13:30:00.000Z

I decided to follow up on my conversation from the previous night with Drew. He had been hinting about a fantasy of me with another woman. I would go back to how we first met, a foursome with Jenny and Lou. I text Lou as I knew that he would certainly be up for the challenge of persuading Jen to get involved.
I hadn’t heard anything from him for a good couple of hours and decided to text Jenny in the mean time, just a simple friendly message to see how she is and if their relationship had improved at all since their last argument. She soon text back saying “Hey mate, I have Lou’s phone. Drew wants to do another foursome?! My God! Pity he couldn’t get it up last time! Had a kids birthday party today, damn tiring!”
I felt my stomach plummet as it had last week when she had sent that message about me and Lou. Why did Lou have to leave his phone at home?! He was such an idiot, he knows I will only ever text him while he’s at work! Thankfully she didn’t seem to pay attention to the details of the message and the fact I had written “mwah” to show I was giving a proper kiss. I decided to ignore the message I had sent to his phone and continue the conversation in whichever direction she took it.
Me - “I know! He still struggles a bit but only because I insist on using a condom. He was fantasizing last night about me and my mate, but I told him that the only way he can see any lesbian action would probably be with me and you! How many kids were there? X”
Jen - “17 kids in the church hall. We said we weren’t going to do a foursome anymore. But since he can get it up now we might do it. Only maybe. What do you think? x”
Me - “Bloody hell! That’s a lot of kids! I don’t know. I wouldn’t do anything if you weren’t happy. I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Like I said in the message earlier, I don’t know how we could do it because of the cage. Unless one couple went downstairs and we swap after a while? X”
Jen - “We did say that we wouldn’t do it again. But you never know what happens in the future. X”
Me - “We’ll see, talk it through with Lou and have a think about it. If you don’t want to that’s fine. We may have to wait until after the cage comes off. Is it ok for me to come over next week? X”
Jen - “Yeah, should be fine. We would love to see you! X”

2008-01-08T13:28:00.000Z

Lou was a no-show yesterday. To be honest, I wasn’t holding out much hope for him to turn up as he hasn’t appeared for the past few weeks. He text me first thing in the morning making his excuses about falling asleep, very typical of him.
Drew arrived at lunchtime to take me us to the midlands. He had driven all the way down to Somerset from his college in the midlands, which took him 3 hours! And now, he was driving all the way back up there! He must be mad, doing that just to get me to himself for one night !!!
When we finally arrived at the hotel, we sat in the car, shocked to see a large rat running across the car park and attempting to climb into someone’s car! Fills you with a whole lot of confidence, knowing there is an infestation right out side! Drew walked into the hotel with me and got us checked in but after taking me to the room he had to return to college. I walked outside with him so that I could have a cigarette before retreating back to the room and whilst out there got accosted by a middle aged business man. He obviously hadn’t seen that I was staying with someone and started looking me up and down and asked if I wanted to join him in the bar for a drink. I responded rather icily and explained that my boyfriend would be back soon. He got the message and rushed off inside to be consoled with a drink. I returned to the room and sat and waited with a cup of tea and the TV for company.
Drew got back from college about an hour later and was happy to see me, kissing me all over and laying me on the bed. I said to him that we needed to get something to eat before any other activities commenced! I had been texting Lou whilst he was at college and he continued to text when he returned. Lou and Drew ended up having a conversation together via myself and my phone, Lou was bragging that he was eating his homemade chilli (he used to be a chef, still a very good cook) and Drew was responding playfully “I’m here with Kelly and your not! I win!” Later in the night, Lou was telling me about some 4 bed houses near Bridgwater he had been looking into “in case things went tits up”. While Drew was in the shower I text him back asking if he was looking for such a big house to include me. He responded “You know what I would like”. It was at this point that I realised I was getting drawn in by his charm again and quickly deleted that message just as Drew was walking out of the bathroom. I replied saying that he was back, hoping that he would take the hint and behave for the rest of the night. He replied saying “ok, text me when your not banging!” I chuckled to myself and hid the message before Drew could read it.
He laid me on the bed and began to massage some deep heat into my back, stopping every so often to blow gently on my skin to intensify the feeling. I could feel his large hands slowly working their way further down my back before reaching down onto my thighs. He started to work, kneading deep into the tissue and then slipped his thumb in-between my legs.
I could feel myself starting to get wet, which he had also noticed and rapidly took advantage of the situation. With me still laid on my front from the massage, he rammed his tongue into my lips and began licking at my juices. I groaned with pleasure and glimpsed behind me to give him a dirty look which he seemed to enjoy. He turned me over and began to strip his own clothes revealing his large throbbing cock. He reached over and grabbed a fresh condom from the box and placed it over his bell end. He lay beside me and started to spoon me digging in real deep. He used such force that I had to clutch onto the bed sheet to stop myself from falling off the edge!

Caught in the Act!

2008-01-06T13:27:00.000Z

Oh my God, Jenny knows about last night, and how much else she knows, I am oblivious! I was thrilled to see her name on my inbox when I woke up this morning as I haven’t heard from her for nearly a month, however my stomach went through the floor when I read the message.
“Hey hun. I hear that you have been having phone sex with my husband. How is the leg doing?” No kiss at the end, she really must be pissed off and I don’t blame her. Shit, what do you reply to that when you have just been caught cheating with one of your best mates husbands who you happen to have had a threesome with not long ago?! Bloody hell, what a mess!
I sat staring blankly at my phone for what seemed like an age. Shit. Seriously, what am I supposed to say?! “Hey honey, the legs doing great thanks and by the way, yes I am having an affair with your husband. See you soon mate!” No, I couldn’t put that. Firstly, I need to find out how much she knows and how!
I text Lou and he obviously wasn’t in the best of moods and he basically said she was being nosey and he told her that she had pissed him off. Apparently she only read the last message he sent me which could have been one saying he was mopping up his mess or the more innocent saying he was going to sleep but with lots of kisses.
Jenny then sent me another message explaining that she was sat right next to Lou and that she has read everything including what I was sending him now! Doh! How much of a plum did I feel? She added on the end “Why have you gone all shy? It’s not like you haven’t done it before!” Again, no kiss, this was bad, very bad. And what the hell does she mean “not like you haven’t done it before?!” Was she suggesting that I am a complete hussy and have led many husbands astray? Or does she know it wasn’t my first time having phone sex with Lou? Or maybe something else?
I had to try and figure out what was going on, swallowed hard and text Lou. “Tell me the truth, is Jen sat next to you?” “Yes” Shit. She wasn’t trying to trick me then and oh my God! What do I do?!!!
Next thing I know, she has sent me another message, “Hey mate, I am not offended that you text Lou. I found it really funny that he could have waited for me to get home! Sorry to put you in the middle! X” There’s a kiss, that’s promising, but “not offended”, what the fuck?! Unless perhaps she is trying to lull me into a false sense of security and is either going to invite me over or come here and beat the crap out of me? No Kelly, stop being paranoid!
I managed to gather all of my courage and compose a message. “I don’t believe that you are not offended. Yes I had text sex but that’s it. I know I am a crap friend for it and believe me, I feel shit. I’m sorry. X” I think I came across as well as I could in the circumstances!
Then came the phone call. Private number flashed up on the screen and I didn’t even need to think about who it could be, I knew it would be Jenny. I took a deep breath and answered it. There she was with her chirpy voice saying that she honestly didn’t mind! This was very different to the woman who only a few months ago was giving me the third degree about whether I had ever had feelings for her husband, and here she is now telling me this was fine?! I have never felt so confused.
Whilst I was on the phone to Jenny, Lou was texting me on my other number from upstairs. We were both saying how bizarre her reaction was and neither of us could predict what she would do next. However to both of our surprise, she just chatted on the phone to me full of smiles and just like a normal friendly chat. I have never felt so confused. Later Lou text me saying that if Jenny invited me over then I was to say yes and he would try to talk her into having another threesome. I really didn’t think that would be wise considering the circumstances! And thankfully she didn’t ask. I don’t know whether he tried to talk her round during the day or not, however it wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest if he tried. But he did say that he would try to come over tomorrow to see me.

2008-01-05T13:26:00.000Z

I have a busy day ahead for once! I’ve managed to convince mum to drive me over to Bridgwater to see my boys in the shop and then onto Taunton, firstly to give Lou Dale’s car seat and then into the town centre to give Sasha her bags back.
It was the first time I had been to my own store in about five months! It was still standing and the shop floor didn’t look too bad thank God. I managed to truly freak out my new manager with my leg which I found highly amusing!
We then went on to the tip to see Lou. When we arrived, I got out of the car in the hope that mum would stay in it so that I could talk to Lou alone, but no, typically with my luck, mum stepped out of the car also. I didn’t know what to talk about with L, I sensed that he didn’t either as he kept looking around everywhere but at me. He later revealed to me that he couldn’t look directly at me as it was making him hard! We handed over the car seat and made a few quips about how he should leave it at work (the tip) as it looked as if it belonged there!
Following the visit to Lou, we went into town to see Sasha at work (and to deliver her bags). Whilst there the latest addition to the store team didn’t give off the best impression to me. She is supposed to be every managers dream and according to the Taunton manager, the best thing since sliced bread! Sasha’s allegations against her (to me) were proved right when I was in store, that she was constantly on the phone (non work related calls) and that she really doesn’t care for the job! Everyone can see that she is bad for the job, except for the manager! I am sure that the relevant people will realise when the shop starts to go tits up, which I predict won’t be long.
That night Lou started to text me. He started off by telling me about a huge row he and Jenny had just had resulting in her disappearing to a friend’s house! It was their usual argument about how Lou works his ass off to give her and the kids a comfy life however Jen sits around not doing much to help out, despite being a stay at home mum! I hate to say it, but it’s true. She really could do more at home. I know I should practice what I preach and believe me over the next few days I will definitely be changing that!
He soon moved the conversation onto sex and babies. He seems determined to have another baby, but with me. I’m not so sure that I could have a kid with a lying, cheating, scumbag, because at the end of the day, that’s what he is. We text for a couple of hours teasing and pleasing each other and generally having great text sex.
Things I really must do - Like yesterday or tomorrow will have to do!
Change bed sheets - cat peed on the bed earlier, so is now urgent!
Finish cleaning bathroom - Only the bath, tiles and floor to go!
Hoover my room - Flaky skin shows up far too well on a dark green carpet!
Washing up - I am home all day long and really don’t have an excuse!
Pack for the midlands - Yay! Two nights away, now which toys shall I pack?!

Not the 2nd!!!

2008-01-03T13:23:00.000Z

Shit! I have just remembered Sasha’s (a very good friend I know through work) birthday. I figured I had better get online and e-mail her at least. It was whilst firing up the laptop that I suddenly twigged, what is today’s date?! I grabbed my phone and pushed down on the joystick waiting for the screen to power up and reveal the date and yes, there it was I had forgotten one of my best mates birthdays! As you can see above it is the 3rd, not the 2nd. Bugger! I swear this happens when you’re not working, you lose track of time, sanity and any form of normality you may or may not have had in the first place. I still sent her a belated birthday message by the ever-so faithful email system. Boy am I a crap friend or what?!
I decided that whilst I was online I had better check what appalling state my bank balance was in. After logging on, I had to do a double take! I had nearly £300 more than I had expected! Which was a very pleasant surprise considering the fact I didn’t even know what day it was five minutes ago! I loaded up the transaction page to find out where this mysterious money had come from, it was work, despite only paying me two weeks ago! The company had made major cock ups in the past whereby they had overpaid many employees, resulting in them having to pay back every single penny of the already spent money. I have had to deal with most of them, and believe me, it was not pretty. Now it was possibly happening to me and I wanted answers, fast!
I got on the phone to payroll and thoroughly confused the poor administrator on the other end of the phone, She ended up having to ask someone else and then read to me what had been written on my file. It turns out that this payment was to correct a previous cock up, sorry under-payment! Two weeks ago on the Christmas pay run, I looked at my payslip to discover that I was only being paid a third of what I had normally been getting whilst on sick leave. The company have obviously now realised their mistake and have corrected it, however still leaving me one day out of pocket. I was told that this was due to a missing sick note for just one day! This seems completely bizarre as it was for a Tuesday despite me always getting my sick notes to run from the Monday.

Four Potential Lovers - Eeek!

2008-01-02T13:22:00.000Z

Managed to sleep until lunchtime today, which was much needed sleep! When I woke I had a couple of text messages waiting on my phone which thankfully didn’t wake me.
The first was from Tim. “Sweety please send me a pic of your boobs I’ll do anything x” He had sent this at quarter past eight in the morning so he must be desperate! It was only a few days ago that I had sent him a message saying that we needed to “just be friends”, how many friends send each other pictures of their private parts?! I actually managed to ignore that message, which I was very proud of myself for!
Later, Callum text me. “Hi Kell. Happy new year. Nearly got into trouble the other night. Should no better at my age! Haha. Text again soon as I’m working.” He was certainly right there! It turned out his wife came downstairs just as he was putting his work/flirt phone away and got suspicious. Really need to calm down the messages to him again.
Drew text me with his usual morning message asking how I had slept, I told him about the cat having cystitis and said I was glad to have the house to myself again (mum had gone back to work today). We spoke on the phone later in the day when he was on his way home from work. He kept getting cut off due to his rubbish network and after the third time I gave up and simply sent him a message saying “Your phone is shit!”
Also, Lou text me. It all started with me sending him an easy message asking if he knew anyone selling any cheap fridges and his response included his typical question, What are you up to? I told him that I was laid in bed with a head ache, I promise I had meant that message to be innocent!
Lou - “Headaches best cure is sex. You should have a play before sleep. You ok?”
Me - “LOL! Like the advise. Other than my headache I’m fine thanks!”
Lou - “Jen’s just gone to bed thank God. Doing my head in. Just stoked the fire up. Wish I was there now with you. Was so bitter today glad to be in the warm now though! When are you going to the midlands?”
Me - “Monday at some point. Not sure if Drew is picking me up during the day or in the evening, so you could still come over? What’s Jennie been doing?”
Lou - “Not a lot, that’s the prob. I’m bustin a gut out in the freezing cold and she hasn’t done the basics at home. I will try to come over, I’ve got a good excuse as I have to drop some bits off with a mate. Just hope she doesn’t put a dampener on it. I bet having the front door working has made a difference over the last few days?”
Me - “Hell yeah! Mum really appreciates it.”
Lou - “Its surprising how much it keeps the heat in. Can’t wait to heat me and you up! Just wanna be deep in you cuddled up.”
Me - “You’re gonna get me wet again Mr! Love it when your in real deep.”
Lou - “Oh yes! Should be special for us I’m holding back my best swimmers! Long time no see but I guarantee it will be worth it!”
He always ends up talking about having babies. Unfortunately he knows it is my major weakness and that it will draw me in that little bit more when he promises me babies and support. Argh! I must stay strong!
Oh dear, that’s four potential lovers I currently have in tow and all of which have contacted me in one day. Thankfully I didn’t respond to one of them! However I only have real deep feelings for one of them, Drew.

New Years! Woohoo! I'm not drunk - not woohoo!

2008-01-01T03:00:00.000Z

It has been the usual day... Sitting around in bed, watching TV, surfing the internet, doing bugger all basically. I looked into car-sharing schemes in Somerset, only to find that your company had to be a part of it, which mine typically isn’t. There goes my idea of trying to minimise my own carbon footprint in the new year.
However the night had gotten much more interesting (for several reasons!). At midnight mum and I stood in my window watching the fireworks across the whole town from my window. A couple of our neighbours were doing their usual thing and firing them in their front garden which is the size of the average garden shed/ half the size of a garage. They were typically being rather idiotic and standing only a few feet away from the launch site, the guy didn’t even move away when one firework went straight at him!
We have discovered today that the cat has cystitis. I never even knew they could get it! However, she was quite happily crouching on the beds and anywhere upstairs and desperately trying to pee. Thankfully only little dribbles got onto the beds, but it’s still rather annoying and she managed to keep both myself and mum up all night.
I had some rather mysterious text messages throughout the New years celebrations from numbers which I did not have saved on my phone. I had 3 different people in all who were texting me. I responded to two of the numbers asking who they were, how they got my number and who they were trying to contact. Unfortunately neither would give me a straight answer. They both claim to have been sending group texts which is absolute bull seeing as how they appeared to be very individual messages! One was asking “Have you gone back to yours?” and another was “Hooray, I’m sat on Neil’s sofa. All seems well so far.” The second one was from someone called Neil, very bizarre as he was referring to himself in the third person! It wouldn’t surprise me if Dale has been handing out my number. I may send someone on a tour of Taunton phone boxes to check if my number has been put up in them!

Ex problems...again

2007-12-28T13:17:00.000Z

Yay! Drew is coming over today!!! I have been awake since 5 am unable to sleep due to my excitement. How sad it is that I am getting excited about someone coming over for the day when we probably won’t say anything to each other for the majority of the day and will just lie there cuddling. I love his company though it has to be said. I feel so safe and secure when I am in his arms and I hate to say it, but I could easily fall asleep in his embrace! Which is a good thing as it shows how safe I feel and that I can be 100 percent relaxed around him!
This morning Richard phoned and left a voice mail to say that he could come over and pick it up if I wanted him to. This was not ideal as Drew was just about to step in through the front door (quite literally) and mum was still adamant that her and my dad would take it over to him and have a word with Dale. So I called the minister back and explained that mum and dad would be dropping it round to Dale and we wouldn’t need to involve him, next thing I know he is offering to come and see me as a friend and a minister to see how I was doing, so I had to make my excuses as to why he couldn’t visit today! I felt terrible as I hadn’t seen him for quite a few weeks and could do with a friend from the past to talk to.
Drew was just walking up the stairs whilst I was on the phone to Richard and knew that he had to stay quiet. When the phone call was over I sat on the end of my bed, he walked in and he said how cute I look when I’m sleepy. I instantly argued this point and took a quick glimpse in the mirror, Oh my God! Was he taking the piss?! I looked as though I had been dragged through a hedge backwards! I was not as amused by my appearance as he was and attempted to tame my wild hair with my fingers but to no avail and soon gave up trying.
We laid on my bed chatting and joking around, I was still pinning my hopes on mum going into town later in the day so that we could have a little more intimate fun. Drew was trying to wind me up about this by saying how she would end up changing her mind and leaving it later and later in the day before leaving. I was trying to remain positive and kept repeating “She will be going out, just not yet that’s all!” It was just then that I noticed it starting to rain, not very promising when mother was due to go and stand at the bus stop before going shopping, my heart plummeted and I finally decided to find out when she was to leave.
I walked over to mum’s office and stood chatting to her briefly about Dale and the mornings antics. I had gone to talk to her with a mission...to find out when she would be going out! She explained to me that he had text her saying that I was a heroine and cocaine addict, which thankfully she didn’t believe. If she knew about my past it would crush her. We managed to laugh off the accusation and I hoped that my nervousness and panic didn’t show, I soon dropped into conversation that mum was supposed to be going out and I asked her what time she intended on leaving as a bus was due in five minutes. She didn’t look too suspicious and just said that she was going to make some sandwiches and then would go to the bus stop beside our house.
I retreated back to my room where Drew was laid waiting for me. I told him about Dale’s latest accusations about me and that my mum appeared to be upset but I didn’t think that she had believed it. He soon put my mind at ease and made me forget the ordeal by rubbing my clit. He made me feel so horny so fast, I thought I was going to explode! He had to stop when he heard my mum walking up the stairs to deliver us some sandwiches! He only ever seems to move quickly when he hears my mum near the door, but it provides some good amusement for me all the same!
Whilst we ate, we chatted and giggled like a pair of naughty teenagers. Neither of us could wait until mum had left the house as it would mean we could do what ever we pleased and make plenty of noise and not worry about my poor mothers opinion of me! When we heard the front door close behind her, we both sighed with relief and his hand soon got to work as we cuddled on the bed. He was pushing and rubbing so fast and deep I could feel all of my nerves come to life, within seconds I was sopping wet. He made me come each time he bent his finger up and brushed against my g-spot.
Soon enough we were both stripping off and flinging our clothes across the room, both equally hungry for each others comfort. He was already hard and ripped open the condom wrapper with his teeth and through it to one side whilst slipping the latex over the tip of his member, he rolled it down the long fat shaft and laid behind me. He started to rub my clit again so that he could prolong his stiffy and soon shuffled nearer to me. I felt him slip in and he started to pump into me. I pushed back against him with as much as force as I could physically muster enjoying the feeling of having a big strong man inside of me again. I had been waiting for this for so long and could feel myself relaxing and melting into his body.
Following our “moment” together, we lay cuddling and finishing off the Doritos mum had left in my room for us. Before I knew it he had to leave. He was due to pick up his mum and her friends at 4 pm and it was already twenty past! I understood and sat up in the bed giving him my naughtiest look as he walked away from my room lingering for that extra minute. When I heard the door click shut I breathed out and picked up my phone writing out a text message as fast as I could saying “Thank you, that was amazing! xxx”
I spoke with mum later on her return from town, regarding her conversations with Dale from that morning. She had tried to speak to him on the phone to say that it wasn’t convenient to deliver the car seat this weekend and he would have to wait for it. As per usual the conversation soon developed into an argument, I don’t know what he was saying as I could only hear part of mum’s side of the conversation, these are the only bits that I remember.
Mum: It’s not convenient for us to get the car seat to you this weekend, also the kid is too big for this one, he only needs a booster seat now. You have been asked twice by the solicitor to stop contacting Kelly as it upsets her.
Following this comment he said “It’s because she’s got a new boyfriend!”
Mum: Don’t be stupid, she doesn’t have a boyfriend. She left you because of your drug taking, why can’t you just realise that?
After mum said boyfriend, Dale had hung up, which was typical of him as he never seems to like hearing the truth especially when it involves him. They then played text tennis for a while
Mum: “No she hasn’t, You’re not to keep ringing because it upsets her”
Dale: “She does have a boyfriend its on Face Book and she has been seeing him before she left.”
Mum: “Just because she has male friends doesn’t mean they are boyfriends. Do not judge my daughter by your own standards.”
Dale: “It says she has a new boyfriend and I’ve been told by friends it’s true she has lied to you my standards are alot higher that skellys ever were she even had sex with her boss the second time she met him”
Mum: “You are completely deluded. Kelly left you because of your drug taking. Take some responsibility for your own faults.”
Dale: “And what about her heroin and cocaine addiction. Thats why she never had money”
Mum: “I have two words for you and the second one is off”
Dale: “The truth hurts doesn’t it.”
I could have happily throttled him after reading these messages. Mum was unaware that I had taken drugs in the past and especially did not know that I had a brief heroin addiction. I had never gotten into any financial difficulties because of drugs. The cocaine part was completely made up, I had only ever tried it once and hated every minute of it. Thankfully mum didn’t believe this accusation, it was the one thing I had ever lied to my mum about and I felt terrible for doing it, however I was doing it to protect her, it would destroy her if she knew what I used to do, even though it was over and finished with years ago.

Pornographic Friendship? Not gonna work!

2007-12-27T13:16:00.000Z

I am absolutely gutted! Mum has now informed me that she is no longer going to Exeter tomorrow. She also added “That hasn’t ruined any of your plans has it?”
“Nope, don’t worry about it” was my response. “Of course it bloody has! I wanted a good shagging, do you know how long it’s been?! I can’t take much more!!!” Is what I should have said, but I didn’t think that would go down too well! She would probably never leave Drew and I alone in a room again!
I made a start on Richard Hammond’s book today so that I could get one out of the way, plus I know that mum will want to read this one! I must say, it appears to be a good read and I couldn’t put it down!
Later, I text Drew to make him aware of the changes to tomorrows schedule and his response was “You’ll have to keep your moaning down then!” I was so looking forward to finally being able to scream out as well! He then suggested having sex bent over the (very creaky and old) bed, I think (hope) he was joking - what with my leg!
At about 9 pm Tim started to text yet again. He was doing his usual thing and going on about being lonely and desperately trying to flatter me (he knows compliments are my weakness!) and to win me back. I had to tell him that I don’t believe long distance works and that we would have to stay as friends. Next thing I know, he is demanding a picture and quite happily sending me one of his fat knob. I don’t think he quite understands how to be friends with a female without the need to shag!
I sent him one picture back of my dripping pussy and said to him that was all he would be getting (ever) and that we had to remain as friends not partners. He ended it by saying “OK, change baby to sweetie. Night buddy.” When will he ever give up?!

Boxing Day with a very Spoilt child

2007-12-26T13:15:00.000Z

I woke at 4 am, got back to sleep at 7:30 am and my alarm went off at 8:30 am! Bloody insomnia!!! So after only 2 hours sleep I grudgingly emerged from my pit to wake mother from her slumber, for today we are due at my uncles for about 10:30 am. I only realised as we were getting ready, the reason Uncle Steven wanted us over so early was because we are usually late for any gatherings!
We arrived to see Nan and Grandad sat on the floor playing games with Thomas, my 2 year old cousin (and an only child, very spoilt!). We all sat helping him play a game where butterflies fly up and out of an elephants truck and you had to catch them in nets, although he only seemed interested in watching them fly up and fall down!
At lunchtime we (the guests) were all shocked at the lack of discipline they were giving to Thomas. First of all he couldn’t decide which seat he wanted and was swapping for about 10 minutes whilst Uncle Steven looked on. Even whilst we were all eatting, he was more interested in trying to sit on his mum’s lap or get down to have a little run around, but the worst part about it the meal was when Thomas decided to chew all of his food up and spit it out onto the floor. His parents simply went and got a tissue to clear it up, no stern words said, no hands across bottoms, no nothing!
Crikey, if he was my son, I would have very sternly told him off, lectured him about good manners when you have guests and made him apologise to everyone present. And not only that but he would also be sat in a high chair! That way, you can still involve the child with the rest of the group and stop him from running about and trying to escape, well almost anyway!
Following lunch, we all exchanged gifts. My Nan gave me a a book, a DVD game and a purse, these were all taken from my online Christmas list. I was rather disappointed to see that the purse was actually red! I was sure, when making the list online, that it was pink! My uncle also got me a book, it’s a good job I am off work for the next few months as my reading pile has now grown dramatically!

Christmas Day Affairs Revolution

2007-12-25T13:14:00.000Z

Drew came over at half nine to exchange gifts with each other, I didn’t tell him that I had barely slept and could have done with a couple of hours extra sleeping! He got me a lilac scarf (although I only ever wear pink), pink super soft gloves, a bumper book of Sudoku, Desperate Housewives (DVD set), a mint chocolate orange (as I am allergic to orange), “Jiggleballs” - Ann Summers version of love balls/eggs and a Sex Bible. He also gave my mum a box of chocolates which was very sweet as neither of us had expected him to have bought her anything and mum hadn’t gotten him anything. Thinking about it we should have offered him some cake.
I got him a travelling Honey pot (fake vagina designed to look like a torch), Build your own Lamborghini and the Revolver (another of Ann Summer’s explicit male sex toys). Drew only stayed for an hour before having to rush off to his family gathering.
All round a good visit!
Mum got me a game for the Play station and the DVD of Hairspray. My brother (or rather his girlfriend) had bought me perfume despite never exchanging gifts. Mum and I watched Hairspray later whilst eatting roast duck for lunch in mum’s room and spent most of the day playing the Sims Castaway and getting the courage to try out my balls!
Lou text me tonight, implying that he wants to continue the affair, he obviously didn’t pay any attention to Eastenders tonight as Max and Stacey’s affair was revealed resulting in loss of family, blood and extended. I have now decided that next time he can be bothered to come over I shall allow him to do the 45 minute drive, look absolutely stunning, but not allow him to have me! It will be hard (especially him!) but I am strong enough, mainly because he has pissed me off so much but hey! He’s had plenty of chances but now he’s lost me, he even knows that I am beginning to get emotionally involved with Drew, his best mate, so it’s tough luck on Lou’s part.
Just after the barrage of filthy messages from Lou, Jen text me to thank me for their presents and to say that the kids loved them. Again I felt that now familiar pang of guilt.
I ended up texting Drew to say I was glad I saw him today, and that all I really wanted for Christmas was him. I was trying to drop him a hint of how I felt for him without saying those three words. I. Love. You.

Christmas Eve

2007-12-24T13:13:00.000Z

I have finally gotten home from what can only be described as a very bizarre night out! My brother Lucas picked me up at half nine to take me to the pub, however he had to go around town delivering some Christmas cards first. I was happy to go with him as it was getting me out of my bedroom and we had a lot to catch up with. It was pretty normal except for the fact that he didn’t want to be seen by any of his recipients, and let me just say he would make both a terrible spy and burglar! It all got pretty amusing after he realised that he had delivered one card to the wrong address and had to race back home to get another card for her!
When we had finally finished the deliveries and he was satisfied that his driving had really scarred me for life, we headed to one of my local pubs. We got some very odd looks when we only ordered soft drinks, bearing in mind that it was very late on Christmas Eve! It also must have looked very strange with us two being out so late, neither of us have an exactly aging appearance, it must have looked like two kids in their mid teens who had escaped the family home for a Christmas drink!
I have now decided I am definitely not going to continue the feeble affair between myself and Lou. I had found out that despite him declaring his undying love for me and asking if he could live with me (at mums house) once he had left Jennie just after Christmas, that he had bought Jen concert tickets for next summer! Very strange, I think that if I was to continue with the relationship and make a go of things with him then he would end up cheating on me and get back with Jennie. I can’t go through that and I certainly will not continue to put Jennie through it.
New years resolution - Stop attracting/flirting/encouraging married men, no matter how attractive or nice they are nor how much they offer me! - Especially friends husbands!!!Christ

2007-12-23T13:12:00.000Z

I may actually have a social life this week! My brother text me earlier today to let me know that he would be spending Christmas back in Yeovil and did I want to meet up? Of course I wasn’t going to turn down his offer, anything to escape these four walls! So it was decided, tomorrow night he would take me out to a local pub, should be interesting as neither of us have anything in common except for being bisexual!
On Christmas day mum and I are staying home to chill out for the day, as we do every other day of the year! Drew will be popping over for a short while to exchange gifts.
Boxing day will be spent with my mum’s parents over at my uncles house which will be very interesting as none of us have anything in common either! All of that side of my family are very posh and both myself and my mum struggle to find anything to talk about with them. It will be a long day!
I emailed Sarah from the Yeovil store this morning in desperation of an escape plan and she called me in the evening to discuss further. She has decided to leave her young daughter with her sister for the night and will take me to a pub just around the corner from my house. Should be fun as neither of us would be drinking! Sarah loves to play “pub sports” otherwise known as pool and darts and asked me if I would be able to shoot some pool. I figured I should be able to hop around the table and maybe even use my crutches as the pool cue! Also it meant that I would have an excuse for being completely useless at the game!
Sarah asked me how my recovery was going and I excitedly told her of today’s adventure, I had managed to hobble around the small block! She found this highly amusing - Bitch! Perhaps I should break her leg and see how she finds the long and tedious recovery?!

2007-12-22T13:10:00.000Z

Drew came over this morning for a couple of hours. He really cheered me up in more ways than one! I had informed him yesterday of the fact that today was “World Orgasm Day” and surprisingly he hadn’t forgotten and was determined to let me get in on the action! Unfortunately mum was at home, so we couldn’t exactly “get jiggy with it”, however we improvised, or rather he did! His hand managed to creep down to my already wet pussy and teased my clit. I wanted to scream as his fingers twitched inside me, but had to suffice with biting down on his shoulder, I had to leave my mark somehow! We leapt apart when we heard something near the door, we both thought that my mother was going to come bursting through the door at any moment, however was somehow glad that it was the cat who broke in and pushed the door wide open! I rapidly covered up and that was obviously the end of our fun for the time being.
After Drew had left my best friend, Leah, phoned me for a chat and to see how my recovery was going. We hadn’t spoken for a couple of weeks, so both had plenty to talk about to fill in the gaps! She mentioned at the end of the call that it was Callum’s 40th birthday soon. She is completely oblivious to mine and Callum’s near history and is also unaware that he fancies me. Following our conversation I decided to text Cal to wish him a happy birthday and to wind him up about the milestone! He then phoned me. We just chatted about my break up from Dale and Leah’s brothers approaching wedding and baby (neither of us can quite believe it!). He also mentioned how he had missed talking to me as he had deleted my number to avoid temptation and to evade the risk of Dale finding any messages. We agreed that we could text each other, however must not allow it to get too frisky as it used to.
Later my phone rang again (my, I was popular today!) and when I saw the name my heart plummeted, along with my stomach. Dale. I took a deep breath and did the usual, pressed silent. I waited for what seemed a lifetime before the message came through and listened feeling rather sick.
“I need the child (car) seat. You have a week to deliver it to me otherwise I will have no choice but to report it to the police as stolen.”
I felt terrified as I knew he was friends with several local policemen. But how ridiculous! The car seat he is referring to is a crappy polystyrene block that loosely resembles a child’s car seat, it is not even the right size for the kid! I imagine it would probably be worth no more than a couple of quid and that the police would simply laugh him out of the station, but it’s just the thought of having police coming knocking on my door to arrest me! I am not the sort of girl who would ever get arrested!!!
I phoned up Rich, our minister, to inform him of the phone call which he laughed about and said that he was still very much delirious about the whole situation. Richard told me how him and Dale weren’t exactly on friendly terms at present and it would appear that Dale has also now fallen out with the couple from upstairs. He went on to explain that he had been out bowling with the church and the couple in question were at the alley and didn’t seem too keen on discussing Dale, not in a friendly manner anyway. Rich ended the call saying that he would try to find someone to come over and collect the kids car seat.
Later in the evening my work phone beeped at me saying I had a message, I half expected it to be Drew as he usually texts me on this number, however it was Tim. What is it about this time of the year that brings exes out of the wood work?! This was the third ex to contact me today!
Tim - “Hey how are you? x”
Me - “I’m ok thanks, and you? x”
Tim - “Yeah I’m cool. Howz love life and stuff? x”
Me - “All ok. Going out on a date in a min. But I wil be taking things slow this time! My leg is still in the cage for another two and a half months. And you? x”
Tim - “Still alone x see should have stayed with me x”
Me - “Yes but it would have been difficult getting together especially with me not driving at the mo. I saw that my ex-husband contacted you. Has he hassled you since? x”
Tim - “No lol”
Me - “Good! Thanks for saying what you did. x”
Tim - “That’s ok.”
Soon after that tennis match of messages, Drew arrived to take me out to the cinema. We went to see the new Disney film, Enchanted, I didn’t think that he would be into that sort of film, but he seemed to enjoy it. Either that or he made out he did to impress me! Whilst we were in the cinema he had his hand on my leg slowly stroking me when I stretched my leg out. As I did this there was an almighty “Twang” noise and he jumped a mile! I had never seen his hand move away so fast (not even when we thought mum was going to walk in!). I was creased up with laughter as I tried to explain (quietly) that my skirt had caught on the cage, but that I was fine and didn’t feel it. It took a while for me to stop laughing, I seem to have a slight problem whereas if I start laughing at something, I generally don’t stop!
When we got home Drew came in and we sat in the lounge having a drink and chatting. Mum came downstairs to greet us and asked if I wanted anything to eat. All I said was “Not at the moment, but I might have a nibble on something in a while.” She obviously took this the wrong way and rushed back upstairs saying that she would leave us to it! It’s no wonder I have a filthy mind!!!
Drew said that he was going over to Jennie and Lou’s house tomorrow, so I made the most of the opportunity and asked him to play Santa and deliver their gifts for me. He was fine with that and left with a box full of Christmas presents.
I have now fathomed out my wages cock-up. A couple of months ago before my second operation, my regional manager had authorised me to go back to work for three weeks part time, however so that I could get paid, they had to reduce my contracted hours. It would appear that they have not raised my hours back to full time meaning that I am very much out of pocket. In order to get this corrected I have to ring the HR guy and payroll. Bloody typical that it has happened at this time of year, when Head Office shuts down for just over a week! Bah Humbug!!!
Much later, in the small hours of morning, Drew began texting me and we had text sex which cheered me up. Pity that mum was only in the next room, I couldn’t go all out with it!

Another Phone Call from the ex

2007-12-21T13:09:00.000Z

I have unfortunately had anther phone call from Dale today. As per my usual procedure, I let the voicemail answer the call and soon listened to the message. This time apparently “Jonathon is wanting his car-seat back, as you know the other one got burnt along with my car.”
I text Barry asking him if he could come over and collect it for me and didn’t hear back.

Much later on...

2007-12-20T13:08:00.000Z

I am furious! I emailed Drew the letter I had written him in the middle of the night as a nice gesture to make him feel a bit better as he was having a bad day. He ended up trying to argue because I had called him lovely and sweet and had complimented him throughout. I had half expected this reaction and soon gave up trying to convince him, I knew the truth... He was lovely and very sweet no matter what he says!
I mentioned to him in one email that I may go out for a hobble up to the local post box and he tried to crack a joke, “Don’t fall down any manholes!” I instantly replied with a line of question marks, I wanted to see if he would know that he had done wrong and if he was able to pick out where he had gone wrong. I then swapped the crisps I had been munching for a fag.
I cannot stand it when people make skinny jokes aimed at me. Especially by people I hold close to my heart. Thankfully he emailed me pretty quick to apologise and it was for the right reason too thank God! I apologised back to him as well for being so snappy about it and went on to explain my severe sense of humour failure. I had been battling with weight problems all my life and when I went into hospital earlier in the year I came out with an eatting disorder.
We soon forgave each other and all was well again. By the way, I still haven’t heard from Paul at Sugar Daddy, doubt I ever will either to be honest!

A Quick Run-down of Past Relationships

2007-12-20T13:07:00.000Z

Jim - When I was 13 I thought I was really grown up for having a boyfriend. I soon finished it with him when an innocent game of Monopoly nearly turned into a rape. The rumours soon got around my high school that he had raped me, when this was not the case. He just took things too far for me.
Brad - Again a high school romance. I think I was 15 at the time and starting to want a slightly physical relationship (kissing and maybe the odd fumble) by then. I finished it with him because he was too frigid and didn’t appear to want to be seen with me. After all this time, we now talk on line and are friends.
PC - We always had an on-off relationship through high school between the ages of 14 and 19/20. He ended up stalking me and used to travel 2 hours just to sit outside of my house. Nice. Strangely enough I don’t hear from him anymore!
Will - A local druggy who I thought I could change and help. I always had a soft spot for him as I knew that deep down that he was a softy. I couldn’t have been more naive even if I tried. I later found out that he had been drugging me and it was down to him that I became a heroin addict for a couple of months when I was 17.
Callum - My best friends very much married god father! Yes I really do attract them all and no it couldn’t be any more complicated! We ended up flirting (alot) and met up a couple of times, but we have never and will never have sex. I am very proud of myself about that, could have gotten very, very messy.
He is a lovely, bubbly guy though and a really good laugh to be around. He still fancies me, but we stopped texting each other when I got married. “It’s for the best etc.”
Tim - A guy I had a brief fling with from Bristol. He always expected me to travel the hour and a half journey to see him but never seemed willing to return the favour. He would use the excuse of not having enough money, however I could see his wages (through the means of work) and could see that it was not the case at all. He used to work in the Bristol store and each time I did a store visit or attended a meeting there since our break up, he would ignore me completely.
Kieron - A middle aged welsh shop fitter. He was doing up the store over the road from where I was working at the time and finally managed to convince me to go for a drink with him on his last night in town. I gave him my number and we flirted for quite a few weeks. I soon agreed to travel up north and spend a weekend with him, which is where I found out that he had a girlfriend and 2 young children back in Wales. Following that weekend I didn’t hear from him. Arsehole.
Dale - Met him online. Moved in with him three or four months later, got engaged seven months after meeting and was married one year and one month after meeting. Too fast, big mistake!
Found out he was smoking dope and he became a complete bastard and treated me and Jonathon like shit. I am now terrified of bumping into him on the street either on my own or with another man.
Drew - Well what can I say? He is the one I am currently in a tiz about! The only downside to him (so far) is his size and the fact he still lives with his ex. Other than that he treats me like a princess and is so lovely!

2007-12-20T13:06:00.000Z

Shit. I’m in love. I promised myself when I left my husband that I would stay single until the divorce was finalised for two reasons, one so he couldn’t divorce my ass for adultery and two, so I would have time to sort my head out. But as usual, I rush into things! Why can’t my life just be simple for 5 minutes? I mean seriously, why did Drew have to come along and make me feel like this now?!
I have only just realised my true feelings by the fact that I can’t stop thinking about him and now I can’t even sleep for the same reason! I have even just written him a letter rambling on about how amazing he really is.
I so wanted to actually live the single life, just for a while anyway, I never used to make the most of being single. I have never gotten glammed up and pulled a bloke in a club, that’s the one thing I wanted to do before “settling down” again, to have a proper one night stand. I had a sort-of one night stand a couple of years ago in Bristol…
I went up to the city for one of my monthly business meetings and went to the local pub after with one of the girls I had hitched a ride with. Whilst there we bumped into a couple of guys from the Bristol store. Kate knew them as she had spent a couple of weeks working in their store not long before, she introduced me to Tim and Mark. We were all getting along great and mostly chatting about work. I went off to go to the loos and on the way back downstairs I bumped into Tim. He said that he really liked me and would love to exchange numbers. Me being me (and extremely flattered) happily handed my phone number over when he started to kiss me passionately. He pushed me up against the wall in the stairwell and continued to kiss me whilst slipping his hand under my shirt. After our little fumble, I made my excuses and headed back to rejoin the others sat in the bar. Both Kate and Mark were completely oblivious to what I just encountered in the stairwell. When Tim reappeared, he kept on stroking my leg under the table and sending me messages saying “That was great” and “I can’t wait to see more of you”. I struggled to keep a straight face, but knew that I had to. Relationships within the company were a big no-no and we could both lose or jobs for it!
After our brief meeting, Tim and I text each other everyday. He soon asked me to come back up to Bristol so we could get to know each other better. I managed to convince my housemate and her boyfriend to drive me up there as I hate city driving. So, two weeks after meeting I found myself back in a big city with a practical stranger. We had a lift from the city centre back to his flat (which he shared with a woman from the store) and he led me upstairs into his room. I was a little disappointed to say the least! It was tiny, he didn’t even have a bed as such, more a mattress shoved on the floor which touched 3 of the walls!
At this point I must admit to you, dear reader, I was still a virgin. All right, stop laughing! I also told him at the same point. I was gutted that I would be losing my virginity in a disgusting little bed sit in Bristol! But stupidly I didn’t let that horrifying thought stop me from doing the deed! I won’t go into details on this occasion, but lets just put it this way... It was an embarrassing disaster.
On the way back home, my housemate worked out that Tim and I had know each other physically (not on the phone) for no more than 20 minutes before he got me into bed! Oh the shame.
After that night we only ever saw each other through work and it turned into a very bizarre relationship whereas he expected me to travel an hour and a half to see him, yet he was not willing to return the favour. I soon called it quits after he ignored me at the works Christmas party. Bastard.

Sugar Daddies

2007-12-17T13:05:00.000Z

Every-so-often when I get really bored, I will check a few dating sites. It was whilst I was doing this that I stumbled across a site called Sugar Daddy. To tell the truth I was looking up escort agencies to see if I could “make it” with my very average looks, it would appear that I could. Sugar Daddy just appeared as a pop up advert requesting rich men and “premier” women to sign up for their unique dating site.
I loaded up the web page, intrigued by what it could offer, in my eyes it was almost a step towards escorting, these guys would probably pay for almost anything. The way my mind was working, I could get paid for doing something I love and happen to currently be obsessed with! Surprisingly no ones profiles exactly jumped out at me, however I wanted a good time and some money fast! I made up my own profile with the site and I made sure it was a good one! I made the most of it being online and went 100% slutty!
Later in the day I received two emails, both from older men. One was in his late thirties and lived in London, he was requesting that I was to travel up to London and have a discreet relationship with him. I was a little frustrated as I believe that if it wasn’t for my current post-op status, he would have happily paid a nice sum to have an accessory to his marriage. I believed that my current status would be a major turn off to any man at present, therefore I didn’t reply to his email.
The other was from a near fifty year old called Paul and obviously had plenty of money (most of his photos were taken onboard a yaught). He seemed a really nice guy and we were flirting for the majority of the afternoon. He later offered to take me to a hotel in a rural town near London. This hotel was 5 star and even had private hot tubs on selected balconies!
I was over the moon, someone who had actually seen my photo wanted to whisk me away for a dirty weekend in a 5 star hotel!!! That was when I decided I probably ought to tell him about my recent surgery. He said that he was fine with it and that we would just have to avoid the hot tub! Somehow I didn’t quite believe him and haven’t heard from him since. Strange that.

Mischievious Pussy

2007-12-12T13:03:00.000Z

The cat has just caught me masturbating, when I say caught I mean in the literal sense of the word! I thought she was curled up on the end of my bed, but no, she was watching every slight movement and pelvic thrust and soon pounced on my hand through the duvet! That soon put an end to that spot of fun eh?! Please, no jokes about troublesome pussies.
She has now ventured downstairs and I can hear her frantically scrabbling at the kitchen door. Bloody cat.

2007-12-11T21:07:00.000Z

Yesterday I was feeling rather energetic and managed to relieve some of my OCD and I finally cleaned the kitchen! I felt so much better after, I cannot begin to tell you how good it felt! I could relax and happily lounge around in bed knowing that downstairs was sparkling. Sad I know!
Later on in the afternoon, mum came home to take me out to the local hospital for my weekly torture (sorry, physiotherapy) session. We turned into the road leading to the hospital to be greeted by a tail back of traffic going up to the car park. Bugger! I suddenly remembered mum has a friend who lives nearby and is always saying to park on his drive, worth a try I said! We pulled up outside his house and mum rang him to make sure it was OK, which it was of course! We hobbled down the road to the physiotherapy department (mum has a sympathy limp). We both walked in sniggering about the looks I was getting. It is as though people are desperately trying not to look, yet they are still trying to sneak a look at my leg. They don’t seem to realise that they may as well be staring at my leg on their hands and knees with a great big sign stuck to their foreheads saying “I’m looking at your leg.”
When we went in, the physiotherapist made me do some exercises using the fitness ball. I had to lay on my back (wouldn’t have minded being in this position so much if she was better looking) and roll the ball around with my feet. I would have much rather had balls in-between my legs right now (what?! It’s been a while!), then she suggested the bike! Mum and I looked at each other both looking vaguely amused by this suggestion. I just about managed to hop onto the bike and had to cycle extremely bow legged! I was only on level one but it felt really difficult all the same! By the end of my session, I was ready for a long hot bath and bed.

2007-12-08T21:06:00.000Z

I woke up to my phone ringing, I glimpsed at the name on screen... Dale Forth, my soon to be ex husband. I instantly pressed the silence button and let the voicemail pick up the call.
I can’t be doing with the hassle and harassment from him, not today. For today is the second anniversary for my first miscarriage, it was only back then that I realised that I do want children of my own and last year I had a second miscarriage, somewhat dashing my hopes of ever becoming a mother.
I listened to the voicemail immediately after he hung up and it was as follows...
Dale (very aggressive tone) - “Will you stop removing my friends from Face Book, it’s very childish”
After listening to this I soon became angry, annoyed, confused and quite frankly pissed off. Whenever I view his account, I am there purely as a spectator. I only read what he has been writing and have never ever done anything nor will I ever do anything to the account. I know that if I was ever to do anything on his account it would blow my cover and put me in a very tight spot indeed. He doesn’t even know that I am aware of his login details, well not for sure anyway. If he had any sense, he would change his password as he had advised me to do the same when he was snooping on my e-mails. Anyhow, why would I want to remove his friends? What’s the point? And he thinks I’m childish?! Perhaps he ought to take a look in the mirror!
It then dawned on me, perhaps he was referring to my friends and work colleagues. Within the first couple of months of splitting up I had noticed that he was adding all of my friends and work colleagues to his account (including one of my ex's). I had e-mailed all of them warning them all that he was my husband (in case they thought it was someone else) and made them all aware that we had split up and he was a little bitter. I also included on the e-mail to them all that Dale was trying to spread shit about me and generally make my life hell. They all responded very well and immediately removed him from their lists. But he can’t blame me for that, it was other people doing it, not me personally! There is no way that I have physically done that myself. Could that be what he meant?
Soon after the call I logged onto his account to have a look for myself. I wanted to try to get to the bottom of the call. I immediately saw something that made my blood boil. Hubby had changed his status to “I am annoyed that Skelly the Guy has removed my friends from Face Book... Wot a sad act she is.”
Skelly was a nickname that the Goth’s used to call me, mostly referring to my skinny, skeletal frame. Never a good thing having the name Kelly, the only words that rhyme are horrible! Dale always knew that this name upset me and would always stand up for me whenever they said it. Now obviously the tables have turned and he is using it as the latest ammunition against me.
I hate the way he is making up these pathetic lies about me, especially online where thousands, no millions of people can read it including all of our friends. I am just extremely lucky that the vast majority of our friends know that I am not like that and are sticking by me throughout this.
I checked his “recently added friends” to see whether he had re-added the friends I was supposed to of removed yet. The only additional one was Karen, who he had blocked and removed himself a couple of weeks ago.
I took a peek at his inbox as I wanted to see if he had e-mailed them, which it turns out he had. There were two sent messages to a couple of young girls we go to church with. Both e-mails said the exact same thing, “Hi, I have seen that you have removed me as a friend. Have I done something to upset you? Please let me know.”
These girls are no more than 16 years old. I remember the last time Richard came over, he mentioned that he had noticed Dale had added a few of the younger girls from church as his friends on Face Book which he was slightly concerned about. Barry had said the exact same thing to me just a few weeks before. Rich had told me that he was worried that Dale would “prey” on the younger generations as I was half his age and was clearly what he preferred sexually.
Dale has still not received a reply from either of the girls and I seriously doubt he will if Richard has spoken to them and that could possibly be the reason they have removed him.

2007-12-07T21:05:00.000Z

I hadn’t heard from Lou all day, so I rang him at quarter past 6 as I knew that he would just be finishing at work and away from prying ears. He said that he was just locking up the site and would go home and clean up, then leave to come and get me.
At half 7 my phone rang. It was Lou, “You won’t believe this, I got home to find Jennie stood on the drive waiting for me with her car keys in her hand, then she just went off saying she had to go over to fix her grandfathers TV! Which means I am now stuck at home with the kids.” He started to ramble on about something else but I could barely hear him due to a bad connection. He said that Jennie should only be 15 minutes and if she was he would be straight over.
This was just typical of Lou, unreliable as ever. This is one of the reasons I cannot see us having a proper relationship. He’s damn useful when he’s here though, and I must say, he is the best I have ever had by far!

2007-12-06T21:02:00.000Z

Don’t you just hate it when the man in a relationship always wants you to make the decisions? I know that I do, with a passion in fact.
This evening Drew rang me to say that he had his final exam on Saturday morning and on his way back home (from college in the midlands) he would stop in and spend the afternoon with me. However, I had to decide what we were going to be doing for the afternoon. Obviously I objected to this comment, but he was having none of it. I had to decide and that was that.
I later sent him a message saying “I am really not worried about where we go. I have nowhere in particular in mind”
Drew - “You can decide sweetheart... Sure you will think of somewhere! If not I am happy to be anywhere with you.”
Me - “I used to go to a pub in Trent, haven’t been there since it changed hands though. I can show you where I grew up.”
Drew - “Yeah if that’s what you fancy sweetheart. At last a woman who has made a decision! Miracle!”
Me - “Shut up! You have to promise me that you will decide where we go next time.”
Drew - “No”
Me - “Yes. Either that or you have to admit that you are sweet and lovely!!!”
Drew - “I’ll think about the place for next time... think about it only! Doctor’s orders! Doctor thinks you need a thorough examination.”
Me - “No. That was not one of the options! You will decide where we are going next time!”
Drew - “I know where I want to go next time.......!
Me - “Let me guess... Bed?!”
Drew - “Doesn’t have to be in bed... just in you! ;-)”

Just then Lou started to text me. He was laid in bed so that he could escape the pointless bickering between him and Jennie. He was having a play (why else would he text me!). I was determined not to respond to his requests, I had gone for a few weeks without hearing from him, so why should I need to start now? But as always, I soon gave into temptation. He had supposedly sent me a picture message and was desperately trying to get me to send him one back. I refused to give in until I had received his, for all I knew it could have been Jennie texting me trying to catch us out.
Only then did I start the flirting. I know that I shouldn’t encourage him, he is married to one of my friends after all, but I just can’t help myself. We agreed later that he would come over tomorrow and we would go some where in the car to continue our physical friendship, our reason would be late night Christmas shopping; this is what we were “supposed” to be doing tonight, however I am still not feeling quite right.

3am bug

2007-12-05T21:00:00.000Z

Just woken up with a really weird feeling in my stomach. I felt sick if I was laid down but felt as if I really needed the toilet when I sat up. I sat still fanning myself for 5 minutes. Then I heard the toilet flush and out came mum, she was in the same boat. It must have been something we had eatten for tea as neither of us felt too great.
Mum decided then that she wasn’t going to go to work the next day and I don’t blame her. I was supposed to be meeting Lou the following evening (Thursday) for a little light exercise in his car. But did not feel up to having a big muscular man pounding down on my stomach with his full body weight... Just in case! I decided I would text him at a more reasonable hour and when he would be at work in case Jennie saw the message.

2007-11-28T20:59:00.000Z

I have had one of my usual insomniac nights and managed to get a measly 2 hours sleep last night. Typical seeing as how I had a busy day planned at Bristol hospital (nearly 2 hours away from home) and due to this I did not want to have to take a sleeping tablet. The tablets I have been given to help me catch a few z’s can often have a hangover effect the following day.
I made the most of being awake all hours and managed to catch up on this journal big style. I had the cat trying to assist me by happily walking across the laptop arching her back up until I had mouth full of black fur, yummy! Anyhow, back to the sleepy Bristol trip!
At nearly 8:30 am me and mum finally crawled out of the house both feeling exhausted, I was feeling fine to start with except for being rather tired that is! When we got about half way through the journey I started to have a hot flush then to feel queasy. I felt so bad that I made mum pull over in pub car park! Once the car had stopped I felt fine again, very bizarre. Most people grow out of travel sickness, not grow into it!
When we arrived I faced the long hop (on crutches) down a very steep hill into the hospital. As usual when I got to the clinic reception they sent me for the x-ray. I only had 2 films shot, one standing (not the most comfortable position) and one laid on my side. We went back along the long winding corridors to the frame clinic and had a lengthy hour wait, I wasn’t checking the time and could have easily been longer! I finally got ushered into a small room and told that my consultant would be along in a minute. They left the door to the doctors office open which meant I was able to be nosy and look at everyone’s x-rays as they came up on the screen. I am fascinated by the human body, so going through this experience has been incredible and a massive learning curve for me.
Every Wednesday the hospital's physiotherapy department holds a frame class. This is basically a big gym session for all of the frame patients like me. It’s really good to meet up with other people in the same situation as yourself, you can get some great advise from the people who have had the frame on for longer and just have a general chin wag! I was too tired today and had already decided against staying on for the class. One of the other frame patients poked his head into the room whilst I was waiting for the consultant. I had met him several times before and got on really well with him. He asked me if I was going to the class later in the day and was surprised when I said no. Both he and my mum were sat there trying to convince me and he suddenly turned and walked out of the room saying “see you down there”. I shouted “We’ll see” at his disappearing back.
When the consultant finally came in to see me, he had a quick look at my leg and the position my foot was now in and said it was looking good. He asked me if I was happy with the positioning which I was, then he ran off to get me “some homework”. Both me and mum looked at each other feeling rather confused. When he returned he had printed out another sheet of adjustments to be made on the frame. My heart sunk, I thought that part was all over but obviously not.

2007-11-27T20:59:00.000Z

I have just been passing the time this morning by doing my favourite puzzles... Sudoku! I am completely addicted with them and could quite happily spend all day sat there completing page after page! I did my usual snoop on the internet, obviously checking my own e-mail and Face Book accounts first and then doing the sneaky checking of Dale’s accounts. On his e-mail, he has tried to e-mail a woman near London whom he had become close to (online only) not so long ago. He then sent her a message saying “I have prayed long and hard about this and God says shouldn’t talk to you anymore”!!! This was all because she was into a form of healing called reiki which Dale is completely against. Today's message to her was along the lines of “Don’t be cry baby and talk to me, even if it is spouting evil obscenities towards me” He is a very, very strange man.
When I saw his Face Book account, I became rather concerned. You have a status message at the top which people fill out with a brief message of how they are feeling, and Dale’s read “I am feeling annoyed that someone has set light to my car”. I remembered immediately a conversation we had a couple of months before I left him, in which he was saying how he wanted to take his (rubbish) car to a deserted lane and torch it to make an insurance claim as he needed the money. It took a great deal of arguing before he would see my side, however he was still convinced that was the right thing to do and that there was no wrong in doing it. Please remember this is a man who at the time was training to become a minister in the church! I scrolled further down the page to see a message from a good friend of ours saying “Sorry to hear about your car mate, any idea who it was?”. Dale’s response “It could be the neighbours we used to have problems with or Kelly might have put her new boyfriend up to it”
Seeing this message absolutely infuriated me, so I called my mum (who else?!) for some advise, she just said there was probably nothing we could do about it and to steer well clear until he says any other slanderous comments. As soon as I hung up from our conversation, my old minister (Richard) from Taunton phoned me and asked if I wanted a visitor. He didn’t even need to ask! I desperately wanted to see a friendly face from the town I called home, and someone who could possibly shed some light on the latest of the Dale situation.
After agreeing to the visit, I called Phillis and explained to her my dilemma about the car torching incident. She said that it does sound suspicious, however, she didn’t believe he would have done it himself as it was right outside of the flat, but there was always the possibility of him having become someone else to do it. Phillis even said, of course he was going to put the blame onto me, he was still very much deluded and he was believing the stories he himself was making up! She said that she would check with her husband (also a good friend of both me and Dale and the person he made the comments to) and find out when they can pop over to see me as she wants to catch up properly.
Rich turned up about half an hour later and we sat down to a cup of tea (what else do you offer a man of the church, eh?!). He said that the car was suspicious, however I should try to forget as there was nothing I could do. He also confirmed a lot that Phillis had said on the phone, including the fact that Richard had told Dale he was no longer allowed to do any testimonies within the church due to his current state of mind. Me and Richard swapped stories of Dalefor nearly two hours when he dropped a bomb shell on me...
I asked how my soon to be ex-stepson was doing and Rich looked over at me and said not too good. The other night he paid Dale and Jonathon a visit and my stepson was just going to bed. He obviously knew that Richard was there to talk about me and suddenly piped up “When’s Kelly coming home?” and Dale snapped back “She’s not, she doesn’t love nor care for you, go to bed”. Obviously he didn’t settle and soon got back up complaining he couldn’t sleep and made Dale read him a story. As soon as he was back in the room with Richard, Rich told him off for saying what he did to the kid. Richard also said to him that he needs to get his facts straight before saying anything like that, because that was one thing he was certain off, that I did love and care for the kid more than anything.
Richard also mentioned to me that when he got to the flat the gas fire was on full blast with the lounge window wide open! Apparently Dale’s reason was that the Doctor had said that Jonathon needs constant fresh air to help his asthma. The kid didn’t have asthma, I know this because we had taken him to the Doctor’s at the beginning of the year to investigate a cough that he had, but the Doc said it definitely was not asthma. After I had said all of this to Rich, he said he believed the window was open to clear the air of the smell, however Dale didn’t appear stoned at all. I explained to him that Dale hides it very, very well indeed. I used to hang around with people who smoked it, I had even had quite a few spliffs myself so i knew the signs inside and out, but with Dale, you often had to be stood within a foot of him, able to look deep inside his eyes before you could tell, he was very clever with hiding his tracks.
Later in the day, when mum returned home, I got rather snappy with her as my emotions had finally caught up with me. I hate to cry in front of people (even family) as it shows that you are weak, and I was only just able to stop the tears from flowing. I later apologised and explained everything that had been happening during the day. We watched a very silly kids film (I swear it’s aimed at adults though!) to try and cheer me up.
Drew text me as usual and I was a bit off with him, I really must have been down as he can always manage to cheer me up. He even suggested that he was to back off to give me some space to sort my head out and so that my ex wouldn’t have anything to find out, but only if I wanted. I replied that I definitely didn’t want him to back off, I enjoy his company and although I had always said I didn’t want anything serious, it’s headed that way. I also told him the only thing that was going to cheer me up today was a big cuddle from him. He then called me soppy.
I think at the moment I just need to get away. I hate being cooped up for too long in the same place with the same people, I need a break from it (with a nice man I reckon) to freshen up.

Extra Curricular - work relations

2007-11-26T20:57:00.000Z

Somehow I have managed to get myself into another fine mess. I will give you a brief run down of the history. I have many links throughout the South West due to my position within the company I work for. This includes one of the major cities, Plymouth, where I have worked on many occasions in the past to save the manager’s backside from the sack. I have never been particularly friendly with the staff whilst being in their store, however I do know them all very well indeed.
Since my operation I have become rather well known across the social networking site “Face book” with all of my friends and colleagues past and present. On there I have found many of my co-workers across the South West including an ex-Sales Manager from Plymouth (Declan) whose conversation never went past “all right”. Not even a question, just a mere phrase.
For the past couple of weeks Declan has been messaging me on Face Book, just making small talk to pass the time, however today it went to a whole other level. I had previously noticed on his account that he was seeing a girl who used to work with him within the sales team, so I have always tried to keep my distance from him slightly. As I said to him one day “She could take me out with one glare, let alone if she was to take a swipe at me!”
So it took me by surprise when his flirting got a lot stronger. He was asking me how I had been over the past week (as we hadn’t spoken for a while) so I told him that I had been bored as usual but still managing to keep myself pleased at the same time. We both share the same level of dirty mind, although I had honestly meant for that comment to be innocent! I have to admit, it did make me chuckle (partially from surprise) when he replied “Really, do tell.”
Me - “Dirty boy, wanting to know all of the details! I have many toys to play with, what do you expect me to do when I am laid in bed all day long?!”
Dec - “Very nice. And me dirty? Never! Your the one who appears to be filthy, speaking of which, what is the filthiest thing you have ever done?”
Me - “The filthiest thing? There have been many moments for me, but I think the filthiest time has to be having a threesome followed by a foursome the next weekend. And your filthiest moment?”
Dec - “Nothing on that level! Mine has to be sleeping with 3 women all on the same night. I showered in between of course!”
Me - “Glad to see you believe in hygiene!”
Later in the same conversation, the topic moved onto photography and whether I had ever been photographed or filmed. I explained that I had been filmed whilst with an ex-boyfriend, but he still had the video, although he had probably sold it to some sleazy amateur porn production company by now. I also went on to say how I had been photographed many times, both tastefully (by other people) and not so when done myself for certain people! I said how I had wanted to do a professional nude shoot for my hubby but he wouldn’t let me. When I find the right person I would absolutely love to do a professional photo shoot, all very tasteful poses of course, and give the final product as a special gift to that person. Declan asked if he would ever see any of these pictures and I said only if he played his cards right. I was feeling rather playful by this time and the way that we had been talking so openly with each other for the past few weeks I was up for a laugh.
I was flicking through all of the x-rated pictures on my phone (kept in a separate folder to make the searching easier - not that I do this regularly mind!) when it became obvious he was getting impatient and sent me another message.
Dec - “I take it your looking for some?”
Me - “Just having a look at what would get you going... I think you are the sort of guy that would want the direct approach. Or would you prefer subtle to start with? I take it your GF is not going to walk in? I would expect something in return... just as pornographic perhaps?
Dec - “Direct is good, subtle to ;-) I have half hour to kill. I’ll see what I can make.”
Me - “ I can not believe I am about to send this to you! What’s your number?”
I managed to find a very teasing photo of me with a vibrator all the way inside, beginning to get rather wet. I sent it to his number in the hope that you couldn’t recognise me.
Dec - “Getting hard already!”
Me - “I take it you got it?! Just make sure they go no further ok?”
I sent him a couple more, showing the true extent of my filth (whilst solo that is!), one with just my hand and the final one was showing the result when I was dripping wet. He sent me one of his cock, I could tell he had only just taken the picture as you could see the keyboard next to his wanking hand. I have to say I was impressed and pretty much surprised, I never expected him to have such a good sized package. I messaged him to give him some encouragement and said I was pleased with the size. That is something I have learnt, always tell the man that his package is a nice size even if it’s not. It gives them more confidence and they will give you so much more passion when they are on an ego trip.
Dec - ”and it gets bigger...”
Me - “You are a tease! I had better have some company in my hotel next time I am in Plymouth?”
Dec - “We’ll see ;-)” “When are you back to work?”
Me - “Probably January when the cage has come off, unless they were to send me to work in your store as it’s the only disabled friendly store!”
Dec - “Me and you working together... Hmmm, too many dirty thoughts!”
Me - “lol! Would you be able to keep your hands to yourself?!”
Dec - ”You could always sit on them?”
Me - “there’s a thought! My hand’s very wet now, I will just have to suck it dry”
Dec - “Tease! I gotta go hun”
I swear I will never be able to look at him in the same light! Let alone with a straight face, and if I ever had to d a store visit when I have to be highly professional and strict?! Oh God, what have I done.

2007-09-29T20:56:00.000+01:00

The day for the foursome had arrived and so had my nerves (again). My dad drove me over to Taunton and dropped me off at Jennie’s house thinking the only reason I want to stay there is to go to church... Hmmm I think I will conveniently oversleep the next day!
Jen was in the same position as me this time round, unsure and nervous about sleeping with someone new.
We just chatted about what we thought would happen that night and planned our outfits... You’ve got to make an effort for the boys ;-) Jennie picked out her Sexy Santa outfit (Christmas came early for all of us that night!) and I had a see through cream negligee with white stockings and ridiculously high heals! Please bear in mind at this point I had recently had a broken leg and seriously struggled to walk in flat shoes!
At 7 pm, Drew strolled through the door and took a seat on the other sofa in the lounge whilst Jennie put the kids to bed. We sat and chatted about all sorts, including his current living situation (with his ex girlfriend). he also showed me that he had brought a bullet vibrator with him and spare batteries which me and Jen had requested earlier in the day. For the rest of the evening Jennie, Drew and I all sat watching rubbish Saturday night TV until Lou got home from work.
When he finally got in, he sat and chatted to Drew much to Jen’s annoyance as she couldn’t hear the TV. When he finally had enough of Jennie’s whining about the TV, he went upstairs for a bath before getting dirty again with us. I could smell him before he even came back downstairs and felt myself already getting wet. Me and Jen sat eating chinese to give us enough energy for the night but the guys both said they didn’t want any. We also teased the guys by saying that we had a surprise for them, however neither of us let onto what it could be.
When we had finished eating Jennie and I went upstairs to get into our costumes for the night. We had quite a giggle getting into it and had to give each other a hand for most of the costume change! I had to use sellotape to get the white fluff off of the red velvet of Jen’s santa outfit, whilst doing this the guys started to come upstairs enquiring as to what the strange noises were and if we needed a hand getting out of anything. We sent them back downstairs so we could finish getting their “surprise” ready. We put my hair into two plaits like a naughty school girl and Jennie had hers down flowing over her shoulders. Now was the issue of how we would pose for the boys as they came through the door. Before the operation I was always very flexible and could reach my legs up unbelievably high, so I suggested putting one leg up onto the end of the bed, one of us either side of the bed. I had the side next to the wall so I could lean back and arch my back meaning my hips were thrust forward.
Now that we were ready for our foursome debut, we hollered for the boys to come upstairs. Lou walked through the door closely followed by Drew, their jaws dropped to the floor as they caught sight of us both, still recovering from yet again another fit of giggles, Jen glimpsed up at them both and said they were to remove our clothes first and then they were to lick us both out. This was greeted with enthusiastic replies of “Gladly” and “I’d be happy to”.
I could already see the bulge in Lou’s shorts getting larger and laid myself on the bed next to Jen. Drew had the job of undressing me whilst Lou tackled C’s clothing, Drew looked terrified, it was the first time he had seen me in a state of undress and he was obviously more nervous than the rest of us. He struggled with the buckle on the shoes at first, but once that was out of the way the rest soon peeled off quickly. He asked if I wanted the stockings on or off, I said “everything off” in the most sultry voice I could manage.
I saw Lou grinning subtly at me as he began to go down on his wife. Drew lowered his face down in between my legs and began his mission. He kept on commenting on how sweet I tasted and then proceeded to kiss me so that I could taste my own juices (not the first time I have to admit). He kissed me so passionately and pushed me back down into the bed and began licking me out again. At this point Lou began to finger Jen and she urged him to put more in until nearly his whole fist vanished inside her. Drew and I just watched in amazement at how much she could fit inside her and how much she was enjoying it. I don’t think I will be trying that one until I have had a kid or two to stretch it out!
I then prompted Drew to have full blown sex with me, I didn’t know how it would work with us due to his size, so we tried first with me on my back legs wide. I could see he was having trouble staying hard (stage fright maybe?) and offered him a hand however he refused. When he was finally able to stay erect he slipped a condom on and struggled to roll it down over his shaft, so another one then came out. Once he was eventually hard and protected he climbed on top of me, each time he got his knob in me, the condom would start to roll back down and he would go soft, so we agreed it would be best for him just to continue with the oral, however he did not want anything in return. I was happy with that, I have to admit giving a blow job is never a girls preferred choice.
Earlier in the day Jennie and I had discussed lesbians and what they must do to sexually please each other, I revealed to her that I had never properly kissed another woman, however we had agreed that during our foursome we would not have any lesbian activity, it would only be straight sex which the guys both knew and understood. I hadn’t realised that Jen actually paid attention to our earlier conversation and reached across me in the bed (I presumed to get something on the bedside table), she said “excuse me” quietly as her breast brushed across mine and next thing I know both our bosoms are pressed against each other and she is holding my face to hers embracing me in a passionate kiss. I felt so embarrassed as I was unprepared and knew that my mouth was salivating! It felt normal kissing her though, it was a long embrace and when we finished we both glimpsed over at the guys who were both obviously shocked and amazed, their eyes looked as if they were about to pop out of their heads! Lou shouted out “Get in” and smiled at me and winked. I can safely say they were impressed.
Soon after Drew’s failed attempt with me, Lou suggested switching partners so that Jennie could try something/someone different. Lou looked almost relieved when he was finally laid just behind me, he rapidly slipped a condom on and started pounding me hard and deep, much better than before it has to be said. I could feel the condom starting to roll down his shaft and cannot say whether it was on or not as when he pulled out he used his hand to retrieve the condom. It certainly didn’t feel secure. I didn’t care though, I hate to admit it but I wouldn’t mind having kids with him... He has already produced one beautiful little girl. He came as he was pulling out and I needed to clean up after so I am guessing that it was not on properly. We laid there with his arms wrapped around me making me feel safe and secure. We were in a world of our own and had completely forgotten Jennie and Drew who were still shagging slowly just the other side of Lou. We laid there for what seemed like an eternity just laughing and he whispered in my ear “I’m falling for you”. All I replied with was “I know”.

2007-09-27T20:54:00.000+01:00

I spent all day worrying about what to wear that night when Drew was to pick me up. It had been years since I last had a proper date, if at all. I wanted to wear something warm yet still sexy and showed off my great assets. I ended up opting for tight skinny fit jeans with a brown V-neck sweater with holes throughout the sleeves.
When he arrived I told mum to stay in but as a typical parent she had to poke her head round the door and say hi! How embarrassing! But at least she doesn’t know the true reason as to why we were meeting!!! We got on pretty well that night, and luckily did not run out of anything to say. I have to say though I was shocked at how big he was! I felt like a little dwarf stood next to him. Just think of a celebrity with her man mountain!
As I had enjoyed the evening I gave him a small kiss goodnight, however I had to pull away when he tried to slip the tongue in.

Introducing a fourth!

2007-09-26T20:53:00.000+01:00

Jen text me earlier in the week to say that Lou had found an additional person to have a foursome with, his best mate Drew. Lou then confirmed this today when I received a text from him saying “Great news, you up for a 4some this weekend? Drew is going to shag Jen so I can have you, here’s his number so you can get to know him first.” I text Lou back saying I didn’t know how to approach this guy, it was a long time since I had met anyone new outside of work and didn’t have a clue where to begin. Lou simply told me to act the same way to Drew as I do him... In other words flirt like crazy.
Message 1 - “Hi Drew, it’s Kelly, Jennie’s friend. I hear Lou has collared you into a passionate weekend amongst friends?! Is this your first foursome? x” What else was I supposed to say?! I had never met the guy before and all I knew about him was that he was really tall (6’4”)!
This very simple yet bizarre message began a day long conversation via text with Drew and Lou. Drew seemed a really nice guy, kind of on my level of filth and soon asked if I wanted to meet up for a drink one night so we could get to know each other properly before the fateful night, so near 60 messages later, we agreed the next night, he would drive over to Yeovil and take me out for a drink.

2007-09-24T20:52:00.000+01:00

The next day Lou went off to work leaving Jennie and I to have a lie in. In the afternoon we moved out onto the patio again discussing the previous night. I didn’t know how to act around Jen as I had worked out Lou’s intentions for me. Did she know as well? She certainly didn’t seem happy with the idea of the threesome last night. My head was all over the place and I think Jennie’s was too.
We both sat in silence for a while nursing our cups of tea. Jen looked up at me and said quite sternly, that is never to happen again. She made me “pinky promise”, a very childish thing to do, but I could tell it meant something to her and I obviously wasn’t going to try to piss her off any more than I possibly had already. We agreed a foursome would be fine but no more threesomes. I knew that for me, the foursome would be out of the question. I didn’t know anyone who would want to do something like this and Dale certainly wouldn’t! Not that I would want to get in bed with him again. He was always convinced that I was seeing other guys and Lou happened to be the first person he had accused me of fancying and sleeping with! If only he knew!
Jennie and I talked about who her and Lou could have a foursome with and she was constantly dodging my name. She must have known that Lou was starting to get feelings for me. She was only suggesting a foursome with their friends Sonny and Tina. However, as I mentioned before Sonny was up for it and Tina was not. Tina was very paranoid and self conscious of her body. I really don’t know why though, she’s gorgeous and the perfect build!
When Lou got home from work at 9 pm, we all sat in the lounge having a final cup of tea and fag together. Jen said I could come back the following weekend, but NOTHING was to happen! She can be very scary when she wants to be so I instantly backed down and shot a look at Lou just in case he was going to start complaining that he wanted another threesome, luckily he stayed quiet looking into his cup of tea. He went upstairs and had a quick bath and soon returned smelling irresistible, talk about the Lynx effect! I had to force myself to stay away!!! He went outside and loaded the rest of my possessions into his car, let’s just say it’s a good job he has an estate car, I don’t exactly travel light!
On the drive home, we got talking about the weekends illicit activities. Lou apologised for Jennie’s behaviour, I simply said it was understandable. I felt nervous being in the car alone with him and had butterflies in my stomach. How was I supposed to act around him? It was difficult to read him, I couldn’t fathom out what was going on in his head. He started to explain to me that he had always had feelings for me since the day we met and knew instantly that I was different from the others he had been with. Why me?! I always seem to attract the married men! But he is so lovely, he has the looks (cute, cuddly bear with a cheeky grin), the mentality (he has sense money wise) and can get anything from furniture to knick knack's for free, a very handy person to know really, and also used to be a professional chef.
I sparked up a final fag just as we were coming into Yeovil. My mum didn’t know I had started smoking again so I wanted to have one last one before we arrived. Unfortunately my timing was as terrible as ever and we soon pulled into my street. I told Lou to continue down the road and we parked up in a secluded spot behind a group of garages to finish our cigarettes. He sat telling me about how unhappy he is in his marriage and how hard it is to live with Jennie because of her lack of money sense. I could see where he was coming from with all of his complaints and the more he told me the more sympathetic I felt for him. We sat for a while and Lou began telling me all of his feelings for me and how he would leave Jen for me. My head was spinning, I was one of her best friends, I should be the one telling her that Lou is being a naughty boy, not the one to cause the trouble!
I said we ought to get back to my mum’s as it was going to be really late by the time Lou got home. He kissed me passionately and I kissed him back. He’s such a good kisser, he makes you melt. I could feel myself getting wet and really wished that the back of the car was empty so he could fuck me again one last time.
We soon pulled up outside the house and I said to Lou that I appreciated the weekend and everything him and Jenny had been doing for me and that we needed to be very careful, I didn’t want anyone to find out and get hurt. I don’t think I could live with myself if I was to hurt her like that, she was crazy about him. Completely head over heals in fact.
When Lou had finished emptying the car he stood in the hallway preparing to leave. I was slightly annoyed that my mother was stood right behind me so I couldn’t say exactly what was on my mind, nor kiss him good bye. Instead he turned to me and said “Gimme a squeeze then!” We stood embracing for what seemed like forever. I didn’t want the moment to end, I breathed his smell in deep then tapped his back saying he really ought to get back to Jennie.

The Morning After the Night Before...

2007-09-23T19:54:00.000+01:00

The morning after the night before and we all woke at half 6 whilst Lou was getting ready for work. Jennie and I had decided the night before to take the kids to our local church where many of our friend’s and Jennie’s family go, so we decided to get up as well. Lou looked like death warmed up when he finally crawled out of the door. Both me and Jen felt so tired however were still determined to go to church. This was going to be my first church service since leaving Dale who is highly religious and attends our church every week without fail (until recently that is)
Sat in church that Sunday morning was like hell. We were both sat near the front of the church still giggling about the night before, half way through the lord’s prayer when we all chanted in unison “forgive us our sins” I cracked up. I couldn’t contain it anymore, it seemed so wrong, us being in church the morning after a night like that! Forgive us our sins lord for we have many! I think if we had a confessional booth like the Catholics, Jennie and I would have been there all day!
After a few minutes had passed and a few odd looks, I was finally able to muffle my laughter, however the laughter soon moved to tears. We moved onto the worship of the day, which happened to be all of my favourite songs however as these were my favourite, they also happen to have been my wedding songs. I felt myself welling up and sat down and Jen soon noticed the tears starting to flow. She asked if I was ok and if I wanted to go out, I tried to put a brave face on and said we should stay. I wasn’t going to let the memories of a man who wrecked my life make me miss out on my weekly activity that I loved with my friends. My brave face soon shattered and I told her I had to get out of there.
Jennie went upstairs to get her fags whilst I went and sat on the tarmac of the church driveway. It was the first time I had properly cried in front of someone since leaving him. Jen soon emerged from the doorway clutching a packet of cigarettes, she passed me one which I promptly sparked up and sat clinging onto Jennie as if she was the last person on the planet. My fag soon burnt out so another came out of the pack which I rapidly smoked through. We then ventured back in and I suggested we sit near the back in case I needed to dash out again. Thankfully when we returned inside the worship was over meaning I didn’t need to risk hearing any more songs which would bring back the harsh memories of reality.
At the end of the service everyone congregates at the back of the church for a coffee and a chat. Most people by this time had heard on the grapevine that I had left my hubby and everyone was rapidly rushing over to me to offer their support and a shoulder to cry on. I had one person Pattie, who kept on telling me to do what my heart said, however when I told her that there is no way I could take him back after everything he had and hadn’t done, she kept repeating “no, you do what your heart says, not what other people say”.
Soon after I had been accosted by Pattie, Jennie whisked me back to her house on the outskirts of town where we migrated out into the garden for the afternoon. We sat on the patio smoking and chatting about the previous night and how fun and enjoyable it had been. Jennie admitted to me that she found it hard to watch Lou with me. She couldn’t explain the feeling fully, however described it as being a pull on her heart, not quite jealousy though. She then went onto ask me if I had ever had feelings, before last night, for Lou. This I completely denied, as a friend I know that it would be wrong to admit I had ever fancied him, let alone, dreamt of having his kids! We both agreed never to have another threesome (together that is!). That comment stood with exception to that night of course! We decided that I would stay until the Monday and Lou would drive me back to the town of Yeovil (where I was living at the time). I had stored some of my belongings and small furniture at Jennie and Lou’s house, so when Lou took me home he would bring back the rest of my things as well.
All day Jen and I had been texting Lou from my phone (Jennie had run out of credit), and soon the messages were obviously aimed at myself. They were the sort of messages Jen would have been shocked to see Lou sending to me and trying to hide them from her was nearly impossible. Jennie is a very nosy person, I don’t usually mind it as previously I had never had anything to hide and I am very open with anything in my life. Clearly Jennie wanted to know who the many messages were from and kept glimpsing over my shoulder and remarking “Why is he sending you that?! That must have been meant for me”, I ended up having to turn my phone onto silent and keep it in my pocket at all times, I didn’t want to risk anything for them.
That night we decided to let Lou share the bed with Jennie and I as it was too cold downstairs and we both felt sorry for him. Jen decided it would be best for her to sleep in-between me and Lou in-case his hands strayed during the night I presume. Whilst we were all laid there just chatting, Lou started to go quiet yet cheeky. He turned to Jennie and said how he really wanted a fuck, Jen replied “But babes, Kelly’s here, you’ll have to wait till tomorrow night”, Lou wasn’t going to give in easily and I said I didn’t mind through gritted teeth.
Soon after saying that, I realised I really did mind. Not only was I starting to feel a little sea sick from the rocking of the bed but I had a slight pang of jealousy as I knew that I wasn’t going to get any for a very long time due to the misfortune of being single and living back with my mother (never a good thing when you want to invite a guy back to yours). Lou soon tried his luck by sneaking his hand over to my groin where my own hands were already very much busy. He made me even wetter when Jen noticed and snatched his hand back. Lou then decided to really push his luck with Jen and started saying “What about Kell, she’s having to put up with this and she obviously needs looking after at the moment, she probably feels left out”. Which was true as I was feeling very much left out.
Jennie obviously got fed up with his persistent whinging and finally slammed her hands down on the bed and said “Fine, Kell do you want some?” Like I was going to turn down another night like the previous one! I just shrugged my shoulders and said, “if you don’t mind, but only if you are sure.” I didn’t want to get in-between them and their marriage. My marriage was well and truly over, however theirs was still going. It was apparent that Jennie was starting to get frustrated with the both of us constantly saying only if you’re sure that it’s ok and you will be ok with this in the morning as she was beginning to get snappy.
Lou soon moved over to me and took me on my side again as he knew that I enjoyed that position, he can get really deep that way!
He was obviously getting very carried away, so he knocked himself out of rhythm to avoid coming to quick. He then had to pull out and stop where he was getting too excited. He soon got back in and started to pump away much quicker than before, I then felt him begin to shoot his load and rapidly retreat. We didn’t want any accidental pregnancies (not with me anyway), try explaining that one to the church, Jennie’s family and mine come to think of it!
Jennie looked gutted that I had made him come and not her. After we both cleaned up we all laid down and went to sleep. Except me that is, I had cottoned on to Lou, I had realised he was falling for me. We were having an affair right under Jennie’s nose and she didn’t even realise, damn it I had only just realised!

Threesomes and New Beginnings

2007-09-22T18:41:00.000+01:00

Before I begin, I would like to say, I do not agree with threesomes in a relationship, the sex with your long term partner will NEVER be the same and can possibly lead to a break-up, I also feel very sorry for any neighbours!!!

I was sat on the Sofa at Jennie and Lou’s house on a Saturday night. I was staying for the weekend as I had been since leaving my hubby, there would be me and Jennie sharing the double bed in their room upstairs and Lou would have the tiny lumpy sofa bed in the lounge. The kids had gone up to bed and as usual mine and Jennie’s conversation soon turned to filth! We were sat next to each other on the sofa when Jen turned to me and simply said “Lou wants to have a threesome.”
I was vaguely aware that they both wanted to have a foursome with a couple they are good friends with, Sonny and Tina, the other guy (Sonny) was quite happy to give it a go (name me a man that wouldn’t), however they were having problems convincing his girlfriend (Tina). She is a very paranoid person and extremely self conscious of her own body. Despite having the same body shape and stretch marks as Jennie she was not going to change her mind anytime soon.
When this was said to me, I simply turned to Jen and gave her a look of false shock. It didn’t surprise me in the slightest, Lou was the sort of guy who had already tried everything and anything in the world of sexual activities (except gay sex) and had also shagged his way up and down the street in which they live.
Jennie just continued, “ I don’t know if I would want a threesome, and even if I had one who would it be with? I would want someone who is a really good friend so I know I could trust them. Lou suggested you, but I don’t know?” Well that was a hint if I ever heard one!
We just joked around about it for a while and decided on a plan. We wouldn’t actually have a threesome, however would lead Lou on and convince him we were up for it. It would be fun just to wind him up and see his face. After that we just sat watching TV and forgot all about the previous conversation.
Lou finally returned home from his highly physically demanding job at around about 9 following a 12 hour shift. I had completely wiped mine and Jen’s conversation from my mind when she suddenly piped up and started saying to Lou about how we had discussed what they had talked about earlier in the week and that I was up for it. I felt myself blush crimson as the little light bulb flickered on in my head and just glimpsed over at Lou and winked. He tried to hide the surprised and happy expression from his face failing miserably. After winding him up for 5 minutes me and Jennie fell about with laughter! Lou looked up seeming very confused looked at me as if he was a poor dog that had just been kicked.
“You didn’t really think I would do that did you?! What do you take me for?” I managed to sputter out in-between laughs. He soon got over it and we all had a cup of tea and a fag.
It was about midnight when we finally decided to head off to bed. Jennie pulled out the sofa bed for Lou and went off to find him a couple of sleeping bags as the back door was going to be left open for the dog to go in and out. I went upstairs after saying good night and got changed into my PJs. Me and Jennie laid in bed chatting for ages, mostly laughing about our prank from earlier in the evening. Lou sent Jennie a text saying “if you do want to do anything you need to decide now cos I have work tomorrow.”
We looked over at each other both with a look of terror on our faces, which soon turned into yet more laughter. Was he just trying to call our bluff and get revenge for his disappointment or was he being serious? Jen phoned him (lazy mare!) and announced how I was wetting myself with laughter, I was surprised he couldn’t hear me from downstairs, I was hysterical by this point simply from the thought of seeing them both naked!!!
We all talked about it umming and ahhing for ages, then Lou said “why don’t I come upstairs so we can talk about it cos it’s bloody freezing down here.” We agreed and up he ran, he was right he was cold. He sat on the end of the bed bundled in the duvet trying to warm up and kept moving his foot onto my leg. I didn’t know how to feel about it, had Jennie noticed what he was doing? Was he trying to come onto me? I was only 3 weeks out of a marriage, my head was already all over the place, did I need something like this to mess it up even more? What if Dale found out? He would then be able to divorce me for adultery, I certainly did not want that black mark on me, I am not the sort of person to cheat on someone. If you are with someone, then you are with them and them alone. I have been hurt by cheaters before (usually me being the other woman) but that’s another story.
For me and Jen this was a first, so we were kind of relying on Lou to guide us as to what we do, we had already agreed that there would be no lesbian activity which Lou said he was ok about, you could tell he was a little disappointed though. I had had a threesome a few years ago, however I was so drunk that night I barely remember it! I just know that the guy only had full sex with my mate, I was there as an addition, he only used toys and licked me out. Anyway back to our current night of passion.
We talked about any issues we had or what we felt uncomfortable about. For me I was worried about my body, I had recently had major surgery on my leg, so as well as being so skinny I looked anorexic I had hideous scars going all the way up my thigh. Lou said he had no problems with scars and that skinny was fine, I had big tits so he really wasn’t worried. Jennie showed me her stretch marks (barely noticeable) but it made me feel better all the same.
After that and Lou had warmed up, he wriggled up under the duvet until he was laid in-between me and his wife. He looked across at each of us with his usual big cheeky smile. Me and Lou were both concerned with Jennie, and kept asking her if she was sure that she wanted to go ahead with it and we all promised each other that nothing would change in our friendships, no awkwardness and the like. They had no condoms in the drawer, so Jen had the job of convincing me that L is very good with his self control and would be able to pull out in time. He asked her how she wanted to do it and she replied in a very quiet voice that Lou and I should kiss so that we could all get used to the idea, I was nervous at this point and could feel my heart thumping against my chest. I glimpsed down at Lou and he smiled up ready and raring to go, I bent down and kissed him gently on the lips to start and glimpsed over at Jennie to check she was ok with it, she urged me on so I guessed she was fine! We kissed more passionately and then he moved away and kissed Jen, he moved his hand beneath the duvet and started rubbing my clit whilst his other hand was on his knob, I followed suit and moved my hand in-between his legs and he laid back enjoying every moment, Jennie then took over on his shaft whilst I massaged his balls. We briefly talked about who would be fucked first, Jen decided she wanted me to be “seen to” first, as then it would mean she would have the making up sex with Lou, plus he would come in her and not me.
He was the biggest I had ever had and considering the fact that I still had a broken leg from one and a half months ago, he knew he had to go gently. I felt his cock teasing my lips and throbbing as he slowly eased it inside the moist walls. I was laid on my back looking up to him and he kept whispering to me “Are you ok? Is this all right?” I glimpsed over and saw Jennie glaring at us both as he pumped me harder and faster, I flinched from the tightness as he pushed even deeper. He asked me if it would be easier on my side, so I obliged and rolled over, it was my first time having sex laid on my side like that, I clung onto the edge of the bed before he pushed me off. And bit down on the pillow to stifle my screams of pleasure. I have never had so many multiple orgasms in my life! It was an incredible feeling. Just as I was about to come again (I had lost count how many times by then), Lou pulled out panting saying he’s getting too excited. He moved onto Jennie and made love for a while whilst fingering me at the same time. Jen soon caught sight of his hand and pulled his hand up onto her breast. I watched while they fucked and entertained myself.
We stopped a couple of hours in and sat looking at each other in shock. Lou went downstairs to get us all a drink. We sat around giggling at each other enjoying ice cold Cola and chain smoking Lou’s cigarettes. Ten minutes later Lou looked at both of us in turn “Ready for another round?” Of course I was, but I didn’t know how Jennie was taking the situation. She said she was fine about it and was also ready. Lou took me on the side again getting even deeper than before and passionately kissing my neck and shoulders. He was getting harder and faster, the more of me he had, the more he wanted and the more I wanted.
After a while Jennie piped up “Right, that’s enough, me now. And I want it doggy.” Me and Lou looked at each other, we both knew that the night of passion for us was over and tried to hide our disappointment from Jen. He took her from behind and kept glimpsing over at me asking if I was ok. He was constantly trying to involve me again but Jennie was having none of it. Each time he tried to kiss me she would swipe at him and pull his face back to her lips. I knew that it was getting to her so I didn’t even try to encourage him, I just pleasured myself whilst watching them.
Next thing we knew it was four in the morning! Lou had work in the morning and had to be up at 6 am, so he kissed us both good night and ventured downstairs to bed leaving me and Jennie to turn over and go to sleep.

Things are looking up!

2007-09-12T13:49:00.000+01:00

No word from Dale today.
Went up to Bristol today for a check up with my consultant. Had yet again another x-ray which showed that the break was healing nicely. My second operation is now predicted for 22nd October, providing people in Bristol stop being so damn clumsy and breaking bones!